I would like to hear your preferred method for choosing a significant other. What is important to you? What are your criterias? Would you just run into a random person, have a great conversation, become friends and get married? only to find out later that you are very different? I mean really how do you decide who is the right person? Would you marry someone who was sexually abused as a child? Would you marry someone who has lots of emotional problems? Would you marry any random guy or girl in a church? Of course, many will say, "No, I want a man who is a man of God" or "woman of God." All right. How do you define a man of God? LOL
In He's word in the book of Isaiah he says "Many are mens' plans but only God's plans prevails." If one would live up to this verse, you'd save your self lots of troubles & pressures from most issues of life. You'd always inquire from the Lord first before doing things that may not be He's plans about your life.
Hope i'm still in line with the asked question.... When reading about God's plans & promise to Abraham, about him being the father of the nations, some events about this passage were diviating a little from God's commandments, but God still made a way since He had a plan to fulfill in Abraham's life. There's a time when Jacob stole Esau's blsssings, its sinful for one to steal according to God,
Though in a long run God protected Jacob from he's father inlaw Laban, who intended to kill Jacob for running away with he's daughters, grandkids & wealth. In a true sense Jacob had a taste of he's own medicine, But cause God had a plan of making Abraham the father of nations, the 12tribes of Israel were born from Jacob (the 12sons that were born to him by both he's wifes when they were competing about having kids)
This was all in line with God's plan. Not even the very enemy Laban could stand against what God meant, even when he cheated Jacob by giving the wrong wife at first, that wasn't an error to God.
In short i'm trying to say:
Our decisions & plans about our lives should rather be in line with God's plan, not expectations & pressure from family & society. Your personal way of going about finding a partner could not even be the right fomuler (if there's a fomuler at all in seaching)
Your partner could be a victim of sexual abuse & a whole lots of kinds of abuse, that will matter not if your plans are what God has intended for your future. He'll make ways of succeeding you guys inspite..... Hense he did with Jacob.
In as much as finding a perfect partner whose not from disfunctioning family, if that's not God's plan for your life, that relationship will somehow fail, when everyone thinks your seaching criteria was right.
Ok. So, you are saying that I should not try to use my head, just go with the flow and trust that God's will is going to prevail. If the relationship will work out fine, then it was God's plan. And if not, then it wasn't His plan.
I see.
Now, let's assume that we are medical students here, and this website is not a dating site but a forum where doctors can chat. If I asked a question about how to do a particular surgery, you wouldn't just tell me, "It doesn't matter how you do it. Just do it however you want to do it, and the way it turns out is going to be God's will, because in the end, God's will is going to prevail always.
In essence, that's what you just told me. Do whatever you want. If the relationship turns out all right, then it was God's will. If the relationship falls apart, then it wasn't God's will.
You're very rude & sound bitter. Your last sentance is offensive, I don't appreciate it. Had I known that you're this kind, wouldn't have bothered to answer you cause I meant well in what i've written in answering you.
People like you ruin the pleasentness of this chattroom. Of all good things that you would have reflacted about your self on an intanational website, you choose to show us that you're arrogant?
Pity you've missed my point all together, you were not worth my effort anyway. Shouldn't have botheres answering you!
If we're going to define "one" as the "right one", then I don't think most of us can answer you very well, and I'd recommend that you ask people who have already had successful marriages(and for you to be a bit more polite to people who do try to answer:nahnah:). The only biblical example I could give you of "soulmates" is Issac and Rebecca, but that's not necessarily "soulmates" and it's not the only example of people getting married in the bible. David had several wives and ended up with one he found thru adultery. Boaz and Ruth, etc. For me personally, I would have to go with LTM's answer. We need to find someone we can "unite" with, specifically "in Christ"(meaning you're both striving for Christ's character). That doesn't really nail down any specifics, but I don't think there really are any. In my case, I'm looking for someone tolerant, open-minded, and shares some attraction/similar interests. As far as whether the person I find is the "right one", I'll only be able to find that out completely after I've spent a lot of time with them. So maybe that's how you decide, if you still like each other after some months of "courting/dating".
Agreed, you will most likely not get your answers here. I do know that God gives us desires for reasons, and they are part of who He has made each one of us to be. Would I see a pretty single face at church and marry him 3 weeks later, most definitely not. I believe that God can recover anyone completely from any abuse, addiction or dysfunction (The way He sees fit), and these would be things for me that I'd cover in the dating stages.
There are a lot of God's people out there who came to finding a TV ministry while surfing, and there are lots who came to him in prisons, beaten, strung out, etc., he loves, called us all. Me being in the same place as you, I appreciate the 'frustraction'.. Probably best to spend your life with your hearts desire. Thing is, my hearts desire isn't what is was 10 years ago, and I blame God for that... hmm.. its a good thing
I recommend reading Genesis 24, the story of Isaac and Rebekkah. This sets a precedent for asking God to choose your mate for you, and give you a clue as to which person He has chosen.
These are the signs I am looking for in a good husband, and what they mean to me...
1) Someone who Loves God
He must be someone who prays, reads his bible, and tries to live in integrity, even when it is the hard thing to do.
2) Someone who Loves Me
As proof of his love, he must show that he is willing to:
...communicate...take the time to work out any issues or concerns we come across, and not just ignore them.
...show self-control...wait for marriage, respect boundaries, and even go so far as to be the example in trying to lead a relationship that is free of sin and close to God.
...show affection/consideration...this is difficult to do when you are trying to live righteous lives, but he would be someone who finds ways to express his feelings and his hopes and his intentions.
3) Someone whom I Love
To know that I love him, I must be able to lift him up in prayer and to think and act on his well-being. I must be able to forgive him quickly of all faults, flaws, and transgressions. I must be able to trust him as a person, and see good interaction between him and my family. I want to be able to see a future, to share dreams, and strive for the same goals. Because, if I am to love, serve, and obey my husband, I want to know that I have chosen someone who leads by example, serves others, and has the same basic hopes for the future that I do.
