A Catholic girl and a Jewish boy were very much in love, but it appeared the match wouldn't make it because of their religious difference. The girl was very unhappy, and weepingly discussed her plight with her father.
"Why don't you sell him on Catholicism," suggested the dad. "Tell him all the wonderful things about our religion. Perhaps he'll change his mind."
Weeks later, the girl had what she presumed would be her last date with the Jewish boy. When she came home, her dad was sitting up waiting for her. The girl, sobbing, tried to go to her room without even speaking to her dad.
He stopped her, 'Just a minute, dear. What happened? Couldn't you sell him on Catholicism?"
Oh, you and your stupid suggestions," she snapped between sobs, I oversold him. Now he wants to become a Catholic priest."
Several women went out to lunch to celebrate the birthday of their oldest friend. When the waitress came to take their order, one of the women said to her, "This is a vry special occasion. It's Ellie's ninety-second birthday."
The waitress made several instant enemies and one fast friend when she asked, "Which one of you is Ellie?"
There was a sergeant who decided to mentally prepare one of his soldier for battle. The conversation went something like this:
Sergeant: "Alright private suppose you've got 3 enemy soldiers coming towards you. What do you do?" The private replied: "I will shoot them with my rifle"
Sergeant: "Okay, suppose you have 50 enemy soldiers coming at you. What would you do then?" The private replied: "I will shoot them with my rifle."
Sergeant goes on: "Well, suppose you had 100 enemy soldiers coming to attack. What would you do then?" Private: "I will shoot them all with my rifle." The sergeant then looking astonished after hearing the private's calm responses decided to finally ask: "Soldier, just where exactly are you getting all of your ammunition from?" The private calmly replied: "The same place you were getting all those enemy soldiers."
