Author Thread: I am a little frightened
hubbarddebra99

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I am a little frightened
Posted : 30 Sep, 2010 11:13 AM

yesterday am guy IMed me. I don't know a lot about IM, but we talked. He seems pleasant enough.

However, he seems too eager to get my personal e-mail, (I did Not give it) and is already talking about meeting! (oh, no no, not yet)

I honestly don't think he's a scammer, or a bad person; just really lonely. However, it is creeping me out!!!!!!!!!!!! Plus, I honestly DON"T think I like him that way.

I am VERY new at this, please help me out! I don't wanta hurt his feelings, but I'm more and more not attracted!

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bcpianogal

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I am a little frightened
Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 03:45 PM

How did my meetings go?

I actually dated one of the guys for 3 months. That would be the guy I met after only 16 days of online communication. He seemed great, but things got kinda weird right before he broke up with me...mostly having to do with his mom and some things she said and did. I never felt that he was dangerous, though. (You can read the more complete version under the "worst dates" topic!)

The other guy I met was better in person than he was online. Of course, we'd been talking for a year, but still...meeting him was amazing!!! The two hours we were able to spend together probably rank right up there in the top 10 experiences of my life. We are still good friends, but we've never dated...I'd like to think the distance has a lot to do with that, but I think the reality is that he's just not interested in me other than as a friend.



I nearly met another guy over the summer as well. We'd been talking for a couple months, and there was a possibility that we were going to be in the same city one weekend. He wanted to know if I'd like to get together for lunch one day, if his plans worked out. I made it clear that I wasn't interested in dating him, but that I'd be happy to meet him just as a friend, and he said that was fine. Unfortunately, his plans changed, and he wasn't able to come.

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I am a little frightened
Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 06:37 PM

Go with your gut instinct. If something is telling you no, dont do it. If he feels you are worth waiting for, he will wait. Good luck and God bless dear.

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sherrys

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I am a little frightened
Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 12:15 PM

Hi my name is Sherry. I am just a girl who was on this site like many others. I came across a gentleman who was incredibly nice and we developed a friendship. He has a criminal record that is very lengthy. Online dating is risky and this recent thing reminded me of that. I found a site to check criminal records and is very thorough if you are interested let me know.



Most sites costs like $30 a month I am willing to check information for you for $1.00 a name to my paypal. I am not a business just a person trying to help other christian women. Contact me if you are interested? I will run as many criminal checks, address checks, etc... as you want for a $1.00 a name just for my time and such. THANKS!



Sherry Scheline

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I am a little frightened
Posted : 19 Nov, 2010 03:28 AM

To be honest, Debra, this whole being single and dating thing is a little scary.



I have to agree with the overall consensus here. Don't let a guy rush you. You do need time to chat, email, IM; whatever it takes, to get to know someone. I've had those instances where a fella wanted my email address right away. I simply tell him that I'm not comfortable giving out my personal information until I get to know him better. More often than not, they respect that. They respect me for being cautious. I think your smart enough to know when the time is right to hand out your personal information.



Ultimately, if you've invested enough time into an online relationship you'll want to meet him face to face. After all, that's what we're here for, right? (I think someone else asked that same question). Allowing yourself ample time to get to know him online will help make that first meet and greet less nervous. By that time, you've pretty much become friends and that is always the best place to start.



Best of luck to you in your endeavors to find what you are hoping for. Just remember to put it in God's hands. He will never lead you astray!

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I am a little frightened
Posted : 2 Dec, 2010 01:53 AM

I agree with those who say be cautious and take your time. Be wary of someone who is really eager to know your contact info whether it be email, phone, etc. In the interest of protecting yourself if things seem rushed to the point where you are not comfortable then by all means tell the person. Their response will give you some clues as to the intentions. If the response is continued persistence don't walk run. If the response is a understanding and sincere apology and the person backs off out of respect and or explains why they are so quick then that I think eases that tension. But, wary of someone who won't take no for an answer or will keep pressing. Patience is a key ingredient to a healthy relationship.



From a guy's perspective I know that there have been times where I lost someone because I moved too slow, and I have lost out in other cases where I moved to quickly, finding that happy medium isn't always easy for us guys. Now what I have learned in my years and by no means do I claim to be an expert, but what I have found is to not worry about the pace of getting to know someone, let it take as long or as short an amount of time as necessary, learn to read and pay attention to the other person and if things are moving too quickly the signs will be there. As the saying goes take the time to smell the roses. Enjoy the process of getting to know the person.



I'm fairly new to online dating sites like this. I joined this site on April 1st believe it or not lol. As you can see in my profile pic and from the note in my profile that I have met someone on here. Our first communication was an IM back in May and we chatted a while in IM on this site before exchanging Yahoo ID's partly cause we were having a good chat and partly because, and no offense, but the IM on here is well... quirky. Yahoo is much easier to IM with. But we IM'd for awhile before exchanging phone numbers, and started texting, and then talking on the phone. We took our time getting to know each other through the various forms of communication A couple weekends ago we decided to meet in person spent a day and a half together that exceeded my expectations. She was the same in person as she was online. Emails, IM's, chat, forums, Texting, and phone are all great but there's no comparison to meeting in person. Now in our case we had communicated online and on the phone for roughly 6/7 months before meeting in person.. For us the pace was perfect we both wanted to take our time and not rush. We are going to see each other again next month. There are many positive signs but we are content to take our time and build that relationship which is now stronger than it was before we met.



Long story short things should never proceed at a pace that either of you is uncomfortable with. If it feels rushed put on the brakes and if the other person doesn't like that then that's a good indication that it's not meant to be.

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Godsgirl357

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I am a little frightened
Posted : 4 Dec, 2010 11:02 AM

OMG! I thought I was the only one who felt that way, thanks for posting!

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Godsgirl357

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I am a little frightened
Posted : 4 Dec, 2010 11:02 AM

OMG! I thought I was the only one who felt that way, thanks for posting!

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