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Let's start a Joke thread!
Posted : 20 Feb, 2010 04:37 AM

A Police K-9 squad car was parked by a sidewalk at a mall with the K-9 dog in the back seat. When the Officer returned to his unit he saw a little boy about 5 years old standing on the sidewalk staring at the back window.

"Mr Please Man...is that a dog?" the young boy asked with a serious look on his face...he was almost frowning.



"Why, yes son...that is a dog" answered the officer.



The boys lips were squashed together and he paused for a moment...still staring at that window...then asked the officer "Are you taking him to the lease station?"



The police officer was writing some notes, but stopped briefly to answer "Yes...yes I am"



The little boy took in a deep breath through his nose...turned and looking up at the policeman with his pouting lips and squinting eyes said

"What did he do?" :ROFL::ROFL::ROFL:

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Agnos

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Let's start a Joke thread!
Posted : 15 Mar, 2010 07:48 PM

Linnie, dear sister...

If we have to turn this thread into a serious one... we certainly will do it .... we would all do it because and concerns, happiness and sadness are not so far ones from each other...

I think you do know the way this group reacts... don't you?

We take serious themes, we comment them, we learn from them and we easily we turn the rest of the thread in a party where we all enjoy been together...

We turn a simple letter "b" in a fountain of poems...

Here subject starts and then we let it go freely as a river of joy... or stories about broken hearts.... or testimonies from those who have found their match... and sometimes you can even find "friendly" fights between some of us [ well, not me, Ok? ] :goofball:

I don't know about what happened with Leon... I am sorry...



My point now is... if we have to stop to hug you to comfort you because of the pain you are passing through ... we will sure do it!!!! That is what we are all here for... to find us all in these large world where frontiers keep us apart... to be friends or whatever other thing God wants us to be... in His will...

Linnie... I passed through the grieve of my mom's dead when I was 17 years old... no more details about that story... I just want you to know that I know that pain!!

My sister... if the complete group of Christians on this Earth have to stop what they are doing to comfort only one of them.... They surely should do it because that is what we have been called for... to love one to each other.

Here is my hug... Linnie :angel:



By the chance... one of the jokes I have laughed the most with was that one of the "dwarf" which was not "happy" :ROFL: just look at me after you wrote it...

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Let's start a Joke thread!
Posted : 15 Mar, 2010 08:33 PM

Here's MY hug, Linnie,:angel::glow::angel:

God, Bless you!

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Linnie41

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Posted : 16 Mar, 2010 01:57 AM

Thanks guys, I appreciate the words - I'm doing alright with all of this, I was just thinking and my thoughts ran a little wild. Lol My mom is born again and I know exactly where she is going - unbelievable how comforting that is. This thread doesn't need to turn serious at all. Leon is just a great man of God and it bothered me to see him reprimanded over and over for an innocent joke. (As if he wouldn't get it the first time.)



ANYWHOOOOO.....



A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding...



Officer: May I see your driver's license?



Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.



Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle?



Driver: Oh, it's not my car. I stole it.



Officer: The car is stolen?



Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove compartment when I was putting my gun in there.



Officer: You have a gun in there?



Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the lady who owns the car. She's in the trunk.



Officer: There's a BODY in the trunk?!?



The officer tells the man to hold on, backs off carefully, and calls for backup. Quickly, the car is surrounded by police, and the captain approaches the driver to handle the situation.



Captain: Sir, can I see your license?



Driver: Sure, Officer.



Captain: Hmm, this license is just fine. Whose car is this?



Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.



Captain: Could you slowly open the glove compartment, please, so I can see if there's a gun in there?



Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.



He opens it, and sure enough, there's no gun.



Captain: Would you mind if we opened the trunk? I was told you said there's a body in there.



Driver: No problem.



The trunk is opened, nothing in there but a spare tire.



Captain: The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove compartment, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.



Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too!

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Let's start a Joke thread!
Posted : 16 Mar, 2010 03:11 PM

ok, here's my contribution for today:



During the recent password audit,the IT specialist for the company found that a secretary (won't even mention what color her hair was!)was using the following password:



mickeyminnieplutohueylewiedewiedonaldgoofy



When asked why she was using such a long password, she replied......................................................



Drum-Roll Please!!!





"DUH, you're the one who said it had to be at least eight characters long!":excited:

:ROFL::ROFL::ROFL:

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Posted : 16 Mar, 2010 03:33 PM

Hey !!!! ...:ROFL:...I got that one an Ima blonde...:yay:...Yall are great...thanxs for the daily humors...hava a blessed day/eve...xo

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Posted : 16 Mar, 2010 07:09 PM

Linnie -- :applause: :ROFL:

Good one.



Ed...... ug After working in IT for 22 years I can't laugh at password jokes. But hey - thanks for tryin'!







just kiddding, you know! :waving:

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Posted : 17 Mar, 2010 01:29 AM

Hey EVERYONE!!





I think we've just broken the record for most strings from one thread! The previous record was 10. That was for the thread for "How many candles go on a 40 year old blonde's birthday cake?"



So...HOO...HEE! Where are you Guiness?

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Posted : 17 Mar, 2010 01:40 AM

:ROFL:Alright...Happy St. Paddy's Day!!







What do you call Irish Lawn Chairs?







Patty'O Furniture!!





Mrs O'Leary answered the knocking at her door to find the Town Constable with the Brewery Manager standing there with their hats in their hands.



"Oh No!!!" She cried out "Is it Mr O'Leary?"



"I'm afraid so Mum" replied Constable Quinn "He's dead!"



"Oh Dear...How did it happened?" she asked



Mr Logan, the Brewery Manager spoke up "He slipped and fell in a vat of our Lager"



"Dear...Dear! Did he suffer?"



"Oh Nooo...Mum" both men replied in unison "Actually he got out three times to relieve himself!



TRUE STORY!! :ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL:

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Posted : 17 Mar, 2010 10:22 AM

Hey, Arch,

I heard they had his body cremated and it took 3 days to put the fire out!

:ROFL::excited:

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Posted : 17 Mar, 2010 08:42 PM

I just heard this one: Three friends, an Frenchman, an Italian, and an Irishman all go to a bar together. They all order a beer. Just as the beer mugs are set before them, three files fly down off the ceiling and all three flies land in one beer mug each.

The Frenchman looks at the fly in his beer, and brushes it off to the side. The Italian looks at the fly in his beer, picks it up and tosses it over his shoulder.

The Irishman looks at the fly in his beer, picks it very carefully up with two fingers and starts to shake it, saying, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"

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