Chances are they are not Christians, we leave all the judging up to the Lord.
as for the people who judge I couldnt tell you. some are jealous and the only way for them to feel better is to put that person they are jealous of down. I know they Dont know any better, because they do not know the Lord.
Now im not saying Good true Christians dont judge, because we all have and do but the difference is that we know its wrong and try to ignore it. And we have that little Voice "Holy spirit" telling us its wrong and not to do it.
I have learned through past experiences in my life that Christians need to judge ones who they are interested in! I wish that I had judged the last 2 men I was married to:stop: God is the ultimate judge, but I believe that He wants us to look for Christian qualities (fruits of the Spirit) in those we are interested in. If very few or none of the fruits are apparent, then we need to find someone else who does have the qualities. We need to date the person long enough to see him/her demonstrate the Christian Fruits of the Spirit:
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.:angel:
This is a good question and should bring to thought good reasoning. I think perhaps for the most of us, we're using good 'discernment' and not bad judgement. We are not called to judge but use our GOD given talents to be able to know the difference between Mother Theresa and Adolf Hitler. It's our freedom to choose that we should use 'discernment' especially in the ones we want to be completely committed to.
I pray this shines some GODLY light on your question and may GOD bless your search.
We are not called to judge, but be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. But, sometimes when you have a sense something isn't quite right, you need to listen. There are some people who just can't take the truth if you tell it to them! Stay away! We all need to hear the truth, but also need to remember that we just may need to correct something in our lives. People are really hard to read sometimes, but the Holy Spirit will let you know, and when that revelation comes to you, LISTEN! It is not judging to be sensitive to His leading! Be Blessed!
Although I'd agree with the fact we are not to judge, do not forget we are also creatures of dirt. We all fall short of the glory of God and we all fail. That being said, thank God for Grace to overcome that. Now, to address you wishing you had "judged" the last two men... let me say this. Appeal to the Holy Spirit and to your Father. He will never lead you astray nor will he abandond you. Remember He has no plans for ill but only for your benifit. If God wants you to be with someone He will move you through the Holy Spirit and, this is important, MAKE IT OBVIOUS by making sure the man passes scriptural tests for marriage.
Jesus said, "Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment." John 7:24
Have you heard the phrase, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." ? Saying, "You are a bad person" is bad judging. Saying, "You did/do a bad thing." is righteous judgment. "You will know them by their fruits."
"Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them." Romans 16:17
If people don't believe in Christ or, even if they do but don't follow the truth, we are to avoid them. In fact, in 1Corinthians 5:9-14 Paul says that it is okay to have dealings with non-Christians who are fornicators. But if they say they are Christians, then we are not even to share a meal with them.
And, of course, the famous:
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" 2Corinthians 6:14
Looking for a marriage partner requires very careful judging of fruits. If I don't choose you, I haven't rejected you, we can still be the best of friends. But I can only marry one person. If I want my marriage to last that person MUST believe very much like I do, we MUST attend the same church and we MUST do some ministry together.
I don't look at selecting a Christian mate as judging. I see it as using your God-given wisdom to see what you have in common, interests, ministries, goals/dreams, your chemistry. Can you see yourself sitting across the table, eating your post toasties with this person for the rest of your life? There had better be a lot of "liking each other" going on in the relationship besides your spiritual walk.
To that end, I mean enjoying each other and being able to lift up each other's spirit is very important in order to do ministry together - once you find out you have spiritual things in common. If you are looking for your spiritual twin, you might be looking a long time. You may inspire or be the catalyst for your mate, or vice a versa. Since divorce inside the church is just as prevalent as outside, I think there are other things needed to gel the relationship and not just the fact that you're both committed to the same church and worship style.
I like what Dr. James Dobson says, "Before marriage, keep your eyes wide open. After marriage, keep them half-shut." Meaning, none of us is perfect and you both may have to bend a little. Once you find someone, use the grace you would want someone to use on you and watch the fruit grow.
