Why are guys intimidated buy nice looking women who are both educated and independent?
Posted : 31 Jul, 2017 12:08 AM
When you say independant... independant of what? Do you want a man or a best friend with benefits? Whether it's true individually or not when a woman these days proclaims herself "independant" the men hear "femminist" and avoid her and the obvious future headaches and arguments over nothing. To men a woman proclaiming herself independant means she does not need a man, to make things worse a lot of these woman shout exactly that when given the chance.
You know the apparently dirty little secret of these "regressive mysogenists"? They NEED to be needed, not just with words but tangibly. A man is built to be needed, he sees a need and that motivated him to fill it. A woman that does everything for herself gives a man nothing to do for her, he sees the spectre of hanging around as an accessory and being humiliated by both society and the woman herself when eventually she develops contempt for him. You cannot change human nature.
That (sometimes justified) paranoia aside, independant also probably means that the woman will not completely integrate into marriage, that she will strive to still be an independant entity even though marriage functions by the two people giving up most of their independance to each other. They become one flesh not just sexually but legally and functunally. You cannot be independant of yourself without being schizophrenic and the mariage ending in inevitable devorce.
There is nothing wrong with being independant of society and family etc BUT you have to leave room for that ultimate vulnerability otherwise no man that is honest wth both you and himself will ever approach you and stay.
PS you have almost nothing on your profile so that was mostly speculation. And then a dose of information on the psycology of the modern confused man.
Why are guys intimidated buy nice looking women who are both educated and independent?
Posted : 31 Jul, 2017 12:41 AM
I am not sure.
Independent? Maybe I can explain that. I was in Eastern Europe recently and noticed that due to the poverty a lot of people were in couples. Many times even two jobs are not enough to make a living. Even people with masters degree have a hard time finding a good job. The income tax rate is around 50-80%, so even if you do land a great job, the state takes a huge share of your income. The only way to survive in an environment like that is by sticking together. I noticed that in order to survive there, both men and women need each other. This is a huge incentive to settle down with someone, because you can't make it alone. In more developed countries people can survive alone. They don't NEED each other. So, they play with ideas such as feminism and independence. There are many single parents, and you actually can get some financial aid from the government if you are a single parent. So, the question is WHY GET MARRIED IF YOU CAN SURVIVE ALONE? Many men, including me, wonder why do women need a man anyway? If women are educated, independent, have a good job, and get money if they raise their kids alone, it seems to me they don't really need a man. In fact, a man is more like a unnecessary addition to a household. He is just there to do what exactly? If you are a man, you have to be super funny, optimistic, entertaining, without personality flaws or be able to do cartwheels and spell backwards and do some amazing things to be worth something. It makes me feel useless to some degree when I read a woman's profile who describes herself as super independent. I am not looking for an extremely independent woman. That's a turnoff. I want to find someone who is dependent and needs me and makes me feel that I am important part of her life because without me she would not be able to live well. I want to make her life possible and complete her, not just be an unnecessary luxury addition to her life. If a car has leather seats, that's a luxury. You could still drive a car if it didn't have any kind of luxury inside. But let's consider fuel or the windshield or the gas pedal. All those things are important to have in a car. You can't drive the car if it has no fuel or a steering wheel or a tire. These things are so important that the car won't even run without these parts. Okay, I may be exaggerating a little bit with saying that I want to be someone who makes her life possible. But I hope you get what I mean. I would rather like to be the fuel than a leather seat. I would like to feel a very necessary part of her life. So, when I sense that a woman is totally independent and can do what I can do and maybe she can do it even better, then I skip to the next one. I'm not really interested in people who are too rich, too independent, too this and that. I want someone whom I can help and be an indispensable part of her life.
Why are guys intimidated buy nice looking women who are both educated and independent?
Posted : 31 Jul, 2017 04:21 PM
out of reach... not in my league and also consider the culture we are in today, there has been a steady change in the way we teach male children to express their maleness, without the ability to express oneself in a true fashion we become baser and less likely to value ourselves, this is the effect of nearly 100 years of social engineering, of course it's a gross oversimplification but the pointers are there.
A man who knows himself is comfortable with his position, the worldly success of his partner is not as valuable as her true beauty, hmm a good wife comes to mind...they call her blessed.
A successful woman in the eyes of a modern man diminishes his testosterone levels, he forgets who he is and remembers not what he has, he's measuring himself against you.
my advice a man that keeps his mouth shut and is clear that behind the front door your relationship is based on who you both are and not what you do, I am reminded of a story about prince phillip the consort informing the queen that behind the doors of the apartment he is master.
some might take that as sexist...but wait she is queen...perhaps she preferred her man intact in his maleness and perhaps he dismissed her position in favour of their relationship....
a man that fears you is not a match, a man that challenges you and encourages you to be more, to be better is worthwhile, keeping ones status hidden is more likely to sift the chaff, gut instinct is often swayed by gain...economics 101.....
