Well, I just had my first date weekend. First date with this woman and first date in over 30 years. We've been writing each other on CDFF for over 5 months. This was our first time to meet face to face. I'm 57 years old. I had been married for 30 years. From filing to finalized, my divorce took 2 years. I've been divorced for 15 months.
It sure has been a long trip. From the shock of learning about the divorce, going thru the panic of the unknown future, wondering if I'd ever be part of a couple again, worrying about bankruptcy and foreclosure, wondering if I'd ever be desired again, praying I'd find someone with a lot of compatibilities, would anyone be willing to put up with me, the disbelief when a search didn't turn up a Southern Baptist woman who didn't drink or smoke within 250 miles of where I live, then getting in contact online with someone who kept responding to my letters. We wrote about our beliefs, problems in our lives and our hopes for the future. We traded letters of prayers, prayers for each other and our children. Finally we were going to meet.
Then it started to happen. I started worrying about actually meeting her. Where did that nervousness about meeting come from? Wait - I'm older! I wasn't nervous, I was apprehensive though! And she was coming for two nights and three days. Where to take her? What to show her?
Honestly - it seemed like our meeting really wasn't going to happen, like she wasn't a real person - and the fact we were planning to meet didn't seem real. Finally the day was here. It was a busy day at work for me. I wasn't accustomed to having to hurry through my job because I had somewhere to meet. I grinned a lot at work that day! Finally I was at her motel to meet her. (Deep breath) 'Hello', a quick hug then we were on our way. 48 hours later she was on her way home. It was a long 48 hours. There was soooo much good during that time!!!
About two hours after meeting her, just after sunset, I took her to the premiere parking spot in my area. Slick, suave and sophisticated I am not. I doused any romantic thoughts by telling a story about taking my daughter up there one day and she found empty beer bottles and a used condom. After that story we left to go eat supper. Several hours later, at a public park, we did share 'the first kiss' (the first in over 30 years for me). In earlier letters the first kiss had been mentioned so after the kiss I gave her a pen and a 'report card'. I got a 'Perfect!". (yyYess!!! I still got it!!)
We went to church, we prayed, we ate out, we rode around and I spent to much time as her 'tour director'. It was Labor Day Weekend and 'everything' was closed. Add a tropical storm passing through and that did away with going to outdoor parks. I wasn't prepared with places where we could go sit in comfortable seats and talk. We spent a lot of time sitting in the car and I could tell it wasn't really her favorite spot. We talked, we had difficulties, we worked through those and kept talking. We went to an indoor flea market. Just before she was to leave I took her back to the premiere parking spot and played 'Across The Miles' by Aaron Jeoffrey. It was amazing how that song fit us! We talked, we prayed - and her leaving was delayed. One hour, two hours - finally she was on the road to her house and I returned to my house. Strange how empty the house felt now! She hadn't been to my house but she had so filled my life the last 48 hours that now I felt lonely!
Yes, a long 48 hours! Lots of words were shared, lots of memories created, lots of emotions stirred. Wow! What a weekend! What a blessed weekend.
Well, I�m the girl bamakodaker is talking about. The one he�s faithfully been writing for 5 months. It is as he says�. You can write someone but even then, until you meet someone face to face, they still seem to be just a virtual person. Pictures posted were current so that helped. It wasn�t until 4 months of writing before we even talked on the phone. Then we tried to text one another, too. All and all we still preferred letter writing.
We tried to discuss ahead of time our boundaries and thoughts on preserving our faith and not getting into a situation that would be a snare like so many others have been trapped by. Quite frankly we both were nervous as cats. I give a much better appearance of being calm, cool and collected but inside I was scared of so much. Scared of the rejection and what if�s. What if I�m not as cute to him as I want to be? What if I�m not good enough? What if he doesn't get that feeling of connection or attraction as some say they are looking for? Oh�the pressure. Then it occurred to me to ask those same questions for myself. What if he�s not attractive in person? How much of that is really important in the long run of a quality relationship and an ability to be compatible? Is he really who he says he is or is he a con that I had been deceived by? Oh, the fears. It all had to be thought about and examined. Yet, I still hoped for the best. I had to trust that God was in all of our share times and hope I was being led to move forward.
Nothing can account for the real meeting but the actual real meeting. It�s fun, it�s exciting, and it�s nerve racking all at the same time. Yet, I had an assurance. My assurance was the constant, consistent, honest letter writing for the past 5 months. I was banking on the quality of guy I was meeting based on profile, letters, and verifiable facts elsewhere on the Internet. This man�s letters weren�t filled with eloquent words of charm and swooning. It was only a few times that he shared transparent stories of his life, his desires, his regrets and his weaknesses. His letters were filled with quality questions that at times I wasn�t sure I was ready to answer or share with someone. Yet I did and he continued to write.
Six-hour drive I made for our first meeting. I conveniently had another errand to run in his same town. Otherwise, it would have been him coming to my town for the first time. He comes to the door, we smile, we lightly hug to say hello for the first time and yet we already knew one another pretty well for a first face-to-face meeting. I got lucky�He looked as I had thought and the vibes were peaceful and so off we went.
Our letters gave us things to talk about over dinner. I had a complete tour of the town and all of its history. 48 hours of non-stop conversation, fellowship, intense discussion of our differences. This was all so new for both of us. I had wondered ahead of time about it all. Since I had been married to and around the same guy for 27 years I wasn�t quite sure how I would feel being with another man. I was so happy to realize, that this new man in my life put me at ease. He was a gentleman through and through. If only other people�s dates could go so well.
It was fun, it was exciting and I didn�t want it to end. Oh yea, did I tell you about the kiss�Yes, there was a kiss. Advice�if you go expecting one, you may find yourself coming up short. He hadn�t kissed another women in 30 years and I was for sure it could be awkward, so I didn�t want to think about it. Then it just happened. Yep, when the time was right he made his move. I now know how someone came up with the expression �I melted like butter�. It�s true! I�ll give him the credit due. He is a good kisser and that was better than anything I could have expected for our first date.
So now what? Well, there�s talk of meeting again. We won�t neglect our letter writing. There is something precious about the well over 125 letters that each of us has written to one another. We have them�we�ve kept them� Someday they will be an important archive to our life�s journey.
Last but not least, I want to say something very important to keep in mind�. In the very beginning we made a decision that God had to be in the middle of this journey. I thank God for helping us to find one another. �If God be for us who can be against us?� Our lives have a long way to go before we share to deeply. Commit to yourself and to whoever God has for you as a future mate, that you will stay sexually pure and wait. That way you can be filled with the excitement of dating in a pure way. No regrets! The conversations, the looks, the eye to eye and heart to heart connection can be pleasant gifts from God. Be especially guarded in your heart and minds, always. Keep in mind that only God can bring two people, two lives, two personalities and two friends together from across the world if he has to. So be encouraged. Be open. Be ready for that time. You never know when you might meet that person you�ve prayed for. Be friends first and trust that God has it all in control. All I can say at this point is���.�that�s as good as it gets�
Both of your posts are very encouraging. Thank you for sharing both of your perspectives. And thank you for reminding me (and probably others as well) that your relationship is about God first. I wish all the happiness for you both as you continue through life, with whatever God has in store.
:applause:...Awesome share Gent & Lady...Prayin for you both...on Your New Journey with God/Jesus at the Wheel...Keep us posted please on the Second date..and God's Continued Blessings to you both...xo
unfortunatly, the guy I was e-mailing, "not here, and met in person at Renn Faire" has a girlfriend. They were not hiding it, just keeping low profile. it's cool, we are friends, and I like her too.
