Hello everybody. I've been on this site for a few months. I have met some really nice people. But over the last week, I have meet some very unusual people. One gentleman with multiple communications kept insisting on talking about my "bad" internet dating experiences (even though I told him I hadn't had any serious ones) including "scammers", which he asked me to explain to him. After referring him to the chat forums, I bid him bye-bye. The next gentleman and I had several long chats ending with exchange of phone numbers and a promise to call. He never did. The next gentleman IMs me and talks about himself then asks if I have ever been to a nearby town and how far away is it. That's all he wanted to know Another gentleman after great IM sessions calls me and begins to talk about his date rape experience and his ex live-in girlfriend drugging his dog. Another gentleman whose profile says he is in a nearby state, informs me he is in Italy and wants to come back to the States. I wondered "what is wrong with me that I attract these kind of people?" I was looking at profiles, and saw that one man had simply written "single looking for someone sane" and I thought Amen, brother.
Oh, it's not just you. We all get hit by these wackos on here. One guy IMed me one evening, and after two minutes of conversation asked if we could meet sometime. He lived 5+ hours away. I asked him if he realized that it was a 5+ hour drive, and he said that he did, but he'd still like to meet me. Seriously! After two minutes! Give me a break. We didn't even have anything in common. I told him that I thought it was just a little bit too soon to consider meeting in person, and he became very upset. He said that all girls are alike, and they are worse in the south. He threatened to move to California (like I would care!) because the girls there are nicer. Weird.
The first guy I communicated with on here seemed nice, but after a few weeks of occasional emails, I realized that we didn't have much in common, we disagreed on quite a few important things, and I didn't really see that there was much potential for anything long-term. I didn't want to keep stringing him along if HE thought there was potential, so I gently tried to ease out of regular communication. He didn't take it well, and sent me a rather ugly, hateful message that really hurt my feelings. I was just trying to do the kind thing.
Another guy has me a bit baffled. We chatted via IM maybe four times over a period of about a month. They were fairly lengthy conversations, and he seemed like a really nice guy. He just wasn't on that often, or if he was, I wasn't on at the same time. Anyway, I didn't hear from him for well over a month and a half, and in the meantime, I met the wonderful guy I'm dating now. Then this other guy emails me out of the blue asking me how I'm doing, apologizing for not being online more in recent weeks, and basically wanting to get back in touch. Which was fine with me, as long as it was just as friends. So I emailed him back a nice friendly message and answered his questions, asked some questions about things I knew he was involved in, and shared my good news about being in a relationship (which he should have seen on my profile anyway). I've not heard back from him since. That's too bad, because he really was a nice guy. I guess he couldn't handle that I found someone special? Honestly, there was NO sense of anything serious between us...just casual conversation. Again, weird.
So it's not just you. There are very strange people out there, and some that are just hard to figure out. Be patient, and know that there really ARE some sane folks on here! I've talked to them. I just didn't find one to date on here...that happened on another site with just as many weirdos, but one really great sane guy!!! :applause:
...so I gently tried to ease out of regular communication.
Find one guy that doesn't absolutely HATE when women do this. It's called leading them on, or the run around because it's easier to do that than be honost and upfront. And it hurts because you don't know what she's doing or why she's doing it and never will and it affects you for a real long time. So let me just dispell that myth for all the ladies out there who've never been on the recieving end of that and think it's ok: there is absolutely no kindness in that whatsoever. if you're not interested, the right and kind thing todo is say your not interested and why.
The men that have contacted me have fallen into two categories. (Yes, just two)
The first group are the ones that pressure me (heavily) to immediately leave the site and go offsite to communicate. The second are the blocked members. I see I have a message, I go to respond to the message or wink, only to find they had been blocked. Sometimes I was able to get one response off, other times it was even before I was able to get a response off. A couple of these men were ones who gave me the line: "This is my first time on and you were the first woman I responded to. I just know God has brought us together!" Give me a break!
Still, there are lots and lots of nice people on here and I think it is fun to talk with people all over the country and world.
Hm...thanks for that input, Remp. I've not heard it put that way before, but what you said makes sense. I do think I tried to be fairly straightforward with the guy, but perhaps I tried to be too kind at the same time. Maybe I was stringing him on even though I was trying not to do that very thing. I'll keep your words in mind if I ever have another situation like that. (He was the very first guy who ever contacted me on a dating site, so hopefully I've learned a bit since then!) Either way, it was a bit of an odd situation...and he was a bit of an odd character.
it's ok if you didn't realize it. you don't owe everybody an explaination for everything you do, but if they're trying their best and mean well, but are misguided, giving a notice for some closure for him is the gracious thing to do, i know it's probably not easy and each situation is different, but when you can cut the line instead of keeping us on the hook waiting for us to realize/assume it's not that she's too busy she just doesn't care and then move on, do that instead. even though it sucks a little at the moment, most if not all people would prefer that. when a woman starts weaning us off of communication, it's very confusing, unnecessarily drug out. There've been a couple times where i pre-empted this when i would start getting mono syllable 1 or two sentence responses every few days only to find out that they were still interested.
Thats interesting that you (as a man) would point out this frustration. I share that frustration as well. I am always honest about my interest, I dont just disappear without explanation.
i am Dahlee and I am a subscriber of CDFF for maybe about 2 months now and I can say this Dating website is the BEST and it is my favorite among dating websites and the best thing is IT is free. that is why it is the best ( THE BEST IN LIFE IS FREE) . and even until now I havent seen any very interesting guy here for most of them are divorced. Ouch? Oh sorry, I dont mean to offend you but that is a fact of life, for even you dont want it to happened it happened .Some guys who were interested in me, 3 of them were banned .hehehehehe Is it bad ? definitely not !!! For I feel I am so safe here for they protect me from indecent guys and from scammers .
I encourage you to join us in the chatrooms. But most of the time I stay in 40s room and sometimes in the Prayer room when i want to pray to ask God for something with the help of other christians there . In 40s room , we enjoy exchanging of ideas . There is a free flowing of good ideas there but most of the time we laugh and it is a good stressbusters . We meet many christians who have different views in life but we are united in God''s Spirit. Come on and join us there.Share your experiences, good/bad views in life and laugh and party with us . We will wait for you there . God bless u!!
i am Dahlee and I am a subscriber of CDFF for maybe about 2 months now and I can say this Dating website is the BEST and it is my favorite among dating websites and the best thing is IT is free. that is why it is the best ( THE BEST IN LIFE IS FREE) . and even until now I havent seen any very interesting guy here for most of them are divorced. Ouch? Oh sorry, I dont mean to offend you but that is a fact of life, for even you dont want it to happened it happened .Some guys who were interested in me, 3 of them were banned .hehehehehe Is it bad ? definitely not !!! For I feel I am so safe here for they protect me from indecent guys and from scammers .
I encourage you to join us in the chatrooms. But most of the time I stay in 40s room and sometimes in the Prayer room when i want to pray to ask God for something with the help of other christians there . In 40s room , we enjoy exchanging of ideas . There is a free flowing of good ideas there but most of the time we laugh and it is a good stressbusters . We meet many christians who have different views in life but we are united in God''s Spirit. Come on and join us there.Share your experiences, good/bad views in life and laugh and party with us . We will wait for you there . God bless u!!
