Thread: What kind of man do you want? Real or Wimp?
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What kind of man do you want? Real or Wimp?
Posted : 3 Mar, 2009 10:27 AM
I am asking this question at the request of a dear friend. Men, I want your opinion about the kind of man you want to be. I will start it off with my opinion.
Too many men today are worried about what others will think, or wanting to be politically correct. We have become a nation of wimps, afraid to stand up, or even state our real beliefs. I think God has enough wimps. And, (I may be wrong about this) I think our women have had enough of them, too.
I think they want a man to be a man, even if they don't agree with him. Men, REAL men, are different than women. we will not always agree on everything. But, you know what? If you are a man, and stand up for what you believe, you will be surprised at how quickly she becomes a woman. Why? Because NO ONE respects a wimp. Do you really think that woman respects you for always giving in? No! She does not, would you?
God doesn't need someone that is afraid to talk about Him because man's law says we are not allowed. When I am at the Post Office, or a school, or anywhere...I am going to talk about God. If anyone questions that, I ask if they know Jesus. They run, because they are afraid of a true believer. That is being a man. Come on men, be men for a change, you might just like it.
I know there are some real men on here, come on, back me up on this. You know you want to.
And for the sake of men everywhere, quit being scared to talk to a woman. Start off with winks. Make it a goal to send 5 every day until you get a response from someone you like. Then, write her. If you need help, email me. But quit being submissive, that is the woman's job, and she can do it much better than you.
In short, there is supposed to be a difference in men and women. Embrace those differences, enjoy them, applaud them. I love women, all of them. They are all a little different, but they share one common denominator, they WANT to be treated like a woman, I just wish we could say the same for all men.
Why should I submit to a male who is not strong and in whom I have no trust? To expect that is ludicrous.
To expect a woman to fulfill her role of submission, a man must fulfill his role as the head of the household. He must be honorable and worthy of following. My family, finances, and very future are entrusted to this person. Of course he must be as Christ to the church.
So gentlemen, step up to the plate. You might be surprised at how we respond.
I really appreciate your insight. I have followed your posts and I must say I am impressed with your practical knowledge. Many people know the scriptures, but few have your understanding of how they apply to our lives.
I loved your answer to Lydia, I had tried to express the same thought to her on the phone, but didn't do near as well as you. There is something inside us that makes us want to protest those that can't protect themselves. It makes us feel more masculine.
I have known many women who were just as aware of this trait as we are. And were willing to play on that. Of course this was all when I was in the world, but it is worth remembering. Not that it ever helped me, I just went rushing in like the proverbial fool. LOL.
Thank you for the comments. I am hoping some of the guys will read this. I am so tired of reading posts about how we should share the responsibility of contacting each other.
I know i am old fashioned, but it has been my experience that women like that. I treat every woman I meet like a lady, whether they are one or not. I hold myself to the standards of a bygone era, but I feel better about myself, and the women around me feel better about themselves as well.
Chivalry is not dead, it is just not practiced as much, and that is a shame. The man feels so much more like a man, if he teats women like ladies.
I want a real Christian man, not one that just claims to be.
A real man is never ashamed of his beliefs. A real man will tell me when I am wrong and explain to me why I am wrong so I understand - instead of just letting it slide. I always want the truth...
But a good man will also realize that he is not perfect, as no man or woman is, and should be open to any discussion.
A strong woman definitely does not want a man who is a push-over, but a man who is confident in himself and more importantly in his beliefs.
You said something that is so important, and I wanted to address it before I forget.
Quote: I don't think men should use the "rule of thumb", but I dont think a man should be afraid to communicate to his wife that she is wrong.
A true leader will lead by example, and people will want to follow. This is how it works in anything in life, especially a marriage. A real man will have no need to try to force his wife to follow, she will want to.
I agree a man should tell his wife if she is wrong, but never in public, and always lovingly. When a man and wife become one flesh, it should be the two of you against the world in everything. No one outside of your home should ever see anything but unity. Your marital problems, or any disagreements are private. They should never be discussed with anyone outside of the marriage, with the exception of your Pastor, and then only when necessary.
I have witnessed so many minor problems turned into huge problems, because one spouse tried to correct the other in public. Side with your spouse even if they are wrong, or just say nothing. Remember, you are a team. Then, when you are alone, you can tell them you thought they were wrong. Remember what Bruce said, a man can be gentle without being a wimp. Just always be aware of the others feelings.
Don't argue about their feelings....ALL feelings are legitimate, they are how you feel. Just because you don't feel that way doesn't mean they don't. Always try to be aware of how your spouse feels about things, talk, talk, and talk some more.
Oops, didn't mean for this to be a marriage counseling session.
Thanks for your post, but I have to ask....Did you post a new pic so I would quit accusing you of being 12? LOL. I repent, you don't have to put up new pics, I will be good.
I kind of liked the big smile on the other one. This is a good pic, but in the other one your whole face was lit up by your joy.
I was raised in a home that believed in family values. This was stressed to the point that my great grandmother moved in with us when she could no longer live alone. Rather than ship her off to the nursing home, my sister and I got a 90 year old room mate.
It wasn't always easy growing up with her around. But, she did teach me a lot of lessons. As she had raised my father, the two of them were definitely in cahoots....and so lessons were often reiterated.
One of those lessons was that ladies do NOT initiate conversations with gentlemen outside the family. Grandma was a bit bemused and befuddled by the telephone, but she quickly came to include not initiating a conversation with not calling a boy. Basically, if a boy wanted to speak with my sister or me, he would call. No call meant he did not wish to speak with us. My parents totally agreed. Now, with texting and instant messaging, initiate has to be stretched even further�.but can be done.
I realize this is a very old-fashioned belief taught to me by a lady and gentleman, both gone these many years. However, the lesson �stuck�. On a professional level, I can initiate anything. On a personal level, to paraphrase my students��no way Jose�.
As I watch my students and their interactions, at times I am moved to intercede. They behave in ways totally unacceptable and inappropriate. I share my beliefs in a humorous way that allows me to keep my job�but them to know where I stand. Sadly, the girls initiate more conversations and chase the poor boys into the ground. The boys are so busy running, they don�t know which way to turn. And when they stop running�.yikes. That is NOT good.
I wish you well in helping the next generation. Traditional values have persevered and thrived for some very good reasons. While I am not ready to return to the day when women were property and unable to receive an education, it would be lovely to have men learn to become Gentlemen and assume the role of a man of God. While not an easy task, it is worth the effort in my humble opinion.
I totally agree with you 100% on the united front! To disagree in public or share your disagreements is disrespectful to the other spouse. As one flesh, this doesn't happen.
Bruce,
I agree with Lydia. I never was attracted to "bad boys" but some of my friends have been and I think it's a mix of the two you suggested.
Haha, no I just put up some new pics because they are more current - my hair is much longer than the older ones. It was definitely not because of your comment, lol. Don't worry about that... :excited:
I see what you mean about the other picture though, I'm sure this one will drive me nuts soon and I will have to switch it back.
Come on guys, jump in here. Many of the most beautiful ladies on this site are right here telling you what they want, and expect in a man. Get in here and win them over. You will never have a better chance than right now to initiate contact.
Well I have to call it a night. Besides, my girl will get upset with me if I flirt much more. LOL.
Good night ladies, and thank you all for your comments. You know that without y'all there would be no site. None of us men would stay without wonderful women like all of you. Be blessed.
