Author	Thread: I feel like I'm Drowning
Admin	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 15 Sep, 2011 02:09 PM There is nothing anymore, going around in circles. I have no hope left, i'm just waiting to die. Why is life so cruel? It has consumed me since i was a 7 year old little girl, i don't know why, or what happened. I've been given a life that i don't want, with no way to get out of it. It has completely destroyed me, my life, everything. I don't want to fight anymore, i'm too tired of fighting. Every attempt to overcome this has been a painful battle with no end in sight, and I end up feeling worse because i failed, again. I just want to be normal. Will I ever be free of this? It's been a long, painful life filled with nothing but fear, shame and humiliation. As a child, i would stand alone in the playground by myself, watching the other kids have fun, wishing that i was like them. I wanted so badly to be like them, to experience life from their perspective, but i'll never know. I knew i was different, even then, i knew deep down, there was an inner sadness and realization that i wasn't like everybody else. I always felt sad because i felt alone. My teen years were by far the worst, from start to finish. I am now 20 years old, bitter lonely, sad, depressed, angry. I have been tormented for so long, years are going by, nothing is changing because my problems are so severe, they have exhausted every feeling there is to feel. I am truly ashamed of myself and there is nothing I can do about it, I'm literally just waiting to die. Post Reply
View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 26 Oct, 2011 03:25 PM I will be praying everyday for you, just as I pray for a friend of mine who also tried to kill herself, but I thank God she was already in a psych ward and didn't succeed. I wish there was more I could do. Post Reply
View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 27 Oct, 2011 03:19 PM I was there once...just like you...I wanted to kill my self...I was so broken...so confused...so NOT wanting anyone or anything to do with anything...I didnt even believe in GOD...I was a Atheist...What does a person do when they are so broken inside and out ???...I dont know what they do...but for me...I said..."I dont know ifin you are real...I dont even believe in you...but people tell me all the time to "just" call upon your name...so...GOD...Jesus...what ever your name is...I give up...I surrender...I cant do this life thing anymore...Im all messed up...I dont know what ima doin anymore or for why ima doin it...one thing I do know is...ima done with it...you can do with me what ever you want... I gave my self to a GOD I didnt even Know or Believe in...and HE took me just as was...broken...frightened...confused and messed up...He took hold of me and filled me up with HIS Love until I could love myself...My life was changed by Him...not me... Hang in there sweet child...God has a plan for your miserable life...ya just gota surrender it first...xo Post Reply
View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 28 Oct, 2011 08:05 AM Suicide is the same as murder, don't do it! There will be more suffering waiting for you if you go down that dark path. I almost killed myself when I was 19. But God sent a stranger who stopped me along the road and said that she needed to pray for me. This lady whom I had never met before started telling me the problem I was suffering from and said that Jesus loved me and started praying for me. That's when I gave my life to Jesus and though I still experience depression from time to time, having Jesus and the promises of God to lean on makes it a lot easier to cope because I have a hope and a future in Christ Jesus our Lord and Saviour. Jeremiah29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,� declares the LORD, �plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, I command you spirit of suicide to come out of Adrianna at once! OUT, IN JESUS' NAME!!! Amen. Post Reply
shin7scarlet1 View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 29 Oct, 2011 08:01 AM girl i know how you feel. life isn't that bad. 4 months ago i wanted to die.i was missing the point in "value" of life that God has gave me. i was on the verge of suicide. I was about to jump on the bridge. when i look to my left i saw a man who was about to do the same thing as me. i ask him why does he want to go for suicide?. he said there are so many bad things happened to his life. he had a baby on his ex on a wrong time, family matters and etc. he ask me too and i said, i was forced on things i don't want to happen. For short i don't have even a single freedom at all. mandatory parental marriage is even included. before we jump he made a bet, he said "if we both lived, i will change everything in my life, though it's going to be heavy, i will do it. on top of that i want you to be my girlfriend since we have we are about to jump anyway". i was like "what? your timing stinks......well.......fine! as long you will fight for it no matter what the situation is, if you let go, then screw you!". after that we had a deal and we both jump of the bridge. when i woke up i was in a hospital on private room with a left broken arm. and i got up i saw him at the nursing station asking how i was... we had the same doctor. a day before before i was discharge, me and my friend went for walk inside and outside the hospital. and i saw a lot of patient that want to live so bad although they knew that they are going to die... my dear friend let me tell you: life is always a rough road, ever since we are born. God will always give us a situation. if you dig in so much into your feelings and emotions it would really destroy and kill you. God created happiness...so use it wisely. relationships are never the solutions to your problem. Do what you think is right. I grew up without my parents too. but there is a reason for that and it's a good one. Post Reply
