I have noticed that so many guys don't actually fill out their about me section of their profiles, there are so many guys that just put "if you want to know about me sent me a message." I HATE this. Just a little tip is that you guys need to start stepping up and make the move to get to know a girl. First off don't expect her to send you the first message, because as a man that is your role. And second off, give her something to work with. Girls don't find it at all attractive when they find out absolutely nothing about the guys who's profile she is looking at.
I agree with you, but it aint just the guys - it's the ladies too. If there's no meat in the profile, why would I try and contact them? Or, if there's enough meat to make me think, but not enough to make me want to express interest, I invite them over here!
Or for that matter, if there's enough to express interest, I've invited them over here too - the forums are a great way to get to know people.
And if you haven't noticed, the guys are contacting the ladies....only to receive no response. This has been the norm, but apparently the same applies to the Ladies who have tried to contact some of the guys here :-(
I can agree with that. I would never contact someone who hasn�t at least tried to fill out there profile. Even writing something brief and vague is better than �just ask me� or �I don�t know what to write here.� Even if it�s brief it still gives you something to work off for starting a conversation, asking them to explain something, getting some idea of the importance of their faith, what they�re looking for, etc.
I have not contacted many guys, but it makes it a lot easier when there is something interesting that catches your eye and makes them stand out from the rest.
I�m sure Ian is right in saying that there are women who do it too�so really your question can relate to men or women.
It looks like you filled out your profile well, Lvstigers. It may not be that someone doesn't like something anyway. It may just be they are looking for something specific that will catch their attention. It could be biblical, political or social points. There's no telling unless you contact them, which maybe they want that done.
Mornin' Lvstigers (I feel silly addressing you like that,but hey) :rolleyes:
Okay - I went and looked at your profile; first of all, Phoenyx is correct - what I look for should not be taken as textbook critique; what I'm looking for is very specific, mostly because of my ministry and stuff. For instance, I wouldn't go for a smoker - that has nothing to do with whether or not a lady is attractive to me. This is simply a compatibility issue.
Nevertheless, let me try to give some constructive critique:
You start off with: "I'm not really 'looking'..."
I stopped right there. Right off the bat, that tells me you're not interested in a romance, so I would've stopped right there, and not even read the rest of your profile! I would've kept right on rolling - "NEXT!"
There's nothing wrong with leaving in the rest of the sentence "Just testing the waters" - that's far more open to relationships then "I'm not really looking..." but gives an air of caution, which after reading your profile seems to simply be where you're at.
Am I incorrect in reading you in that regard? That you're just simply cautious?
Some "meat" that I personally look for - it's the first thing actually: where are you at spiritually? Saying you attend church regularly is a start - but there's lots of people who attend church regularly who aren't even believers in Christ.
So this does not convey your spiritual walk in any way. So where are you at exactly? Are you involved/helping in church in some way? How? Try to describe your spiritual walk - even *right near the beginning of your profile somewhere.*
The reasons for this are two-fold:
1) People can see where you're at in your spiritual walk. Even if you consider yourself a new or immature believer - so what? Say so! The fact that you even mention it tells the world that it's important to you. We're all growing, and even recognizing if you're an immature believer is not a negative at all. That invokes an impression of humility and honesty.
If your spiritual walk is not important to you, then it's already reflected in your profile because you really don't mention it. I suspect it is important to you though.
2) If your spiritual walk is important to you, then stating that up front and stating where you are in your spiritual walk also helps ward off guys that you really do not want to be involved with. They'll read about your spirituality, see that it's important to you, and if it's not important to them, it'll turn them off. This is a good thing.
I'm sure you'd agree - it's not all about just finding someone. It's finding someone good for you, and you good for them. Finding the one with whom the Lord would bless your relationship, y'know?
I like a lot of the things you wrote - honest, up front about your contentment and facing the harsh realities of life. That tells me you're a down-to-earth person. You're not naive and don't have your head in the clouds.
Is it possible to get some other photos of you doing stuff? Having fun, or doing something unusual? Maybe something with the kids? Something that conveys more about you - remembering that "a picture is worth a thousand words." You can say a lot more with pictures than you can with words in your profile....now I'm preaching to myself here - I'm going to have to go fish out some photos and post them on my profile now...:excited:
The rest, hey - you've been honest. There's nothing more you can do than be honest, and that way a guy who's interested knows what he's getting involved in, and he knows whether or not he'd be interested.
Anyway, that's my random thoughts - sorry, I didn't see your post, or I would've responded sooner.
dear folks, ladies yawl forget that we are men and men are more of doers than takers about themselves to try to catch a womans eye.. i dont think we have that talent generally .. talkin bout oneself aint easy to do..
Thank you Phoenyx, Ian & Cattleman, I do appreciate your input. It is nice to get some feed back :) Ian you gave a lot of awesome feed back.
You are correct, I'm extremely cautious. I edited my profile a bit as you suggested, thank you again. :yay:
There was no rush :) lol thank you for responding. I don't like pictures of myself so ....I'll have to see what I've got lol most are old pics, that might be a bit deceiving.
Cattleman, I understand that you may be more of a doer than a talker, I don't find it easy to talk about myself either. But in this online dating scenario it's much easier to talk than to do. :glow:
dear tiger, you make a good point. heres my view, the bible tells us not to toot our own horn so to speak.. so i and maybe alot of others feel like itd be braggin if we say much about our good qualities.. ifn we have any hehe. thats why i dont worry too much bout puttin alot on my profile.. my testimony on there tells you alot about my life.. even what i aint been so proud of.. but thats all for the glory of GOD.
thats why i like the forums so much.. thats how you can really get to know someone.. read what folks say.. what they believe. how they react and treat people. even the folks who have a different view on things..
to me a profile is just a point to say i might be interisted.. but to talk to and even watch the forums will tell one if they really are interisted in another. everyones different, so its just my opinion....
