If you date without intention of marriage you actually acting like a child who play a new toys and then discard them. This kind of message hit me like a bullet. I think we should date someone when that person really means something to you and you feel your future together has potential. You care about a person, not just the idea of dating. God bless all.
Because dating is to find out if one is compatible with another, to continue the relationship and (perhaps) lead to marriage. If you only date those with whom you anticipate marriage... there really is little point to dating, then, isn't there? You could jump right ahead to engagement.
The differences between dating, marriage, and playing with toys are numerous, including that a child doesn't make a lifetime commitment to one toy over others, that toys are living beings (I realize that Buzz Lightyear may disagree on this point), and that one cannot have a relationship with a toy (I realize that hoarders may disagree on this point).
One dates to meet potential partners with whom one might be interested in pursuing a relationship. It is an important filtering process, not unlike a job interview. It isn't petty. It isn't silly. It isn't always detrimental. It is a helpful filtering process to avoid information/relationship overload.
It sounds like you're both ultimately saying the same thing. Part of dating is seeing if you are compatible with the person. Then, after you figure that out and you see that this is the person that you want to commit to, then as an adult the next step would be marriage. She's not saying that on the first date, you should discuss wedding plans. Then again as a christian you don't want to wait to long dating someone, then other temptations come up as you get closer to the person. If you know what I'm saying...
what you looking in relationship? what your intention in relationship? maybe we different opinion about date. I know what you mean. Before I date with someone, I must know about that person. Firstly, just make everything is as a friend. you know that person and you care about him/her. How come I date with someone if I dont know about him/her.
Before go date, I have to know that person, how that person, did she/he is christian those really devote him/her life to Christ. Did he/she really have good commitment to each other. for me, I should have my own intention before date. when I date with that person, I really mean that relationship. I want my relationship until the marriage (amen).Then maybe you can ask him/her go to date. why not right? :glow:
To me, dating is a way for a couple to intentionally get to know each other to see if marriage might be a possibility. Dating may not always end in marriage, but I think it's important to keep that in mind as the purpose for dating. In other words, once I know that I would never marry someone, I would not continue dating him.
The tricky part is making sure that the person you are dating feels the same. If two people are dating, but heading in different directions (ie. one is dating specifically to find a marriage partner, and the other is dating just to have a regular activity partner), there will be problems.
technically, dating is just setting aside time to spend with another person outside of your normal routine. When you go out to lunch, you are going on a date, with your friends and family members, with your coworkers and sometimes complete strangers. The question is, what is your intention when you spend time with that person? Do you want to alleviate boredom, go over practical concerns, or just study that person and get to know him/her a little better?
Then "dating" in the social slang sense of the word is just setting aside your time for one person, exclusively for friendly/romantic interests. In that sense, you want to find qualities about that person that you respect, love, or admire. You want to determine if this is someone whom you could trust above other people, and whose time and attention you value. And you want to GIVE of yourself love to that other person, in small/simple ways and in big/personal ways.
I think, more important than the semantics of "dating" is the approach of living in Christ and sharing his love with everyone around you. Maybe one day, you will find someone with the characteristics that attract you in life and love. But for now, learn to love one another unconditionally. In heaven there won't be any husbands or wives, sons or daughter. We will all be brothers and sisters in Christ, belonging only to God.
I agree that no mature Christian would be looking at dating as a recreational hobby, for sport or game. When you have a serious sense of God's calling/will for your life, you want first and most importantly someone who already serves God and also has a clear sense of his/her calling in the Lord for their life, also. This way, you will know right off
the bat if the two of you have any reason to pursue courtship, or getting to know one another further with the goal or intent/hope being finding 'the one' for marriage.
The Bible says how can 2 walk together if not in agreement? Of all the areas of compatibility, and there are many (personality, for example -- goals, life-views, habits, living style, and so forth) of all these, if you are serious about serving God as a life capacity, make sure the person you are considering getting to know better 1-1 at least shares your level of interest in the Lord/ministry. If the person can't share or support that, then in my personal opinion, you are not equally yoked.
My certainty of who I am in Christ Jesus, and all of what He wants me/believers to be in general, is so strong, that to be honest, very few people can begin to tolerate the intensity and level of my relationship with the Lord. That right there pretty much eliminates 99% of erroneous time, or the possibility of being attracted to someone for some outward reason or even an isolated common interest... say a hobby for example... if my level of interest in ministry is exceptionally high and his is exceptionally low, we have no business even contemplating dating, never mind marriage.
I say all this in hopes to spare some, as Paul desired to spare many tribulations in marriage, by staying single if at all possible (few people take that advice) and of course it's NOT sin to marry, for the Lord ordained marriage knowing it is not good for the man to be by himself, he needs a help mate like unto his own kind! While you may be free to marry whomever you like, only IN the Lord... do yourself and him/her a huge favor and make sure even your definition of what 'in the Lord' means, is in common. For some Christians, going to church twice a year, at Christmas and Easter, is their idea of faith. For others, every single day of their lives, they speak about, study, seek, abide in, and go about their callings, in the Lord. I don't need to tell you the person who goes to church twice a year will not be happy with the person who never stops abiding in the Lord and the things of the Lord 24/7.
But I can tell you, when you pray to the Lord and ask Him to show you who would be his perfect will for you... not just His permissive will, but his perfect will? You will probably find one of the most inwardly beautiful spiritual people you might not ever have known existed. For this reason my prayer is more about the personality and heart, and the deisre for ministry and love of the Lord, than any outward thing. Howeer, if the person shares a great love of the Lord, and wishes to serve the Lord, has a beautiful heart and so forth, yet knows he/she is called to missions and you know you are not, that in itself may be enough to say, this may not be God's perfect match. God's perfect match always compliments one another especially in the area of ministry.
My post is long so last I will say, for a woman, it would be wise to pray for a man who sees his covering of his wife as part of his ministry to the Lord. You want a man who is so in reverence of the Lord that he would NEVER adulterate the marriage, not only because he would never harm his wife, but because he would never sin in this manner against the Lord. This is the quality of person who will give themselves over for you as Jesus did for the church, whom you will easily be able to admire, and love. Best wishes, and most prayefully,
Dating is to meet the right partner, who might be the One for a relationship. It is a process of elimination. Many Christians date with no intention of marriage which I find really not biblical having intimate dating with a boyfriend for years with no committment.