Author Thread: dating divorced woman
angelicka25

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dating divorced woman
Posted : 10 Aug, 2014 03:27 PM

Would that be a reason for you guys not to date/marry a woman? I heard some men talking in church today about dating divorced woman and they all agreed that thats a no-go to them because theres no guarantee that they wont divorced them too since they already did it once and i was actually pretty shocked because i never thought that men do think like that...i mean of course a divorce shouldnt be an option if you get married,but sometimes it is neccecerly,i would never judge a divorced person like that because ive been thru it too,so heres my question,is that really such a no-go to all christian man or is it just the personal opinion of the men in my church?

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Posted : 16 Aug, 2014 06:27 AM

Unless it was a divorce due to adultery, then it is adultery to marry a divorced woman. Not just for the man, but you cheat both parties in to committing the sin.



And you have to ask yourself, would a man want to marry a woman who was committing adultery, i.e. if she caused the divorce.



If the man committed adultery, then it was not the woman's fault and there is no problem.



Though the commandments are not the basis for salvation but the rewards in heaven.

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HoosierHomeschooler

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dating divorced woman
Posted : 17 Aug, 2014 09:48 PM

I think it depends on the man's experience. Before I married the first time, I ruled out marrying someone who had been divorced. Having observed the victims of divorce, I look at it differently. And, being in the midst of one that I saw coming for years but was unable to prevent, I certainly view divorce differently than I did 15 years ago.



The statistics about those who divorce once being more likely to divorce again don't mean what they appear to mean. 1/2 those who divorced the 1st time were the problem-causers. Marrying a problem-causer is a good way to find more problems and, likely, a divorce.



After a few dates, I will want to know why a divorced woman I've started dating is divorced. And I expect she will want to know the same about me.



In my understanding of the Bible, if the divorce was Scripturally permissible, so is remarriage. If the divorce was NOT, then naturally, neither is remarriage.

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dunravin

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dating divorced woman
Posted : 18 Aug, 2014 12:46 AM

This is a confusing subject but reality sometimes needs to be clarified to my silly way of looking at things. Here is how I see it.

Stealing is a sin...and a crime punishable by going to jail. Do your time and get free...repent and be forgiven. The same goes for murder...sin and crime. Do your time in jail and get free. ..repent and be forgiven...The list just goes on and on....Now for the sin of murder then the Biblical punishment is stoning...and the punishments for other sin are equally as drastic....But forgiveness is forgiveness is forgiveness...there is forgiveness for all sins and crimes but not for divorce...

If you cheat on your taxes (stealing...not rendering unto Caesar) and then repent you are forgiven...and if you fall again you are forgiven again ...seventy times seven...it says that somewhere. However if you get divorced there is only punishment and more particularly amongst the brethren of the faith; there is a rush into righteous indignation, after all they do carry the big sticks of knowing God better than a mere sinner who either sinned or was sinned against. I just cannot quite fit God into such a little box, He doesn't want to be there.

So to all divorced peoples I say jump up and down and wave your knickers in the air...you are free of the condemnation and if your brother doesn't like your freedom, Bless him and walk on.

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Posted : 22 Aug, 2014 06:38 PM

angelicka25,



I don�t think any man or woman is cursed to remain single for the rest of their lives just because their marriage didn�t work out. But obviously caution is necessary if remarriage is being considered.

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insearchofmy_Eve

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Posted : 29 Aug, 2014 07:52 AM

I must say I am shocked by the replies on this thread!! I assume no one here understands Agape!! Shame on all of you self righteous hypocrites!! You strain on a gnat and swallow a camel.

Jesus said quote "Divorce was from Moses"! God is all forgiving, I do not see one place in the Holy scriptures that tells us that divorce is blasphemy! and the last I checked that is the only sin not covered under the blood of Yeshua!!!

If you want to live by the law be prepared to be judged by the law!

Angel I apologize for my brothers who were so quick to judge you, as Jesus said, your sins are forgiven (not insinuating that you have sinned) go and sin no more. In other words, I have forgiven you, believe in me and let me bear your sin.

