A Police K-9 squad car was parked by a sidewalk at a mall with the K-9 dog in the back seat. When the Officer returned to his unit he saw a little boy about 5 years old standing on the sidewalk staring at the back window.
"Mr Please Man...is that a dog?" the young boy asked with a serious look on his face...he was almost frowning.
"Why, yes son...that is a dog" answered the officer.
The boys lips were squashed together and he paused for a moment...still staring at that window...then asked the officer "Are you taking him to the lease station?"
The police officer was writing some notes, but stopped briefly to answer "Yes...yes I am"
The little boy took in a deep breath through his nose...turned and looking up at the policeman with his pouting lips and squinting eyes said
Timmy and his older brother Billy were at the dinner table and there was just one small piece of delicious Spice Apple Pie left. Both boys were eyeing it hungrily!
Mom noticed this and said "You know this could be an opportunity for you two to learn a valuble lesson." She look at both of them and continued " now Jesus, because He Loved all of us so much would say to the other boy...'you take the last slice, it would make me feel very happy if you would do that'"
Mom then placed that last slice on a plate and set it between the two of them. Both boys would look at that slice, then at their brother, then at their mother and back again to that last slice. This went on for a few more seconds and then Billy gave a sigh and slid the plate over to his brother Timmy and spoke
"Alright Timmy...you can be Jesus" and before Timmy could even say "Wa...", Billy had half of that pie in his mouth!
I TOTALLY concur with the awards. Which means I aggree with Archie (Dear God). Gracie Mae, I copied your Grandparents post to all of the grandparents on my e-mail list for a holiday treat. sigh. Just Tout Suite. . . .
And the blonde jokes went to my lovely, 22 year old, direction impaired, knows how to use the busty, ditsy blonde bombshell thing daughter in Colorado. She collects blonde jokes and she informs me last month she is now moving on to her third career in law enforcement. PULL O V E R !!!
There's nothing quite like sitting in the dark at a college computer station in total silence every minute and a half for no apparent reason to make the campus police officer clock out and go home.
Many thanks to all of you for a very Merry Monday!
God's Best for the Rest of your First WEEK OF SPRING! (My born again birthday is the first day of Spring, flowers accepted:glow:
We's going to go a sailing to find Davey Jones locker.
My 1st mate is casper my man eating cat. he's eats captured men.
officer on deck is Leo, she's so mean she can whip twice her weight in wild cats.
The cook is Rejik, she's cooks clams and crabs fer ya to munch on fer snacks.
main course meals is shark or barricuda.
We's going hunting fer fair game.
I's seek treasure and like to kidknap young pretty lasses. I make the rest of those pirates like that sea dog arch and ole' cattle seem like boyscouts.
When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic." Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it.
The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!"
Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak: "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef", and as he sprinkled salt over the meat he said, "and NOW you are a FISH!"
:ROFL:
First PS:
Honestly... it is just a coincidence that the Lutheran's name is "that one" and no other one... believe me I found it that way... it wasn't me...
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One Sunday, a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he had liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."
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Second PS:
Re-honestly... that word �cattle�� well... it is just another coincidence... believe me... :rolleyes:
every minute and a half for no apparent reason to make the campus police officer clock out and go home.