Should Christians base their partner selection on appearance alone?
Posted : 4 Nov, 2023 03:44 AM
The world as we know is all about attraction and feeling good, and pleasure seeking. But what about Christian ladies and Christian men as well, shouldn't they have a bit of a higher standard?
Should Christians base their partner selection on appearance alone?
Posted : 29 Feb, 2024 07:02 PM
I am applying this verse out of context.
1 Samuel 16:7. But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
So, people look at outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. We too are to look at the heart. And I think people try to do that. But people get deceived. (Job 13:9) I can't speak for most people. Some look at the outer. Some look at the inner. Some do both. But when it comes down to it, people are further apart than ever and there are irreconcilable differences. Thus, Matthew 19:10. I think every thing is now unrealistic expectations these days. I do not expect to meet anyone in person from this site, but I am here anyway. Not many on the site are from where I live. I'm not worried about it. I hope to meet someone. I don't expect it. I hope to meet a Proverbs 31:12 woman. I don't expect it. Expectations kind of go down the toilet. Norms have changed. They say "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus." Yet here I find a number of conservative women and conservative men in agreement on many things yet not on the same page on significant other things. So there is division that is not going away. Better to serve Christ than to look for a spouse and the world is getting worse all the time, so I hope we unify at least politically because the Far Left sure has.
Of "most if not all that a man expects," I disagree with Handyman on this one.
I do not expect at all. I hope for. I do not think most men expect these things either.
1. Allow a man his God given right to lead the family.
(That is more a wishful thought these days. Now Isaiah 3:12 seems more often true and what are you going to do about it? WOMEN RULE! Our bodies, Our choice! A man cannot even have relations with his own wife these days. She says no, then it is no. And if a woman wants abortion, she has abortion. It does not matter that a husband wants to have the child. You do not know these things before marriage and you do not know how a marriage will unfold. But women have the choice these days and it does not matter what a husband think.)
2. Don't be argumentative
(That would be great! But more marriages are argumentative these days and fewer young people marry because they observe what's going on.)
3. Make him a sandwich when asked
(More men make their own sandwich these days. They don't expect their spouse to do it unless they have a past type traditional arrangement. Kids are preparing their own meals too independent of parents. Just pop something into the microwave and everyone eats at their own time. People fix their own food these days.)
4. If your mans tells you not to do something stupid listen to him!
(Here you can hope reverse psychology will work. Women often have their own money these days, and they want to spend it the way they want to spend it. It does not matter what you say about it. Women often work. Women earn their own money these days often times and they want to spend it the way they want to spend it. They feel they earned it and that they deserve to direct it in anyway they want to direct it. You may be right that something is stupid. I wish I had not bought 99% of the thlngs that I've bought, and I expect many women feel the same too. But how can you expect that they won't buy something stupid when all us buy something stupid. Hopefully, you will have some success. But often they will do the exact opposite UNLESS you present a a winning presentation. Sometimes they will listen to someone else who says the exact same thing, so encourage them to ask a sibling or an in-law.)
5. Stay home raise the kids cook dinner and keep the house clean.
(Do you really think that most men expect that these days? More expect a two income family. More think they won't make it unless both parents are working. Of course, some find that all a two income family does is to leave less money after day care and taxes. But women want to work these days and want to have their own money to spend and don't want to rely on the guy for money from his wallet. They want their own money with their own say. It empowers them to have their own money. More women do not care to stay home and raise kids these days. That's why many post that they don't want kids on here or that they are undecided. That is what you may get in marriage. It doesn't matter what was said before marriage. Words change after marriage.)
6. Take care of his bedroom needs and he will take care of yours.
(Good luck on that! Some say sex ends at marriage.)
I do not think expectations are possible anymore. One has to expect the opposite of what they want. ONE HOPES, but we cannot expect. It is more a gamble.
Should Christians base their partner selection on appearance alone?
Posted : 23 Apr, 2024 12:14 AM
All these dating books I have read claim that men are visual & base their interest mainly on appearance. But I, a woman, very much base my preference on appearance. Neat & cleanliness, too. I cannot possibly feel an attraction to an ugly man.