I have met very few on here who truly understand God's Word and the beautiful balance, freedom and forgiveness it brings. You study the word of God like it is some legal document when in truth it is living and breathing!, inspired by God, yes God is Love, AGAPE, learn the word!! It holds NO RECORD OF WRONG!! NONE NOT ONE! 1st Corinthians 13. I am shocked!

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insearchofmy_Eve

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Posted : 29 Aug, 2014 08:03 AM

How do you even know that God had joined them together??? What is the marriage was like most a civil union? I'm glad you are without sin, pick up you pile of stones and throw judgement!

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Posted : 29 Aug, 2014 08:26 AM

Matthew 5:32

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.



Adultery is a sin. Sin is transgression of the law and commandments. The laws of Moses hang from the commandments to love the Lord and our neighbor.



Jesus would not have said "Adultery is a sin, but it's fine, just go and do it because the law is not valid, it's fine to sin".



We are required to forgive each other. Does that mean that intentional sin is allowed? No.



Matthew 22:37-40

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.



Is the law invalid?



Matthew 5:17

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.



Matthew 5:18

For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled



Matthew 7:12

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.



Romans 6:15

What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.



I condemned no one. I based my beliefs on the word of the Lord, which is true. And you should start taking it as truth, too.

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Posted : 29 Aug, 2014 06:15 PM

"I heard some men talking in church today about dating divorced woman and they all agreed that thats a no-go to them because theres no guarantee that they wont divorced them too since they already did it once"



No, actually I disagree with that reasoning. Just because one person divorced once doesn't mean she will do it again! But here is why I think it is wrong to marry a divorved woman: Jesus said in Matthew 5:32, "whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." We rarely think that a wedding is a bad thing, because everybody is celebrating, but according to this verse some weddings are sinful. If a guy marries a divorced woman--and it doesn't matter why she is divorced-- the guy is breaking the Ten Commandments. It is sin. It is written with red letters in the Bible. Now, I do not understand why Jesus said this. I do not know why it is wrong to marry a divorced woman, but I don't really care. If Jesus said that it is sin, then I accept that it is sin, and I am not interested in divorced women. And I would feel really bad if I knowingly broke this commandment and married someone who is divorced.

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Posted : 30 Aug, 2014 02:58 AM

"Now, I do not understand why Jesus said this."



I think it's because essentially a man and wife can argue, have disagreements and hurt each other, but by committing adultery/fornication, it is intentionally turning away from your partner and hurting them. I believe that it is a symbolic meaning about the Lord, where we can stumble and fall, but turning away from Him is turning away from salvation and choosing to die, making the relationship dead. The Lord doesn't make us choose Him. A man can't make his wife stay with him if she is a harlot, so he is allowed to divorce her. Because what's the point in being in a marriage when one partner turns away and isn't interested.



It's like 2 magnets being attracted to one another, and one magnet losing its attractive force, or becoming repellant. The other magnet cannot attach itself, no matter how strong its pull is.



Getting married after divorce is not a problem if your ex-partner was at fault. Because it was them that made the relationship dead, and the divorcement is valid. You are not sinning by taking a new partner who is committed. It is best if you forgive them and understand that not everyone is on the same path, and not take it personally.



If you were the one who was at fault, are you really going to expect another person to accept you as a life-long committed partner when you turned your back on the last person who took an oath to bond with you for the rest of their life?



It's not very nice to think about, but do you put your own happiness above the word of the Lord? An ex-partner who understands would welcome them back and forgive them, only if their heart has truly changed. If the ex-partner has moved on, you may consider staying divorced, and being happy for them is the nicest thing you can do for them.

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angelicka25

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Posted : 2 Sep, 2014 03:07 PM

Thank you for the replies...well in my case i got divorced because i got saved and couldnt deal with the lifestyle of my husband anymore...i stayed with him for 2 more years and prayed that he will change his life aswell and stop all the partying,drinking and doing drugs but he didnt and when he started to hit me i left him...i see that a lot of men on here agree with the men from my church and i respect that,but let me ask you another question,if your daughter woud be calling you at 1am and asking you if you could drive them to the hospital cause her husband broke her rib or her arm,would you still judge them and stick to the fact that divorce is a sin or would you tell your own daughter to leave him? Wish yall a blessed weekend :)

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