TRUUST View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 30 Oct, 2011 03:29 PM DEAR SISTERS AND BROTERS TEARS ARE COMMING OUT FROM MY EYES READING THAT....ALL OF U WROTE HERE.....ALL U A RIGHT ....LOOKING THE WHOLE PICTURE FROM U OWN SIDE...... YES.....I CAN WRITE A BOOK FROM WHAT I READ AND I KNOW .I JUST HAVE ALSO MY SO SAD EXPERIENCE LIKE U ALL I MEAN WELL I FELT SO LONELY IN THE UK ( IT WAS SO FAR WAY-IN 2003 BUT I CAN SEE IT CLEAR AND STILL TEARS ARE GOING WITHOUT STOPPING IN MY EYES......)I FELT SO DESPERETLY NEEDING FRIEND NEXT TO ME LIKE THAT GIRL HERE "ADRIANA" BUT ADI.....I HAVEN'T MY OWN ROOF THERE ,I COULDN'T WORK AND SO ON..AND SO ON... THAT U HAVE I SUPPOSE....TO BE HONEST MY BIG PROBLEM WAS I JUST WAITED SO MUCH TO SEE THE SUN!!!!!!!YES.................................... DIFFENITELY THE SUN WAS VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO ME!!!AND OFCORCE OTHER THINGS LIKE TRUE FRINDS BUT MAIN WAS THAT IF I COULD WORK AT THAT TIME WOULD BE DIFFERENT....U SEE WHEN U LOOK FOR THE REASONS ( ABOUT THE PROBLEMS ) AND THINK THEY ARE OUT OF U ... U JUST PUT YOURSEF IMMIDIATLY AS A VICTIM ,BUT IF U THINK THAT YOUR " CAN ATTETUDE"CAN DEAL WITH IT CAN DO SOMTHIN TO CONTROL THE SITUATION U'LL NOT FEEL AS A VICTIM!!! WELL THAT WAS WORDLY EXPLANATION.....IF IT'S SPIRITUAL U JSUST !!!!FAST!!!!!& PRAY!!!!!WELLL FASTING IS THE BEST ACCURE FOR ALL KIND OF DEPRESSIONS!!!!!!!!!I CAN TALK A LOT ABOUT HOW MUCH I KNOW ABOUT IT FROM THE BOOKS( I READ AND FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE TOO:)p)) GOD LOVES US ALL!!!!WE JUST NEED ....TO...TRUUUUUUUUST IN....HIM!!!!!!!WITH LOVE,VANI:angel::angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 12 Nov, 2011 04:34 AM well if you lisen to alot of music 432hz vs 440hz pt 2 - Nazi Fluoride & How illuminati 440hz Music Poison Pineal Gland 432hz used by Bob Marley, Mozart, Bach give it a mo you will feel good http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYUBz0wZGLk 432hz vs 440hz pt 3 - Bob Marley Power in 432hz http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33p3XRHQOV0&feature=related :applause: :applause: :applause: http://www.omega432.com/music.html Post Reply
View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 18 Nov, 2011 07:26 PM Wow, what a heart wrenching series of posts. Adrianna I think there are tons of people praying for you. When ever you feel down just seek His face, He will never leave you nor forsake you. And please remember Adrianna, Cobler, Shin and all the rest that need it, we all do truly love you, and that is the honest truth. If you were local I would be happy to help, all I have to offer for now is my prayers, and those I give freely. Post Reply
Soteriangels View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 18 Nov, 2011 11:47 PM @justified, i've viewed your profile and your post brings me here. @all of you who posted, i think cobbler has left the site, what about Adrianna? are u still around? the big word is MINDSET Life isn't so hard when you change the way you think about yourself , others , a situation , and GOD I won't write much on this. It's simple: We are not autistic, aspie, down syndrome, schizophrenic, bipolar patient, syndrome of i'm never gonna be loved, or whatever the world tagged us with...but WE ARE CHRISTIANS... We are saved, we are loved by Jesus... He doesn't love us more or less because we are autistic, aspie, depressed, HE loves us because that's what HE is, LOVE... If we know we are loved no matter what a situation is, if we know we are loved no matter what that person did to us or said to us, if we know we are loved by God no matter if it seems like He iis not here...if we just know...we will give Him this opportunity to turn things around for us. You are Loved by an Almighty God, therefore healed, and god is omnipotent...nothing is impossible for him. I love you all In Him Post Reply
Soteriangels View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 20 Nov, 2011 04:32 AM U don't have 2 leave this world to have perfect peace. Just don't treasure the things of this world. Treasure Him & His Word Post Reply
View Profile History	I feel like I'm Drowning Posted : 21 Nov, 2011 03:55 PM Adrianna I wish there was something I could say to you that would help you feel better, but I don�t know the answer. I too do not see any hope for the future. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to seek professional help, but what everyone does not understand is that there really isn�t any help for those of us with Autism. What help professionals can give is to help the friends and family of those with Autism to understand the person with Autism better. That is the most frustrating part of having an Autism Spectrum Disorder is that we have a very difficult time communicating our thoughts and desires. Our desires are not any different than anyone else�s, we just don�t know how to get that across. I get so frustrated with so many people taking everything I say and twisting it into something evil, nothing I ever say is right. If I say that I want to get married, then I must not like who I am. If I say that I wish to be more than just friends, to pursue a more romantic relationship, then that means I am desperate to marry just anyone. It can never be that I simply want to be in love, to love and care for someone, and to grow old together, just as anyone else. The only thing that I can say to you, Adrianna, is that it should be a little easier for you to find someone than for me. I am expected to lead the relationship, but how can I if I don�t know what I am doing. I have no problem leading the relationship once I start to figure things out. But, because of the subtle nature of starting a relationship, I have realized that I am not capable of leading the relationship at the start. Unless a woman is willing to reach out to me and help me understand, I will grow old alone. I guess my main point is if you want to help someone on the Autism Spectrum the best thing you can do is to reach out to them and just be their friend. Don�t try to explain things to them, just show them by example. Post Reply

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