Author	Thread: kids
socaljames4jesus View Profile History	kids Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 12:36 PM is a single man thats went thru a divorce and has children and love them very much and is a good father. is that baggage or atractive? Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	kids Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 01:05 PM It depends on different peoples preferences. Some don't want to have to deal with exes who many times can purposely try to cause strife in the others relationship...while other people may see you as being responsible and loving and be more drawn to you. Another thing that can't really make or break peoples impression of the situation is how you act and react with your ex in regards to the children. Do you have a strained relationship? Is there a mutual respect and agreement to work together for the children? Do one or both of you try to use the children against the other? For me it only becomes baggage if the exes are not on god terms with each other. Otherwise there is no problem other than learning to live and thrive in a blended family environment. Post Reply
marikashome View Profile History	kids Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 01:21 PM Depends on the woman. I would love to marry someone with kids. I wouldn't want to date someone with or without kids if they were forever talking about their exes and how bad they were. I consider emotional baggage to be a possible problem. Not family. And I respect a man who keeps his kids in his life even if he and his ex aren't together anymore. To me that says a lot of positive things about his character that only years might reveal otherwise. Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	kids Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 01:32 PM It could go either way. I have read profiles where men say their children are the most important things in their life and any woman who is with them needs to deal with that. I tend to run away from these men. Balance is important. Your kids should know that they are important and loved but what I have written above is a recipe for disaster in a relationship. Post Reply
socaljames4jesus View Profile History	kids Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 02:24 PM ty 4 ur input Post Reply
View Profile History	kids Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 06:32 PM Depends on the woman, I think. I don't see it as baggage at all. What is potential baggage is the relationship with the "ex". If it is not good...... that is baggage that needs to be addressed in the relationship. Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	kids Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 08:36 PM Depends on the situation. Personally, I wouldn't mind, in fact I would probably even like, marrying someone with kids because I want kids, I just don't want to have them naturally. But I would not marry someone with kids unless, A) The man in question and his ex were on good terms, B) I got his ex's side of the story (but yes, I WOULD give more weight to the man I love and what he says, but I want to know what she says too), C) His ex was okay with me being a part of her children's lives (I don't want drama), D) His kids are okay with me and do not have any problems with me marrying their dad. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	kids Posted : 14 Oct, 2010 07:53 PM In my experience it doesnt amount to a hill of beans, most people will pass judgment on me (making a fundemental attribution error) without ever taking the time to gain understanding, I guess thats why women with understanding is so rare. *Disclaimer this is my opinion and not directed at anyone :)* Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	kids Posted : 14 Oct, 2010 11:35 PM @Rabbit. WOMEN with understanding are rare???? Okay you asked for it :boxing::boxing::boxing::boxing: Honestly though, it works both ways. We all have something that others will run when they find out, no matter the circumstances. But there are always those who will stay and understand. And the thing is, maybe they're not passing judgment on YOU. Maybe they just know deep down that they are not cut out to take on someone elses kids. On a side note... My cousin married a lady who has a daughter (they are now divorced unfortunately), and my cousin didn't just treat her daughter like his own, she really became his daughter too, even though she was probably 5 or 6 years old when they had met. And the sweetest and most special thing I've ever seen in ANY wedding ceremony was when he said a separate set of vows to her daughter and gave her a ring. Post Reply
View Profile History	kids Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 04:53 PM children are never baggage. sometimes the ex can be an issue. But children are a gift.. your mine or ours.. LOL Post Reply
View Profile History	kids Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 07:36 AM Exactly how many kids are we talkin here? I've got three kids myself (well, used to have only one, but my niece and nephew moved in with me last year) so I'm starting to pay attn to the number of children the men I would date have. If they have three or more themselves, I dunno. That's alot of kids man. Mine are more than halfway to moving-out age, so that may be a factor also. I guess it goes back to the "it depends" answer. I'd have to pray alot about 6+ kids all living in the same house. Post Reply

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