I noticed a lot of the same folks here and figured this would be a good topic for discussion too.
for me i'm very out of touch with my own generation and simply don't fit in. Almost everyone my age relies on snap chat, instagram or facebook to talk and the idea of talking in person is often seen as an alien concept. I don't have TV, I don't fallow the latest trend, no drinking, no drugs, no parting... add being a dedicated christian to the mix and it becomes even harder to find someone I'm compatible with. And most no one my age wants a real relationship, just hook ups, FWB 🤮 or just friends. The few times I find someone looking for the same things we find out they can't handle my minimalist life style.
So yeah, my way of life and wanting a real dedicated relationship isn't common in my generation unfortunately.
what about you? why do you feel your single despite looking?
Well if a man is so broken he cannot face commitment there is nothing you can do about that... there might be something else going on behind the scenes though. Speaking for myself I have gotten into relationships of desperation and realized I was doing something wrong by being in them and had to leave. Now I know better when I am being selfish and don't really love the way I should because I can't because it's just not compatible... Before I would have tried to force through.
Know thyself is not always so easy.
It is true yes that it just does not work if a woman is too acomadadating, if nothing else the man notices the dishonesty and thinks she's trying to scam him. There is an art to courtship that woman just like men just are never taught the way they were in the past and now it seems half of everyone gets discouraged by trial and error.
Half the trick that no one wants to accept is if both participants are honest about it, they have a high level of real compatibility and they are highly attracted to one another... Nothing romantic happens they just feel a spontaneous urge to get married unless one or both of them has something blocking it such as fear. People nowadays want to completely ignore the practical and carnal aspects.
There is this joke. Dating after 30 means either fat woman, single mothers or forever lonely.... pick one.
The converse would be something like dating after 30 means small skinny men, minimum wage earners or lonely forever.
The lesson being all the ones you wanted have been taken so be realistic and be less picky. It's particularly problematic for woman being stupid enough to be single mothers and men that never managed to make it as men because it's highly unlikely the single mothers would want men who won't be able to support their children.... Meaning a lot of men avoid single mothers specifically because they know they will be rejected not because they are necessarily unwilling.
On the other hand no one finds either fat or skinny people particularly attractive with exceptions applying. I am due to a medical condition I have figured out permanently under weight, it's often that I have almost felt interest evaporating once a woman realizes this. Conversely I am irrationally repelled by obesity making me an obvious hypocrite... but at the same time I have no problem with slightly plump... Friend don't allow friends to let their chins have chins.
Woman have it easier than men in one way, men being attracted to younger woman, once you hit 40 look for a man a decade or two older, not only will he jump at the interest he will brag about the age disparity. The only way a 40 year old man nabs a woman a decade or so younger is if he has MONEY.
Either way, if after half a century certain standards have not worked... is it not the standards that are in error? Just don't be desperate while changing standards is the rule of thumb.... he says as if desperation is easy to reign in.
Speaking of SA specifically, the tendencies are actually all over the place roughly divide by race and class in a complex mirage of meaning. The best indicator is the lower class you are the more likely you are to create children out of wedlock and the higher class you are the more likely you are to focus of "career" meaning men marry faster than woman like in the West and if they do the whiter they are the less children they have.
Going by race specifically there are stereotypes but it's not worth going into.
The chief cancer comes from Marxism of some kind be it Western cultural Marxism or African Marxism.
Yes, single motherhood is common today.. and still, many single women find love and marriage. They are no less worthy of love just because they have kids.. but women without kids are worth loving, too - even though we don't have kids to prove our feminine skills.
And not everyone is looking for money.. the ability to love is what matters.
(I have had relatively wealthy men to approach me, irl and on line, and I was not interested as there was no compatibility in faith or personality-wise.. I am not looking for a sugar daddy)
I for one know to cook, bake, clean, do gardening etc.. and a host of other 'traditional' skills, as well as other interests.
All that is not an automatic way to attract someone.
Very true that things cannot be forced, thst's why all the talk about women being 'picky' is just so laughable. Many women would be happy to try a relstionship, but we cannot - and should not - try to force or manipulate men into it.
Mutual attraction does not guarantee that it leads to a connection, if one or both get petrified by the very idea of saying 'hi'..
Attraction can be toxic too, and stem from a wound or dysfunction that is not healed yet.. and the pattern would continue in any relationship if the person(s) do not realize it.
Thankfully, God has blessed my life with some wonderful Christian brothers, who know how to treat their sisters in Christ.. happily married family men, who arent' looking for concubines or side chicks, but can be there as support and encouragement. They give me hope there are some godly men still.
This may sound very simplistic, but if / when you come across a lady you like, how about just approaching her and asking 'I really am interested to know you better, would you pray about it?'
That isn't creepy or distespectful.
The happiest Christian couples I know, got married after a relatively short period of knowing each other.
It was the guy who approached the woman, expressing his serious intentions. No games to get her attention.
Moonlight, if you are happy with a non believer that is of course your right. There is nothing Christian about that; it's contrary to all the articles you have been posting here to teach and warn others..
