"I think that's what I was asking - if a girl's interested in a guy, and the guy's clueless with regard to her interest what should she do?"
I think your question is dependent on ones character and personality, though since there's such an expression of different thoughts and emphasy of how "wrong" it is for a woman to speak her interest to a guy, signals and body language will complicate this even further. Nothing beats straight talk from two mature adults just as long as there's acceptance and respect on the next part's reply! (this means accepting his lack of interest if that's what he communicates back to the lady). Unfortunately when liking or loving someone you're exposed to a possibility of rejection! We can't separate the two, they always come as a package.
Since Serve is too concerned of what and how she reflects herself around this guy, and most definitely doesn't wanna initiate, I think she should do it in disguise. Let her throw the ball in his court by taking her submissive portion by challenging the guy to take his leading position too. Let her arrange a bible study or research were she'll be in a position to ask him to LEAD her through that particular session. Then take it from there. This should clear up if she can be able to submit under his leadership if things were to work out.
As they both meet and share in this common interest, the level of his spiritual maturity will be revealed too. The more they meet, its the more they'll connect through further communications other than the bible sessions. A lot will be confirmed on those regular meetings, cause liking someone from a distance may turn once you share in his spirit and get to learn his mindset. A lot will most definitely be confirmed if you'll relate and complement each other or not!
I wish there was another way of expressing and communicating just how much I love and appreciate you!
Your warmth and participation means a great deal to me! And yes dear, I do this all the time. I persist and push you to the edge through numerous questions, some directed to you personally. You make time and write back without holding back. I need you to know that when I'm not expressing at times just how much you mean to me, doesn't mean that you mean any less or I'm less grateful of having you as a sister and a friend! Can't think of another way of saying THANK YOU Joy for everything that you've been doing for me. Your participation is highly appreciated by me!
Keep reflecting God's light shining in you without ceasing!! :applause:
Ladies I wanna share my gratitude for taking this scenario with such consideration. I appreciate questions asked for more clarity before posting your replies! That has kinda challenged me to think further and come up with reasons why wouldn't he tell you this inperson. Hence I brought forth the subject of body language from the ladies side. You may not agree with me on this... But ladies our bodies speaks volumes to the opposite sex! .We can draw a line without talking and make our intentions heard through silent treatment or closed conversations. Not necessarily that we're angry, but merely communicating/clarifying our boundaries and a lack of interest in anything further than what the purpose of us meeting with an ex is all about. (That is just why he always prayed for a neutral ground where he'll be listened to without you acting up either through your facial expression or being completely shut out through body language!) Can you believe that guys cannot bear our silent treatment? However this is another subject for another day.
Joy I must have pushed you to the edge when bringing forth the subject of fidelity as the main cause of your divorce! Thank you once more for sharing your further thoughts! What I seek to understand however is this: If all along your senses and descentment were what kept you goin and cooperating to his genuineness, does this change over a pic being uploaded? His now a lier and a manipulator cause his risking by revealing who is? Don't you think he would have taken his games to a new person who has no idea of a person that he used to be, so she doesn't always have to refer to the past and compare him with a person he claims to be today? After all new beginnings are always convenient and easier than making up with a person who knew you before.
Without taking sites here, would you have listened if he revealed earlier who he was or you would have felt that this dating site is not enough for the two of you as members? I think he still implements the mind of Christ since we're called to peace and reconciliation! Where else to start putting scripture into practice apart from our very families.
Again, I'm still wondering about the scripture that communicates the divorced parties abstaining and not remarrying until death do them part!
Does that apply in this scenario if it was a true experience?
And yes ladies I'm in full agreement with more prayers from both and fruits of salvation especially from him since claiming to have changed!
"I would want to know that his actions match his words over a period of time. Examine the fruit and get into marital christian counseling.Let the Lord lead."
That's the only way to find out if his as sincere as he sounds! Your reply is wisdom filled. :applause: :applause:
When do you start living up to your marriage vows?
Posted : 31 Jul, 2014 10:18 AM
Even if Adam or Eve wanted to commit adultery, there was no one to commit that with since they were only two on earth.
And what do you mean by "twisted brain?"
I tolerate any other attitude but arrogance! You don't want us relating in that manner now do you?
Keep your opinions to your self please in future if insulting is your idea of communicating. Thought this site was done with members of your kind since they were all deactivated from partaking here!
"joy, excitement, peace and a great deal of tears will inevitably flow without question"
I also think it would really be great indeed having a new member partaking with us in the body of Christ, especially being the father of your kids. But then again your reconciliation is dependent on the number of things even if you've already forgiven him.
(Can I ask you further) What if it was a question of infidelity that brought forth your divorce? Without taking sites here, he still didn't know any better then than he does now! Remember that God's word and instructions are written for us believers not non-believers. Would it made any difference if he cheated when you were still married?
I'll understand if you're not comfortable to answer this one since you've already mentioned that biblical divorce its biblical divorce inspite...!
Is there a chance of him working on earning your trust since his now a new creature?
The question of biblical divorce seems more interesting as I let my thoughts dwell on in. It's infact a subject on its on. Thank you sis for bringing it up!
Since we ladies upload our pics often times than guys do, he knew exactly who he was talking to. When sending you emails trying to break the ice and conversing with you, he was making sure if both were here for the same reasons, seeking love. His not even surprised meeting you here cause his been wondering if there was a neutral ground where you could meet and get to hear his side of the story about repentance and willingness to get his house in order. This wouldn't have worked had he brought up this subject inperson. Your body language always communicates less interest, its been clear that you're only meeting him to discuss the kids maintenance. With him its an answered prayer seeing you here but revealing who he is sooner would have compromised him an opportunity of reconnecting and making known to you that his now repented. You would have resisted at first site had you knew it's him.
Trust me I had those passages in mind when asking this question. Marriage seem to be the biggest deal one can ever commit to. I think these are issues we need to consider on a serious note before committing our lives to someone.
Thank you for sharing that,
Though I'm still interested in hearing the ladies replies.
a little suggestion to all my beloved sisters in the faith
Posted : 30 Jul, 2014 08:19 AM
What I "dispiced" about the former days was the idea of the fathers groom making agreements with the ladies father, uniting their children without them knowing. As if that wasn't enough, he (the groom's father) would pay the price agreed upon for his son to have the lady as his wife. After the wedding ceremony, the husband would take the lady into his mum's tent as her new home. I mean really, two weman on a same kitchen? I wonder how did that work out.
The husband didn't put any effort and input in having his wife and the lady's father corparating with all this without consulting his daughter? How about the lady meeting her husband for the very first time on their wedding day awaited by love making on their wedding night? How do you open up to a complete stranger to that level? I thought this is suppose to be inspired by chemistry and a strong bond between two people who are in love and have chose to love each other. I really wonder if their marriages did work out fore their culture's way of doing things doesn't seem to be a solid way of laying a foundation for a life time relationship. Was really amazed when I googled this!
