I've been blessed with several friends who walked out of the homosexual lifestyle. One man, Chris, shared with me how he came to the conclusion that he was "born gay." I saw it clear as day - I could see how he came to that conclusion.
He's obviously very understanding to other gays, yet he'll be the first to tell you that no, gays aren't born that way.
Nevertheless, you hit the nail on the head. The sexuality issue is a side issue. We're ALL enemies of God, fallen people in a fallen world, with all kinds of sins - some more open and exposed than others. We all need Jesus, and SIN (whether homosexuality, or lying) is the problem, Jesus is the answer.
Hey proverbslady; if you're interested, drop me a line - I know yer not an axe murderer (you aren't, are you?) and if you're interested, I'll give you a link to some videos on the subject. I can't email you because I'm outside of your age range, but I can reply to you.
First, your last question: I don't care who moves first, as long as SOMEbody does SOMEthing! If you're interested in a guy; hey - let him know. Just be aware that sometimes a dropped hanky isn't picked up, not because the guy isn't interested, but because sometimes even geniuses are clueless :laugh:
There's nothing wrong with being forward, and in fact for me, it earns my respect!
Timelines are tricky. Introducing myself totally depends on the circumstances. And what do I have to go on? Looks? That's not a lot to go on...
Lemme give you an example; I wound up on these internet dating sites because of one lady. I didn't get on here to find someone, I was trying to sort myself out. But the site I went on (christianmingle) you had to fill out a profile. So I did, only because I had to, and I wanted to look at profiles to try and sort out exactly what it was I was looking for in a woman.
The second "match" was a supposed 100% match. I said "Ya, sure, I'll be the judge of that" and read through her profile. I was stunned. "You're kidding. Really? Where has this girl been my whole life?"
It didn't hurt that she was drop-dead gorgeous, but I read the profiles of a LOT of drop-dead gorgeous ladies that night. This first lady stood out because of what she WROTE; because of her character - because of what she stood for, because of what she liked and didn't like. I mean - she was even interested in Creation! (which is all I eat, breathe and sleep)
So I paid my $30 membership just for the opportunity to introduce myself to her!
But if I find a lady attractive, that isn't enough to go on. What's her character like? I can't really know (meeting her in person) unless I introduce myself to her first.
Nowfor me to express interest - that can take anywhere from a few minutes to weeks or months (it has taken me years with one lady)
These internet dating sites have greatly improved my skills and taught me what to look for, and what to ask a lady, so that I may figure out if I may be interested or not a heck of a lot faster.
Even if she expresses interest, if I'm still not sure yet, I'll keep chugging away - probably not ignoring her advances, but rather responding with "Well, let's get to know each other some more - I still need to interrogate..er....have a whole wack of questions I'd like to ask to get to know you better!"
Welcome to the forums - and thanks for sharing your heart and your fears.
First of all - YER 19!!! Egads - imagine how I feel, having never been married and I'm 40. ANd it aint been for trying! But I also know that even when I was the reason I wasn't married, that was not a knock against my value, or what I was, or my attractiveness.
Please don't let other people's behaviour determine your value. First of all, you are pretty - whether or not a guy tells you that or not is irrelevent.
It is crucial that you understand your value in Christ - otherwise you will have self-esteem problems your entire life. I speak by experience here. I "Crashed" at your age - my separation from the Lord took its toll, I had zippo value in my own eyes, I became horribly suicidal and depressed.
By merely restoring my relationship with Christ, I saw my value - why? Because MY CREATOR says I am valuable. And your Creator says you are incredibly valuable - whether or not your are pretty, whether or not other guys like you or not.
I'm sorry that guys have treated you poorly; first of all, they're not ALL like that - but frankly, the important guy to focus on here is Jesus Christ.
But you need to understand - I walked away from the Lord because people treated me poorly. What I didn't know was that I was walking away from the one who actually does give me value, in hopes of being accepted by those who didn't value me, and wouldn't value me anyway!
I already see many good qualities in you - one of which being brutal honesty. That is one of the strongest characteristics you can have in life, because you will find and know the truth. Notice how often Christ referred to the importance of truth - and that He was truth. Brutal honesty means you're not going to lie to others, but most imporantly, you're not going to lie to yourself.
Anyway - I'm on a borrowed internet connection at the library - keep posting, let's chat. I'm glad you're sharing, let's see if we can help you get you confident with guys again.
I'm a nice, friendly guy! (No, I'm not hitting on you - I don't want to make you scared in another way now! haha)
Jesus turned the water into wine, and too many evangelicals have been trying to turn it back into water ever since!
It's the spirit of the matter (pun intended); for the number of times I drink alchoholic drinks, I might as well not drink! I never stock the stuff, and the very rare occassion where someone may offer me a glass of wine or a beer and I feel permitted to drink it, is very rare indeed.
Will my having a beer cause a weaker brother or sister to stumble?
This is not hypocrisy, it is love.
It was similiar with secular music: I backslid over rock music. I really like rock music, and when I got saved, well frankly, the christian rock bands weren't that good. So I did something that was NOT clear in my conscience; and I began to listen to secular music. This was ultimately the first step in my backsliding, because I had just done something that - in my mind - was sin.
All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. I have no problem listening to secular music now. I can enjoy it with a clear conscience (except of course various songs which I do NOT have a clear conscience; i.e., just about anything from Madonna or Franky goes to Hollywood).
So what changed? My understanding and my spiritual maturity. I recognize the effects it has on me, or does not have on me. It is not a "sin" to me to listen to secular music - BUT, to other christians it is, and I will not listen to secular music around them FOR THEIR SAKES.
It is out of love for them, and concern for their spiritual growth.
Same with alchohol; if I'm in a public setting, I typically will not drink anything alchoholic, because there's people there that I do not know where they stand - and if they judge me for having an alchoholic drink (even though I am having it with understanding) and consequently reject the gospel of christ, then I am not walking in love toward that person. I can do without my alchohol, I have no problem with that - but, I also have no problem having an alchoholic drink in private, or with people who's conscience I know will not be affected by my having a drink.
And in fact, (all things in moderation) alchohol does have beneficial health effects.
