Well, It looks like mr perfect here may have run into a snag with the lady.
I have been married almost my entire adult life and I really really really held onto my marriages, my first wife was insanely abusive for years and our marriage about drove me insane.
My second wife and I were together for almost 9 years and she left me 5 times and cheated on me 4 times, and finally left me for another guy she met online. Our marriage was really hard, she turned out to be a pagan, and was just about impossible to reason with, and still i held on until the bitter and and refused to give up.
I joined this site sometime ago (10 mos?) and since then met a gal who I hit it off with like instantaneously. I have 5 kids, she has 4, we have so much in common its insane, from our pasts, to our past relationships, to our faith and feelings about stuff. Its like a match made in heaven.
I am not somone who *dates* I court, and I made my intentions to her pretty early on that until we decided whether or not our relationship was going to end up in marriage, I was going to discontinue any current chatter with other women on here or anywhere, And I had quite a few gals who were showing some genuine interest in me at the time.
Well, sure enough we met in real life, and we were cruising along and we decided that we felt it was the lords will that we works towards marriage. Now I am a VERY intense guy, and I think some of the people on here who know me from other places, such as myspace and who read my blogs can tell you I am anything but shallow, and I treat every area of my life with serious concern, and when it comes to how I express my feelings about my lady and relationships you wont find many guys who are as serious as I am, or perhaps just vocal about it express it with great accuracy and detail.
Well, she and I spent months on end talking CONSTANTLY on the phone, day in and day out and hardly went an hour at times without a short call to say hi or check in or whatever.
She finally decided, in preparation for our being together she was going to move back home to her home state, quit her job and move in with her mom to save money and such, and we are about 4 hours closer to eachother. In the last week she has been in final preparations and has been very busy. And on my end the intensity of the discussions of marriage and the future, expectations, etc, have reached an almost feverish pitch. WE have talked ALOT about marriage and life together, so its not like I all of a sudden started saying I LOVE YOU YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME or anything all of a sudden.
I have been going through some INSANE stuff as well, with work and family, dealing with getting custody of my kids, finding out my older brother is dying of cancer, and it has all been in the last week, so we are simultaneously going through alot of changes and with her with 4 little kids and living out of a hotel and taking her son to his final baseball games before the move (at times 3 or more in a day) she hasnt been calling me.
Also earlier this week, I have not been sleeping well, so I doulbled up my ambien, (which is a new perscription i am not used to anyway) and I had taken some cold medicine too and I was on the phone with her and got really wacked out. I was telling her how much I need her and how I need her to be with me through all this stuff, she I guess I must have come off as a real dork or something. I was very stressed about money, because I, like the rest of the country right now and having financial problems which i am NOT USED TO. But since that night, I think it was wednesday, she has not been answering my calls, and when she does answer it is only for a few minutes before she hangs up, says she will call back, and never does, all night long. This is like going from black to white over night.
I am used to dealing with wacked out women (not that shes wacked out), but not in a *dating relationship* I dont know how to handle this to be honest. I finally got her on the phone for a few minutes this morning and explained to her that it must have been the combination of the drugs and stress that made me so needy and demanding the other night, and she said, OK, then the phone went dead (shes in a hotel and gets bad reception on her cell) and I havent heard from her since.
She is leaving tonight to leave kansas forever, she has lived there 2 1/2 years, and is going home to missouri now.
So tell me girls, do I just let her get through all this, get settled, back of, pray, or do I keep calling every 5 hours or so and try to get her to explain all this? WHat does this mean? I know what it would mean if I didnt call, didnt return calls, didnt answer calls, Or i think I know, but it would depend i guess. this is pretty weird after 5 months.
Well, i just heard from her finally. It is officially over. Thank you all for your love and advice and prayers. God used alot of you to help me prepare for this.
Tristan- let me start off by saying you are a very strong individual with a persistent heart. That is wonderful- may God bless you and continue to guide you through all of this. Secondly, I am so sorry to hear of your sibling's cancer. I will say a prayer.
As far as this woman goes... I read the entire letter on here word for word and it seems to me like God is protecting you from another potentially abusive relationship. If this woman loves you as you say she does...she would understand the medication story and not be so dramatic, dodging you so much. I could understand if you were considering dating and this happened... but you guys are serious and talking about marriage. If she doesn't trust you by now, I don't quite think she deserves you. That's my opinion. I advise you to not call her on the hour... you've tried. If she wants to talk, she will call back... the ball's in her court, my brother... but if I were you, I'd walk away from the game because it sounds fishy to me... I'll say a prayer that God guides you through this time of swift change and uncertainty in ALL aspects of your life including this relationship.
