A few years ago I had the chance to buy the house my grandfather grew up in. my grandfather was really the only family I had, the rest ether hatted me for my faith or I never met.
I bought the house part way because I didn't get to have anything belonging to my grandfather and got to watch what little family I had sell and trash what little he had. the other reason was that it's a very large house, 7 bedrooms 4 baths, two kitchens, two living room and 1 large dining hall. Also full size unfinished basement and a upstairs section that are both dying to be made into something, and a massive yard too, all in a very quiet small town.
I wanted to raise a family in the house but I come to realize thar after 10 years of trying to find someone and not even being able to get a single date let alone a friendly conversation with any girl my age that i'll never have a family. sadly women my age here have always avoided me and never wanted anything to do with me.
Everyday I come home it makes me kinda sad to see the house completely empty. it constantly reminds me of how i'll never have a family and what little family I had is long gone or was abusive. I feel like I should sell it and buy something smaller for my own emotional well being. But I don't know if I could ever forgive myself if I sold the only thing I have left of the only family I ever had.
I know the feeling. I tried to acquire an old farm house my family lived in when I was a preteen.
I went to the owner and ask about the house but he didn’t give me an answer. Next time I visited the farm the house had been burned to the ground‼️‼️😥😢😭
The place had lots of memories. I could visualize my dad and mom there and some family members as they were back then. But it got so depressing and my heart was so heavy I had to leave. Most of my family have passed on.
I never did find out why the house burned up. I don’t know if it had anything to do with my asking. All I know is, the man and my father shared some harsh differences
I wonder if you might be as picky as I am in marriage.
For instance: I can find women who want to marry but I cannot seem to find a woman who is theologically sound OR one who is not compromised by post-modernism or modernism or charismania OR some other RIDICULES anti-logical anti-biblical paradigm OR even one who is remotely teachable.
For the first example: I had a really nice woman who wanted to marry but she was in the habit of exposing frontal cleavage and she sported a lesbian haircut (ie really short). I generally hate short hair on women anyway but hers was really bad. Why some women wanna look like medieval page boys or style their like American’s founding fathers ie George Washington continues to amaze.
But anyway, even after I politely expressed my convictions, to this woman, she not only continued with the same O-chopped up hair style but also continued her fore-mentioned indecent exposure.
I read her response as “interested but not seriously interested”. Obviously not my type.
Example 2: Another woman, with beautiful long and gorgeously famine black hair, who seriously wanted to marry faulted some of my beliefs. Nothing wrong with her doing that—I welcome questions and challenges regarding my beliefs. However, her religious beliefs did not align with the original intent of the scripture that her teacher sited. So I asked her if I could explain why I could not exegetically adopt her or her preachers view. Her response: refusal to hear me out‼️ Mind you, she seriously wanted to marry me‼️‼️ But why would a woman want to marry a man she doesn’t trust theologically and won’t EVEN hear why he believes the way he does‼️‼️ NOT MY TYPE‼️‼️
My only experience is being ignored and rejected outright. I'm never given a chance whatsoever and I'm luckily to get a hello back from any girl my age. I went to a speed dating event once, everyone skipped my table... blind dates no show, and I sent messages to everyone on this site and a few others in the whole USA ages 20~35 and only scammers and trolls replied.
tbh I'm likely the least picky person you'd meet. I would have settled for anyone who I get along with who wants a family and is a christian and likes me for who I am.
I couldn't care less about ones looks or hair, to me those things aren't important.
@moonlight
Thanks. But I'm not sure if I'd call myself smart or intelligent, If I am it's never helped me. I am rather well off in life, but that's just from hard work and pulling lots of OT when I was younger and investing every cent I had. And yes I'm told I'm very attractive and when I do post my photo online I get a lot of attention but for the wrong reasons. I got tired of the lewd texts so I removed them.
