Author Thread: The approach.
GI_Nate

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The approach.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 04:18 PM

So I have been on the site for a while. One problem I have run into is what to say when I am first messaging a girl. I've tried a little summary of what I am looking for, just a "Hi, how are you?" and everything in between. What are you girls looking for in a first message?

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The approach.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 06:58 PM

friendly.. well mannered.. maybe ask us something about ourself..



GBU

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tristan07

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The approach.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 07:20 PM

write them a 40 page essay about your mom bro, that's what every girl wants to hear - about the possible mother-in-law

MuaHhahHah

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The approach.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 07:36 PM

Something nice and just a lil about yourself.. its also nice if you ask about something about the girl.. its nice when the other person is actually interested

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The approach.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 08:23 PM

dear g i and ash, welcome to the forums..

ole cattle

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The approach.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 08:34 PM

The first message is usually where I personally accept or eliminate people, because I think it tells a LOT about a person. The following things get a "polite 'I don't think we'd make a good match'" from me.



Messages summarizing what he wants in a woman; that comes off as presumptuous and selfish.

He tells me how I fit into his idea of what he wants. (I love redheads, you're my type)

Starts with telling me how hot/cute/beautiful I am... and stops there. I know he doesn't know me except for my picture, but come on.

Barrages me with a list of questions like an interview.



I have said before that a lot of people here seem to have an attitude that they are shopping, and anything in a message that indicates that is a big put-off for me.

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The approach.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 09:56 PM

best opener?



'hi, i'm bill gates.'

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Phoebe2

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The approach.
Posted : 21 Aug, 2009 02:15 AM

Try to keep it short , sweet, and simple . Any extremes freak out !

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The approach.
Posted : 21 Aug, 2009 03:55 AM

I agree with the 'short n sweet' approach...also helps if you ask us something so we have something to say in response...more details about something on our profile, or where we live...just try to make it easy conversation like you would if you met us in person...

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AfterGodsheart1234

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The approach.
Posted : 21 Aug, 2009 03:27 PM

Show interest in her...There is nothing more attractive than a man who shows that he is interested in you and why. What is it that made her sparkle with her profile above the rest? I have always had a self-policy. You think something special about someone... then tell them. You may make their day, month, year or lifetime a better one. They will always remember the compliment no matter what happens in the end. Hope this helps!

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godlymom2

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The approach.
Posted : 21 Aug, 2009 03:59 PM

Show genuine interest! Say/ask something that says you actually read her profile and are interested in who she is. I agree that short and sweet is a good idea....not a 40 page essay about your mom! (Really funny, Alex.)



~~KT

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