Author Thread: The Rules for Christian Dating?
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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 05:27 AM

Hi everybody. i know i might sound naive asking this, LOL, but i really don't care how i may sound as long as i get the right answer.



a Christian couple is dating. what is biblically allowed to physically express affection/love to one another.

(1) no sex until marriage

(2) hugging, but no heavy petting, right?

(3) kissing, but not passionate ones, right?

(4) holding hands is acceptable



i would appreciate if anymore else can share the "rules for Christian dating."

Thank you

God Bless,

Zoe :angel:

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 07:30 AM

HI ZOE. GREAT QUESTIONS.



HUGGING - PERSONALLY, I THINK HUGGING IS OKAY, AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT CAUSE YOU TO LUST AND TO SIN IN GENERAL, AFTERALL WE HUG FAMILY. JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE, I THINK, QUICK HUGS WILL DO. Matthew 5:30 states that if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.



KISSING �THE BIBLE DOES NOT SPECIFICALLY STATE THAT KISSING IS WRONG, HOWEVER, KISSING IN MY VIEW, WHETHER IT IS PASSIONATE OR SOFT, IS A FORM OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE, WHICH THE BIBLE CLEARLY STATES IS WRONG. SEXUAL, MEANING TO BE, OF OR RELATING TO OR CHARACTERIZED BY SEXUALITY. IMMORALITY, MEANING, THE QUALITY OF NOT BEING IN ACCORD WITH STANDARDS OF RIGHT OR GOOD CONDUCT. LOOKING AT A WOMAN OR MAN LUSTFULLY IS ADULTERY, WHETHER THEY ARE MARRIED OR NOT, SO KISSING, HOWEVER PASSIONATE, IS LIKE JUMPING OFF A CLIFF.



1 THESSALONIANS 4:3-5 - For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God



MATTHEW 5:28 - But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart



1 CORINTHIANS 6:18 - Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body



1 CORINTHIANS 6:19 -Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own



1 CORINTHIANS 6:20 -you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body



HOLDING HANDS- PERSONALLY, I THINK THE HOLDING OF HANDS IS OK, AS LONG AS THE TWO HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE GO AHEAD BY GOD TO GET MARRIED. AS THE WORD SAYS IN Matthew 19: 5, that, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh� . SO THEREFORE, IF GOD HAS NOT ALREADY GIVEN THE GO AHEAD, THE TWO ARE THEREFORE NOT ONE FLESH AND THEREFORE SHOULD NOT REALLY BE HOLDING HANDS SIMPLY BECAUSE THE PERSON THEY ARE HOLDING, COULD POSSIBLE BE FOR SOMEONE ELSE. .



IN CONCLUSION, I LEAVE U WITH,



1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.



I HOPE I HAVE TRIED TO ANSWER A TOUGH TACKLING SET OF QUESTIONS. LOL.

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 09:15 AM

thank you kidd, you did an awesome job answering my questions. thank you so much. May the Lord continue to bless you in every way.

God Bless,

Zoe :angel:

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 09:25 AM

THANKS ZOE

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Phoenyx

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 10:21 AM

(1) Pretty simple answer, no sex before marriage.

(2) The first poster answered this well.

(3) I think back in the days of Jesus, kissing on the lips was commonplace, like a greeting. Usually I only see sound as a greeting or reassurance, so it could be kept to that.

(4) The first poster had a good response to this, but I don't know. The most I ever thought about it was lacing the fingers was more intimate than cupping the palms. The few guys I did consider boyfriends/beaus were the firsts to ask/suggest it because it was not really on my mind. I think the only time I initiated it was in protection; I have one friend who can be a bit harsh on boyfriends of her friends, so hooking arms was my way of saying to be kind to him.

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 10:37 AM

thank you phoenyx. i appreciate your response.

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 03:55 PM

dear zoe,

your words here

a Christian couple is dating. what is biblically allowed to physically express affection/love to one another.

(1) no sex until marriage

(2) hugging, but no heavy petting, right?

