Author	Thread: Yours and Mine, or Ours?
bcpianogal View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 09:02 AM Here's a question for both girls and guys: In a Christian marriage, how should finances be handled? Should each person maintain completely separate accounts, or should the couple combine their accounts? How would expenses be split if each had his/her own account? Who pays for what? Why did you choose the answer you did? (Disclaimer: I have an opinion on this, but I don't know that there is one right or wrong answer...I'm just trying to get an idea of how other people see it.) Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 06:43 PM After marriage, there is now a family. The income from one or both or even all goes to care for the family. I do not understand families today where the teen child works and does not contribute to the family. The teen benefits from the family, but is not a contributing member. How does that develop the family mentality? On the other hand, if the parents do not have a family mentality, it would only stand to reason they would not develop this in their children. If the family prospers, everyone benefits. If the family struggles, everyone works to improve the situation. Work doesn't only include money, but also contributing to the care of the home and the care of the family. So, in a nutshell, me goes out the door when we comes into being. Post Reply
View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 06:51 PM @Elisa Loved your post. In fact I thought it was so good that I figured you must be from another country. So I checked out your profile and I was right; you're from Texas! :laugh: Post Reply
View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 07:56 PM I agree with Mercygrl. I also think we should have separate accounts we can contribute to. We can use them to buy things we want for ourselves, or as a place to deposit money so we can buy gifts for each other. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 08:07 PM Wow, I think I actually agree with most of you! I expected a much more diverse set of responses. My opinion is that a joint account is best. Divided accounts seem to often divide marriages. I think that it's a good idea for each couple to have some "private" money for gifts and such (either by way of an allowance, or by way of income from additional odd jobs), but general income should be joint. There are two reasons why I think this is best. One is that the two have become one, and therefore their assets should reflect that. The second is because my own desire is to be a stay-at-home mom if at all possible. Since my husband would need to be the primary income earner, I would need access to that income to pay the bills, buy groceries, take care of the household, etc. I want to work part-time from home to supplement his income (since one-income households are difficult to maintain), and put that income into the joint account. And yes, I realize that reality might be different from what I want, but hey...I can still hope! Did that make sense at all? Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 08:31 PM I don't know, if there were two incomes, then I would have no problem just letting everything be kinda free as long as bills were split fairly. If it was just one working, then it probably should be a joint account because one shouldn't have so much power over in the relationship as long as they are both doing their parts responsibly. If one was just sitting around at home doing nothing, yet spending tons of money, then I don't know. It wouldn't seem fair to the one working. So I guess it would depend on the circumstance for me. Basically, as long as it's fair to both parties. :peace::peace: Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 09:40 PM I believe all three. The main account should be a joint account. From that account the household expenses would be paid. However, each individual would have a separate account for each of themselves and from that account would be any extra money that the individual was saving for something for that individual... such as buying birthday or Christmas presents... or for the woman... saving for that new pair of "must have" shoes... for the guy... saving for that new hunting rifle... I think that the bulk of family finances goes into the joint account however, each individual still needs to have a little "me" money to do with as the individual choses... Post Reply
marikashome View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 20 Oct, 2010 12:24 PM I think the answers really depend on the couple, their backgrounds, outlooks and personalities. Especially with more mature couples or couples where one or both are bringing a house or large accounts to the marriage, separate accounts of some sort should be considered. Money earned after the wedding could be combined while leaving retirement and pre-marriage accounts could be payable on death, or each person could retain separate accounts, each contributing agreed-upon amounts to expenses. Separate accounts doesn't necessarily mean a lack of trust. I know a couple that married after retirement. They kept separate accounts due to medical expenses and in the interest of their children. Another couple was married almost 60 years and neither ever knew what the other saved. I never knew the reasons for separate accounts, but it worked for them. My parents have been married over 40 years and never maintained separate accounts-and that worked for them. Just depends on the people and the situations. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 20 Oct, 2010 10:46 PM I am a budgeter. After we give, pay the bills, and save, there should be some money left over for each of us. While I may think it's dumb for her to spend her money on handbags and fancy face paint, I've gotta let her have that freedom so that when I want something she thinks is dumb, she'll let me. At some point (likely after graduation), I'm going to have to increase my budget. $25/month for gas and $50-$100/month for food won't get a couple very far. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 21 Oct, 2010 05:17 AM Now I'm getting some more diverse answers! Like I said in my original post, I don't think there is one "right" answer or way to handle it. I know both happy and unhappy couples who have separate accounts, and happy and unhappy couples who have joint accounts. Would it be fair to say that either method requires a great deal of trust in each other (just as many other things in marriage require!), and that without that trust, either method is likely to fail? Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	Yours and Mine, or Ours? Posted : 21 Oct, 2010 08:18 PM I concur that there is not right answer; however, they should develop a joint plan/budget to ensure all the bills (tithe, mortgage/rent, utilities, groceries, etc) are paid before individual money is spent on luxuries. Otherwise, you open yourself up for potential financial problems. If both are not in agreement on how the mortgage/rent will be paid, the other partner may spend their money on whatever. When the mortgage doesn't get paid, it affects both's credit and well-being. Once you put your name on a joint account of any kind (even as a co-signer), the actions (or lack of actions) of the other will affect your credit. Bad credit can affect your ability to get a job, other loans, etc. How to handle finances should be discussed BEFORE the marriage. You probably will have an idea of whether you're dating a spender or a saver. Establishing guidelines like how much can be spent without conferring with the other, whether you should take a chunk of your savings to pay down a bill, etc are good topics of discussion/planning. Post Reply

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