Author Thread: When people say they need money
cedwards105

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When people say they need money
Posted : 14 Feb, 2023 08:31 AM

I recently met someone from the Philippines who tells me that she is about to be evicted from her apartment and will be homeless unless she gets $500. Obviously, I'm not going to send her money. But what should we do in these situations? What if the person is actually in need? Is there an organization that we can direct them to where they can get help if it is actually needed? Or should we just block them and move on, hoping that they didn't really need help?

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FDCWillard^

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When people say they need money
Posted : 14 Feb, 2023 09:15 AM

Smells like a scammer.... just ignore it.

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LittleDavid

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When people say they need money
Posted : 16 Feb, 2023 03:27 AM

Good points.

Things to consider.

Why is she out of money?

Is she living beyond her means?

Has she sought assistance from sources closer to home?



But then of course, is the person honest?

Maybe she’s living quite well as a scammer

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NotSettlingYet^

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When people say they need money
Posted : 18 Feb, 2023 10:20 AM

In the Phillipines there isn't any social security, so if she is out of money she surely will be evicted.. I believe most women in that scenario would have to go to stay with some relatives for a period of time until they get back on their feet. For some this means moving far away from where they might work, so that they lose their job. For others they are truly very vulnerable and will end up homeless and desperate because they have nowhere to go. I believe this is the scenario scamming women will present if asked about their circumstances. I just avoid sending money but if you migt like her, you can surely stay in touch and try to be an emotional support through everything.... Maybe she could sell some of her belongings (or her smart phone) to pay the 500. Suggesting these things might stir up the anger if she is truly a scammer, and she might then leave you since she understands that she won't get the money.

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cedwards105

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When people say they need money
Posted : 26 Feb, 2023 09:25 PM

That seemed to be the scenario. Nobody can help her, local Churches turn her away, etc. We hadn't really talked much, so I suggested she talk with some pastors and try the Salvation Army (which they do have in The Philippines), and then blocked her and explained why I was blocking her. In my experience, a large proportion of the women that I match with on dating sites appear to be bots or scammers. I feel like these people have almost ruined online dating... half the time I don't even know if I'm talking to a real person.



But it troubles me, because what if someone is actually in need? I don't know for sure that this lady wasn't actually desperate.

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LittleDavid

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When people say they need money
Posted : 27 Feb, 2023 08:18 AM

Be interesting to know why “local churches turn her away”. I know from experience, in our country, we have lazy rovers who hate the concept of working for a living but don’t mind walking or driving from church to church soliciting money that the church has set aside to help the truly unfortunate.

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LittleDavid

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When people say they need money
Posted : 27 Feb, 2023 08:27 AM

If that is the case with this person, not saying it is. But if that is the case, a church acts responsibly if it refuses to aid an able bodied person who refuses to work.

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LittleDavid

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When people say they need money
Posted : 27 Feb, 2023 08:28 AM

If that is the case with this person, not saying it is. But if that is the case, a church acts responsibly if it refuses to aid an able bodied person who refuses to work.

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Alligator

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When people say they need money
Posted : 23 Mar, 2023 07:54 PM

Please don't get hooked into the guilt trip. There are all kinds of menial labor jobs from gardening to sweeping floors. Of course one hopes for better, but my father taught me there is always a LEGAL way to make enough money for a night's rest and a sandwich. There are several organizations in the Phillipines that help women with all sorts of difficulties, included keeping them safe if abused. Tell her to look up the women's help organizations and please, do not feel guilty - many men and women COUNT on that from the rest of us.

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Procreate^

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When people say they need money
Posted : 4 Apr, 2023 06:00 PM

Move on, but pray for her.

You cannot validate what she says.

It is like the parable where the man treats all the workers the same and some became jealous to which he replied, "Do I not have the right to do what I want with my money." Jesus said that the poor you will always have among you. You cannot help them all. In the U.S., you can buy someone a meal. If they ask for money, they may use it for vices. They may use it for alcohol or drugs. They claim they do not have food, you can buy them a meal and witness to them or buy them groceries. But how do you know what this woman will do with the money you send her? You cannot approach it in a sensible way that guarantees that the funds will be used for said purpose and there is not an end to it. Better to give to a ministry that serves the poor.

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DL1983^

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When people say they need money
Posted : 13 Sep, 2023 07:34 AM

Needs money badly, but can afford to buy data to use internet lol..

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