Why are guys intimidated buy nice looking women who are both educated and independent?
Posted : 1 Aug, 2017 08:14 AM
Your profile is too short. I would add more because some folks may think you are a scammer, though scammers writexlong ones too, but they are never descriptive of themselves.
Why are guys intimidated buy nice looking women who are both educated and independent?
Posted : 18 Aug, 2017 07:55 AM
Thank you OtisDesigns. For a woman to be single so long, she has to learn to be independent. What does that mean? My car breaks down in the middle of nowhere? What am I to do? I do not know anything about my car. I wave and ask for help. Maybe a man or a woman will rescue me & take me to the nearest mechanic who can tow my car. Just an example... We find ways to deal with things which would normally be done by a mate. The longer you have to do that for yourself as a woman, the more you learn to handle difficult things that a man could easily handle. Sometimes, it becomes second nature. You become solution-oriented. It is not our intent to show off like we do not need a man. But in the end, it is read that way, and It is a very unfortunate thing. Misread and misunderstood, we end up maybe being more successful or more independent in a man's eye, but you may have just misjudged our way of coping with what is seemingly a man's task which we have to do while waiting for a Godly mate. ("you" in my comment refers to the male gender. No offense is intended. Just wanted to share a female point of view. ✌ ☺).
Why are guys intimidated buy nice looking women who are both educated and independent?
Posted : 18 Aug, 2017 11:19 AM
Which demonstrates what I meant with what is meant with "independent". A lot of men would LOVE a to have a woman that can do the practical tasks herself if she needs to, they'd even hand the tools.... a woman that needs male help for every second little thing is incredibly annoying unless you only want her as a trophy anyway. One kind of man wants a trophy to display his "accomplishment" and another wants a servant that fawns over him but the sane kind (relatively anyway) wants a actually useful helper to do what he cant when she needs to. The trick for the woman is to aim for the kind of man that wants her to be whichever of these three types SHE wants to be, don't wishfully expect a playboy to not want a trophy for example.
Why are guys intimidated buy nice looking women who are both educated and independent?
Posted : 21 Aug, 2017 05:13 PM
Thankyou Obedience to the Word,
an independent minded woman with ability and character is to be cherished and noted as an example, I think perhaps you misread me, the point I was trying to make that is that a man or womans status in a relationship is irrelevant, love and acceptance is more important and if we base our values on things that distract or give a distorted view on who we really are then we all lose, I consider myself very blessed when considering intelligence, it's just a gift and pales into insignificance when coming face to face with the gift of love, if I swap intelligence with the word entrepeneur and love with manual worker the image starts to skew doesn't it ? I've just devalued love, when we put the thing that we excel at in a greater place than it ought to be we push ourselves further away from people and most importantly God, that is why I said "my advice a man that keeps his mouth shut and is clear that behind the front door your relationship is based on who you both are and not what you do", was to offer a clear line at which the world ! culture ! or society ! departs, trust and love it shields it builds and it doesn't destroy because it doesn't see status it only loves.
in fairness what you say is also true and that is the sad part, however God is good and leads many to acts of kindness in times of need and causes his saints to sacrifice for His Glory, I think once you have felt the Love of God you are changed and only the constant chitter chatter of the world can dull it, we are at pains to stay close to the source wherever or whoever we are and in the final analysis that is who we are, the ones that He called before time began, so from that perspective that is where we stand and any achievements are secondary to the call on our lives.
as a side note, I insisted that my daughter achieve above her peers whether male or female, just because I needed her to see that her value is not dictated by society or her peers but by what she put her mind to do, determination is an overlooked attribute that we all need to succeed.
ps the gentleness and matuity of your words speak volumes and I accept your rebuke, I am still learning to be concise and that can lead to being imprecise with my monologues, practise and consideration ! thankyou
Why are guys intimidated buy nice looking women who are both educated and independent?
Posted : 15 Sep, 2017 01:14 AM
Educated, is fine. The problem is independent. Just think about the word itself? The meaning of it? Then think about marriage in the the Lord? The two are joined together "as one", not as one independent vs. another independent.
Plus, we as Christians are dependent upon him. Then in marriage each is dependent upon the other together. I believe that one who has that spirit of independence has to decide if they want to humble them self to be dependent upon the other. Then join the other together as one going in the same direction as one in him. Equally yoked. Plus a man needs to know and feel that his spouse is with him. If she is stuck on being independent, then he feels separated, not together. Some people may be able to live that way, and get by. However, I can just imagine the struggle inside a person trying to live with someone but feeling alone.
I hope I have not offended you in anyway what so ever.
