This is not easy to post in a public forum...but at 19 there is no older women I personally know to talk to about this.
I am hoping to find just one woman 35+ in age to help me better understand myself, feelings, thoughts, etc. I am NOT interested in meeting you or having sex with you...this is finding a woman for advice. I am really struggling in wanting to have sex with an older woman, a Mom at my church...but it's like in my mind, like a fantasy, not a reality. I want to maintain being a virgin, but it's honestly hard to do. So now that I've totally humiliated and embarrassed myself ...hoping there is just one of you out there willing to counsel me.
If you feel the urge to hate me, tell me I am going to hell, or just in general, a horrible person I understand your feelings. I am not here to upset you, if I have I am sorry.
Well first my brother if we ALL are honest with ourselves, would have to admit that you are not alone with how the relentless effect physical, emotional and psychological stress temptation can and has caused saints in this earth!
So really no one here is in a position to judge you, but to do all that could be done to help encourage, edify and hopefully help correct you in your behavior, but also to pray and come in agreement with you for your deliverance! You are young and like us all who may be a little older, have still so much to learn(smile)!!
Now with all that said, let me share God's Word concerning this issue:
Matthew 5:28 (KJV)-- But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
If I'm not mistaken you spoke in your profile that you desire to remain chaste until marriage, but in your heart you've sinned and you simply now must repent, asking Christ for forgiveness and deliverance!!
And to help you further in your deliverance---Galatians 5:24-25(KJV)--And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Wait on the Lord my friend and He will renew your strength! Who God has for you, is for you and you alone! But you must do this thing His way if you desire His perfect will in bringing you together with your life mate!! Be blessed man of God.
I would go to a counselor. And make sure he is a man, not a woman. It's safer to talk about these things with an older man who has years of experience than with a woman. If you are a man, you should see a male counselor. And if you're a woman, you should visit a female counselor. I think, that would be the safest or most appropriate thing to do.
It is human nature for a man to be attracted to a woman. Your age has nothing to do with it. Your age only signifies that everything is working as it should.
You will not go to hell and there is nothing wrong with you. You are normal. Many women within our society does not realize the pressure that is placed on men. We are accustomed to wearing what we want within the U.S. without realizing that it can drive a man wild inside.
I do not know whether approaching the woman within the church will be received well or something that you want to have others to know. It will be better to offer to help her at times to see what kind of person she is within her private life. She may turn out to be a jerk or a jewel, as well as the attraction may just fall away.
Rest assured, you are not the first or last to admire a woman in the church or have those thoughts. So, free yourself of the guilt....
I will encourage you to get involved within various activities which interest you to minimize the focus on the particular lady should she not prove to be available.
First off, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a normal young man.
I don't know that you need a counselor, but you do need the counsel of a man that can mentor and disciple you. If you have a men's group at your church, I would encourage you to get involved. Find someone that your are comfortable with or talk with the pastor about finding someone that could become a mentor that could help you to grow in your faith and better understand the Bible and what it teaches us about how to live our lives.
I can understand that you would want to talk to someone that could be a mother figure, but a man can better understand where you are coming from because he will probably have been through the same things.
Good luck to you. When all else fails, pray and study your Bible. There are places online where you can find scripture that is best suited for whatever you may be going through. The Bible has the answers, no matter the question.
