I just wondered what your thoughts are on this one. Suppose that you met and married someone and found out later that they had deceived you about who they are. Or that they had left something out about themselves that they knew would have been a deal breaker. Do you think that God would want you to stay in the marriage? Would it be sinful to divorce?
Tell them to kick rocks, and ask God to forgive you for allowing yourself to be deceived. If you would be honest about everything, and them not, you are unequally yoked.
I know, for all you legalists out there, I know what the scripture says about divorce. But the Bible doesn't talk about abuse either, does that mean a woman has to stay in that situation as well?
What it finally boils down to is, we are no longer under the law.
Iinteresting question, Lydia. I believe marriage is very serious and ideally is meant for a lifetime. I believe that even if you were deceived initially that two individuals could work it out with God's help. In today's society, I think many are too quick to opt for divorce (but course this is coming from someone who has never been married). I just thank God that he doesn't treat us the same b/c boy I would be out luck. That's just my two cents. :glow:
You make an excellent point, Chozen. I stand corrected. I agree that you should always try to work things out. But I don't think you should stay in a relationship that is dragging you away from God. That was what popped into my head when reading this.
If the other person was deceiving you, they are most likely not Christian, so it would be easy for them to drag you away from your faith over time. That is always a concern, and happens all the time. That is why we are not to be unequally yoked.
I know what Paul says also, but how many times is the Christian strong enough to win over the spouse? They are usually the one that ends up changing, and I say leave if there is even a chance of this.
That's what makes the discussion interesting b/c everyone have differect perspective. That didn't cross my mind but I think we should be careful of the reasons we seek divorces today. True, it is likely they might not be a Christian if deception is involved but does that make the marriage invalid? I know several women that are saved and have unsaved husbands (which they were married prior to receiving Christ as their savior), who are maintaining their relationship with Christ and believing God to save their spouses. I know there is a scripture that says something about staying with the unsaved spouse, if they wish to stay with you. I will not get into the scripture references because I�ve read many of your post, Leon, and you can run circles around me with that Bible. I think it brings up the question of how long are we willing to wait to see a spouse saved.
Once again you are correct. I believe you should stay, and try to bring them to the Lord, until they start causing you to stumble. It is not worth your giving up your salvation. We can all be pulled down, but everyone is different in how long we can withstand.
It is not a good situation to be in. Anyone can be strong for a season, but if they are living with you, all it takes is a weak moment, and then you are right there with them. 1 Cor. 7:12-16 is the scripture you are looking for. However Paul says it is him saying this, not the Lord.
That sounds very similar to what happened with Jacob when he was deceived on his wedding night. He thought he married Rachel but they pulled a switch and gave him her older sister Leah instead, Gen 29:20-25. The Bible does not say anything about it being sinful. Quite the contrary, it was this union with Leah that brought forth the tribe of Judah, King David, Mary Joseph and Jesus. What man meant for evil, deception and trickery, God can change for Good, Romans 8:28.
That is a good question you pose. I think that God in His infinite wisdom has given us all we need to know regarding this matter. It is a tough issue but then again in God's eyes it is the most sacred covenants He makes next to the ones He made with Israel. In fact they are similar in many respects.
If someone deceives you about something from their past, does that change the reasons why both people married each other before God?
A marriage covenant is still a marriage covenant and God gave us only two specific reasons for the ability to divorce and especially remarry. This makes it very tough. Even the Apostles realizing the strictness of the marriage covenant made an interesting remark.
Mat 19:10 His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."
Did God and Jesus know that abuse existed back then and that it would exist today? Of course. That being the case we can surmise that when Jesus made this statement and limited the exception for divorce and re-marriage. Later Paul also gave a reason under certain conditions which was abandonment of an unbeliever leaving the believer.....not the other way around might I emphasize.
Now does this mean that a spouse should remain living with an abuser? No! Separation is ok but it is during this time that one would hope counseling would occur and healing would take place.
But just because someone was not honest about their past,...I would say unless they were still married to another person then that would be different...but I do not suppose you are discussing that,...then I do not see any way out of the marriage.
Thanks for your reply. And you are right this is not about abuse or adultery. But character and judgment issues. You are right though, it does not change the reason that you married before God.
