Author	Thread: Please guys this is for the ladies.
Admin	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 28 Feb, 2011 03:03 AM Hey all. I'm a little anxious about this post but the intention is to better prepare myself now so that this issue isn't present in marriage with my future wife. I've lately had the topic of pornography come to mind. Now i would lie if i didn't say that I'm constantly being tempted and at times fall in this area but by the grace of god and the work of the holy spirit i will keep fighting the good fight to overcome. Why I have brought up this topic is I want to understand how this area that all men struggle with affects you ladies. Now I'm not totally clueless in the effects that this issue causes. i understand that it takes away from the experience of finding things out together as a couple and brings certain expectations in the bedroom not to mention how demeaning it must be for females. What I'm asking is, 'personally what does pornography do to you in the way you look and the way you feel knowing that a man is looking at you in the same manner as if a porn clip. Thankyou for taking the time on this post. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 28 Feb, 2011 10:22 AM I understand alot of men struggle with this...but, I would hope that they refrain from watching it. It's not right...there is nothing Godly about it. If a man has no self control, then there are deeper issues. pornography is a disgrace to something God created to be a beautiful thing between husband and wife. the devil is a counterfeit Post Reply
View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 28 Feb, 2011 12:20 PM It affects the whole dynamic of a marriage. Many things in ponography are not healthy and are psychologically damaging. a woman will start to feel insecure in a relationship plus the guy will have unrealistic expectation to what a sexual relationship includes Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 28 Feb, 2011 09:27 PM To me, this is a type of mental infidelity and would send up huge red flags. Some things are meant to be shared between only two people. To put this in perspective, would you want your lady watching other guys, sexting, or sending out nude pictures? How would you feel if she did? May you win your struggle. Blessings Post Reply
shepherdess View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 28 Feb, 2011 10:05 PM "Whatsoever a man thinketh, so is he" How many people do you want in your marriage? The scripture is clear: Jesus said looking at a woman to lust after her ..has already committed adultry. (Matt 5:28) The world says its ok. God says different. The "eye gate" is where man will fall. With women it is what they hear. I think women who are obsessed with romance novels are no less guilty (those men in those books know Just What to say after all to woo a woman..right?) In the book of Job, it says he made a covenant not to look on a maid. that is a concientious effort to do what is right. Not an easy one~but a godly one we each need to pray as the devil knows our weakness. An accountability partner is always a good thing! Post Reply
View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 1 Mar, 2011 11:04 AM Even though I am a Guy I have one girlfriend on cdff that I consider an accountability partner. She and I talk about this issue often when it is necessary. Your spouse should be your accountability partner and a help mate. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 2 Mar, 2011 08:54 AM I gotta disagree with you there Klinton. If you find yourself being tempted by something like that again, you're going to be much better off going to your mentor/accountability partner/some other guy. If you tell your wife, she's just going to hear, "You're not good enough or pretty enough for me, and I would rather be with other women than you." Guys are going to be better equipped to help you anyways. Post Reply
View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 3 Mar, 2011 08:05 AM Well done for seeking out opinions! THis is always going to be an area that everyone has an opinion on... however, remember that being honest with your partner is the key! We all get tempted and all fail, however, what counts is how you deal with the temptation and failure. Now I am only speaking for myself here, but if my partner spoke to me about feeling tempted or giving into tha temptation - I would talk through it with him, and pray together, that he may not be tempted agian. I would not feel that I had failed him as a woman though. Porn is about fantasy and not reality. And I would know that I was his reality and hopefully his fantasy too. Post Reply
View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 3 Mar, 2011 11:31 AM There is no love in those fantasies. The problem is people, in general, sometimes make the mistake by thinking love is actually just sex and that isn't true. Sexual intimacy is important but it is not the only thing and some people are just plain stupid when they don't understand just how complex a true relationship is. What about comforting your partner when he or she is in any kind of pain? What about encouraging your partner to be a better person in life? Some people never stop to think about this. Post Reply
marikashome View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 4 Mar, 2011 05:42 PM If I were dating someone and found out they were into porn we probably would stop dating. Porn disgusts me for a number of reasons. It's fake and unrealistic. Most of all though I feel sad for the people who make money that way. That they would even consider selling those pics or videos is very sad. That some feel they have to, that they might have that low of a self image or feeling of self worth, that they might have been abused as kids, be runaways or have been forced into the business, makes it all the worse. That anyone would support the propagation of those things by paying for or even just watching/looking at/listening to videos, pictures, or voice time makes it sadder still. Post Reply
Soteriangels View Profile History	Please guys this is for the ladies. Posted : 4 Mar, 2011 11:32 PM Temptation isn't a sin, it's giving in to the devil. Sin is to stop believing. Addiction or watching porn is a wrong-doing, as many other wrong-doing that was lead by Sin that is non-believing that the lord is the only One your heart desires. So is it wrong to like porn than cheating on your wife? Both is wrong indeed. Sex is a gift from God, pornography is Sex the gift perverted by the devil. Desire is what God puts in us, but sometimes we use it wrongly. I think when we are filled with the word of God we will have the right desire. The body of a man's wife is to be treasured, loved and respected, as her heart was already conquered she will sometime in weakness listen to her husband, so wives are stronger some aren't. I do not think that I would like to have pornography of any form in my relationship life as it is the devil's perversion. I do not think also that most men look at women in the way you mentioned Dean, only those who are perverted does unfortunately. Post Reply

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