It is unfortunate that only God can possess unconditional love. The reason why we can't use that term here on earth is because of the flesh.
I think much can be forgiven but abuse is the only thing both men and women should not endure. That is the reason why people who possess unconditional love for someone is considered "co-dependent" and is label with a psycho/sociological disorder.
Could we really be as Christ? Be beaten to a bloody pulp and die a slow and agonizing death , forgive and still love the one who is doing it to us? Can we really possess "Unconditional love"?
I Don't have any words of wisdom when it comes to dealing with guys. All I can say is continue the correspondence until the issue of carnality comes up. Then confront the person and ask if they really mean what they say. They may think twice and realize they have acted crudely. If they apologize, maybe calling them out was all it took. If they acknowledge their action as being done on purpose, then send them a thank you and tell them not to contact you again. If it's really bad submit the message for review.
As far as getting to know the disposition of a person the forum post will give you an idea on their thoughts and character. Hopefully the ones contacting you actually feel the need to fellowship and participate in the forums. All people of intelligence have thoughts they would like to express and gets a feeling of satisfaction when the wisdom God gives them actually benefits another. Part of being a good disciple.
Good luck, hope things get better for you, and may God bless you richly.
Are christian guys shy of posting a picture? or posting an updated one?
Posted : 27 Jan, 2009 08:16 PM
As far as anyone posting a photo on their profile, I think it's an insecurity issue, or they have a problem downloading a pic (the most common explaination).
Some guys don't get it, a guys appearance is the first thing that attracts a woman's attention, then women want to know whether or not a guy's got something to say. The less he's got to say the more "boring" he's gonna be. If he sounds like all the rest then his looks are the only thing that makes him different. If a guy sounds intelligent then women are more apt to drop him a note, if he reveals any kind of baggage then don't even expect a wink.
Guys if you want women to notice you go out and get some decent pics....don't post "mug shots" and don't have them older than 2 years, you don't change much in that period of time, well, for guys maybe the amount of hair. Got out and get fit (or at least wear something that makes you seem that way) and include a full body shot. Gals...the same goes for you, if you got nothing to wear that looks like it came outta grandma's closet then put on a man's t-shirt (if you can pull it off, a tank top) and a pair of jeans (I say that because I think that make a woman look "down to earth").
Remember, you're gonna get a lot more responses if you have a picture posted.
This is for both guys and girls..Do you believe it is okay to hold hands ,kiss,ect. while dating or engaged? Or do you believe you should abstain from all physicall contact until you are married/wether you were married before or not?
Posted : 27 Jan, 2009 11:58 AM
Brother Leon,
You asked me to present an example where the flesh can be not tempted into carnality.
The character of the man, the interaction of Jesus and Mary Magdolene. Did she not wash his feel with a sweet smelling potion and her hair? Did He not caress her face and gently put His fingers under her chin and raised her face to speak to her? Did He not kiss her on the forehead?
In the lost book of Thomas, it was also implied that the disciples were jealous because Jesus would kiss Mary on the lips. I speak this not out of blasphemy. But we may have re-evaluate our feelings on how our emotions are shown to the one we love.
It is up to the integrity of the man, how strong his faith is and how spiritually connected he is to God. Man being of the flesh is the one to be more tempted by the flesh.
So it is not a sin to express you affections physically, the only sin comes through temptation. Woman, use discretion and cleave yourself to one who is of the Lord so you will not be cast into sin.
Imagine being at a "get together", a room filled with people. As you stand there you look around the room, you eyes would stop and focus on certain individuals because there was an item that caught your attention. You would not rush over and start talking to that person, unless what caught your eye develops your interest.
If one is busy talking to someone, maybe on a cordial level, they may not feel impelled to excuse themselves and take a trip over to that individual and make an introduction. But if there is a "locking" of eyes, sometimes the one who is not engaged in conversation should take the initiative. Tap the person on the shoulder or wink at them.
So that is how I relate a "dating site", a get together. Don't be put off, but feel free to take some initiative. Where else could you go there are thousands of individuals who are open to get aquainted with? What did you do at the last "New Years Eve" event you attended?
I don't agree with this but would you ever date some woman who wanted to wait until her "Wedding Day To Be Kissed"
Posted : 26 Jan, 2009 04:16 PM
I think I know where Lynda is going with this. This is what I can present.
I think this is an issue that may be more important to the ladies in that they can be suduced by eloquent individuals, "prince charmings". What woman would not want the tender touch (the soft caress of her arm), the intertwining of fingers, a meaningful kiss of the lips of one they find handsome, intelligent, and virile? That in itself creates a longing and an urgency in being reunited with her future partner.
Imagine (guys and gals) having expectations, being excited on your wedding day, and during your honeymoon when you go to consumate the union....it's not there, no fireworks, no flame, nothing. It's ok though you have the rest of the time together to get things rocking...but what if it doesn't happen? Ugh, you should have taken the car around the block before buying it. Here you showed this person off to all your friends, made them part of your family, vowed to be devoted to them for the rest of your life and you find out God's grestest gift He gives to a man and a woman is not available for you. That's ok though, as you two grow you learn to live with eachother for companionship, your learn to "feel love" for eachother right? If you're past the age of desiring children.
What about the young? The ones who still haven't "really" experienced life, who are exposed to all the cute little love story movies? There it is on the big screen, "hunky,sweet" lead actor arm in arm with "cute, adorable" lead actress. The guy sitting next to his mate sees her shedding tears, has to make you wonder why she's shedding those tears. If she doesn't turn to her man and look at him with longing and says "I love you" I think there should be a discussion in the car on the way home.
So, we promise ourselves to our "friend", someone who we've spend casual time "goofing" (by "goofing" I mean all the non-carnal kidding around) with. There's no mystery there, you never had any "special" feelings for them in the time you've known them. Yet it would be safe to marry them and have a happy and fulfilling life with them.