(3) kissing, but not passionate ones, right?

(4) holding hands is acceptable



mine here

number 1 is no way no shape nor form..

number 2 a hug would be ok id say.. not a long llustful hug. that would have to be your own judgement call. if it makes you have impure thoughts then dont hug that way again..

and no heavy petting or medium pettin nor light petting pettin is a no no.

number 3

1 peter 5:14 Greet one another with a kiss of love.

Peace to you all who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.



1 corinthians 16:20 All the brethren greet you. Greet one another with a holy kiss.



as we can see there we are told to greet one another with a holy kiss. and a kiss of love.

so its ok to greet with a kiss. as for the rest thats a judgement call youll each have to make. does it make you have impure thoughts ? does it make you stumble? when you kiss your man or woman? whichever may be your case. if it causes you to do the above then its wrong. and youll prolly feel guilt as the HOLY SPIRIT convicts you.. youll need to not kiss like that anymore and repent..

as for me im a kisser from way back hehe so i have to be careful .. cause i know i am gonna kiss. just got to keep it to a kiss of love and not lust..

number 4 the same anser as above. if it causes you to stumble dont do it..



and one other point.. ya gotta concider your bf or gf too. is it makin them stumble as well? if so then you are sposed to stop and not cause them to stumble anymore. cause youre responsible for them too in your relations..



in the words of GOD by way of paul..

1 corinthians 7:8-9 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.



ole cattle

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FalSmiles

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 05:10 PM

*nods in agreement with Ole Cattle

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 18 Jul, 2009 05:12 PM

wow, thank you cattle. I don't what i'm going to do, because i love to hug, kiss, and hold hands when in love. i'm gonna need to work on these before getting involved with someone. Lord, please give me the strength to fight the desires of my flesh. Amen.

God Bless,

Zoe :angel:

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 19 Jul, 2009 02:27 AM

NO OFFENCE TO YOU FRIENDS, BUT I HOPE U ALL DO NOT MIND ME CONTINUING THE RULES OF CHRISTIAN DATING DISCUSSION.



FIRSTLY, THE COMMENTS THAT I MADE REGARDING KISSING, WERE SPECIFICALLY BASED ON THE KISSING OF LIPS. I FIND IT EXTRMELY HARD TO BELIEVE THAT ANYONE OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE CAN HONESTLY KISS ANOTHER ON THE LIPS, OF WHOM GOD HAS NOT GIVEN THE ALL CLEAR TO, IN A HOLY MANNER, WITHOUT FEELING IMMORAL.



CATTLE, I FULLY RESPECT THE VERSES THAT YOU PROVIDED, HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THOSE VERSES WERE REFERING TO THE KISSING OF CHEEKS ONLY, WHICH IS TOTALLY DIFFRENT FROM THE KISSING OF LIPS. ALTHOUGH, YOUR VERSES DO NOT SPECIFICALLY MENTION WHAT TYPE OR MANNER OF KISS, I FIND IT VERY HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THE VERSES YOU GAVE, IMPLY US AS CHRISTIANS TO GO AROUND KISSING EVERYONE ON THE LIPS BECAUSE OF SEXUALLY IMMORAL FACTORS AND OF COURSE, DUE TO MARITAL FACTORS.



I BELIEVE THAT ZOE WAS REFERRING TO, WHETHER OR NOT THE KISSING OF LIPS, PRIOR TO MARRIAGE, IS RIGHT OR WRONG, FOR THIS REASON, I POSTED MY INITIAL MESSAGE.



I MUST SAY THAT, I�M NOT TRYING TO DISMISS YOUR COMMENTS OR ANYONE ELSES, I AM ONLY TRYING TO LEARN FROM ALL OF YOU, SO, I�M SORRY IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANYONE AND PLEASE KEEP YOUR VIEWS COMING.

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The Rules for Christian Dating?
Posted : 19 Jul, 2009 05:11 AM

yes, i was referring to kissing on the lips.

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