Author Thread: Humor
Happy2222

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Posted : 13 Oct, 2009 08:53 PM

A Catholic girl and a Jewish boy were very much in love, but it appeared the match wouldn't make it because of their religious difference. The girl was very unhappy, and weepingly discussed her plight with her father.

"Why don't you sell him on Catholicism," suggested the dad. "Tell him all the wonderful things about our religion. Perhaps he'll change his mind."

Weeks later, the girl had what she presumed would be her last date with the Jewish boy. When she came home, her dad was sitting up waiting for her. The girl, sobbing, tried to go to her room without even speaking to her dad.

He stopped her, 'Just a minute, dear. What happened? Couldn't you sell him on Catholicism?"

Oh, you and your stupid suggestions," she snapped between sobs, I oversold him. Now he wants to become a Catholic priest."

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Happy2222

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Posted : 15 Oct, 2009 05:24 PM

A drunk who smelled like wiskey got on the train and sat across from the priest and started reading his paper. After a few mimutes he looked up and asked,"Say Father, what causes arthritus?"

The priest replied,"My son, it is caused by loose living,bad wiskey and being with cheap, wicked women"

The drunk said,"I was wondering because it says in the newspaper that the Pope has arthritus"

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Happy2222

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Posted : 16 Oct, 2009 11:55 AM

The wealthy man gathered his large family for a reunion and as they sat down at the table to eat he stated "It is hard to believe I don't have a grandchild to rock on my knee. To the first one who is able to produce one ,I will give one million dollars."

He then said the blessing over the food and when he opened his eyes, only his wife was still at the table.

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Posted : 16 Oct, 2009 10:22 PM

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.



He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'



'Just water,' says the priest.



The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'



The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

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Happy2222

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Posted : 17 Oct, 2009 04:27 AM

I don't know if I told you about my problem.



I wanted to put a skylight in my apartment and the people upstairs said NO.

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Posted : 17 Oct, 2009 12:22 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!



:ROFL:

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Posted : 17 Oct, 2009 12:36 PM

Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?

No, you can have turkey like everyone else.

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Happy2222

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Posted : 17 Oct, 2009 05:03 PM

The couple had nine children and decided not to have anymore because they heard that one out every ten children that were born was Mexican and they didn't know how to speak Spanish.

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Posted : 18 Oct, 2009 12:19 AM

�OH, que chistoso! :applause:

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Happy2222

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Posted : 18 Oct, 2009 05:31 AM

Little boy was looking up at all the names on the wall and the preacher came up behind him and said, "those are the names of all the people who died in the service.'

The little boys eyes got real big and he said, "was it the 9 o'clock or the 11 o'clock service"

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Happy2222

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Posted : 19 Oct, 2009 05:53 AM

The dollar bill and the one hundred dollar bill were on the conveyor belt, on their way to be destroyed.

The dollar bill asked, How was your life."

The one hundred dollar bill replied, "It was great. I went to the best resturants. Went around the world three times. How was your life?"

The dollar bill said,"I went to the Baptist Church and the Methodist Church!"

The one hundred dollar bill said,"Church? What ia a Church?

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