How far will guys take learship in cases like these?
Posted : 27 Feb, 2015 08:17 PM
Sorry to offend, you, sisygirl.
I don't see my reflection in a non-custodial father trying to evade child support. I'm a custodial father who knows better than to expect child support.
But once the family has been dissolved, a man can no more lead his ex-wife than a woman can raise children who aren't hers. Can a woman be a good mom? Sure! But not if the kids in question are not under her care and authority. Can a man be a good husband and leader? Sure! But not to a woman who's not under his care and leadership.
Perhaps I've misunderstood you, however. Some of this sounds like we're not so much arguing against each other as arguing against misunderstandings of what the other said.
How far will guys take learship in cases like these?
Posted : 27 Feb, 2015 07:36 AM
I don't know about how often each gender initiates the divorce.
But there are different custody arrangements. Joint custody is theoretically 50/50. In which case both parents, if responsible, will have a lot of input for the kids.
If one is non-custodial, he or she has very limited input. It's a fact of divorced life.
A non-custodial parent is usually expected to provide financial support. A responsible parent won't try to avoid that. But ... I think the OP is discussing an irresponsible father anyway.
How far will guys take learship in cases like these?
Posted : 24 Feb, 2015 01:18 PM
Yeah, that's complicated.
OK, a wife is subject to the husband ... as you quoted. But he's not her husband now. Whether the divorce was right or wrong, it happened. And since one has remarried, there's no Biblical way of bringing this couple back together.
As for the step-family, half-sibling, step-sibling dynamic, I've been studying the articles here.
It's kind of messy. But, given that new families have formed, the best thing for everyone, especially the kids, is the stability of those new families.
Now, the non-custodial father has a duty to provide, at least at some level, for his kids. Not for his ex-wife's kids by her new husband or boyfriend, but for his. And if it's a US situation, the law should be enforcing that. He also has a moral obligation to guide the kids as well as he can in the situation.
But ... if both sides were living up to all their moral obligations, they'd still be married. One or other or both is not a reliable, faithful, responsible individual. So nothing short of criminal behavior surprises me about the ex-husband -- assuming he was the one whose actions caused the divorce.
I'm not saying it's all his fault. I'm not saying it's all her fault. But somewhere there's a fault. Meaning ... we already know that Christian behavior cannot be expected from all parties at this point.
I also have a minority interpretation of Revelation.
As I understand it, the New Jerusalem is identified as the Bride of Christ. It is a metaphor for the church.
Nero as one of the beasts ... I'm probably going to agree with you there, but not ready to be dogmatic.
Christ's return within John's lifetime -- yes. I understand a "coming in judgement" rather than a bodily return to be what was prophesied. And that was fulfilled at the AD 70 destruction of Jerusalem.
Have you read R.C. Sproul's book, The Last Days According to Jesus? I find myself agreeing more than disagreeing there.
How far will guys take learship in cases like these?
Posted : 23 Feb, 2015 11:34 AM
There are so many variables.
* Was abuse involved in the divorce?
* By which side?
* Who has custody of the children?
* Which parent is remarried / re-involved so there's a pregnancy?
As a single dad divorcing over abuse and having custody ... I can be careful about what I say about the kids' mom. If she were to remarry, I could explain to the kids that since we divorced she is legally free to do so. (I'd privately check that the guy wasn't a sex offender before the kids would visit with him present.) But mostly I'd just keep building my own relationship with the kids.
But the ex-husband has no headship as far as the ex-wife is concerned.
Now, if the mom has custody and the dad was abusive ... we already know he has no sense of Christian headship.
How far will guys lead? It depends a lot on the guy but also on the opportunities the situation affords.
>> But most guys my age are absolutely empty mentally, even those who are older. That's why I'm wondering if those claiming to have found partners are maybe compromising their requirements for a sake of settling and fitting inn?
Perhaps ... they're less ready to write off entire generations of the opposite sex as "mentally empty" :) There are plenty of the shallow, non-intellectual men of any age -- but by no means all. The same can be said of women.
Of course it's mutual, but if she and I thought alike, holding hands frequently would start by the time we were using the "courtship" term.
Putting an arm around her when sitting together probably would too. Kisses ... might well wait until the wedding kiss. Or not. I'm not sure. I will be very cautious of hugs. I know and miss the feeling of a woman in my arms and, having been married 14 years, formed habits of some pretty intimate hugs.
Lol, you have a point. The idea of a significantly younger woman has its physical attractions, but an age gap of a generation doesn't sound like much of a partnership.
I've set my criteria for 10 years younger to 5 years older than myself. Sometimes I look at a profile in which the woman is 10 years younger than me and think, "She looks barely out of high school! I couldn't date her!" On the other side of it, a woman with grandkids the age of my youngest child seems almost like a mismatch too. So I don't think I'm looking for anyone more than 5 years older than myself. Get to mid-40's and grandparenthood is becoming a likelihood. With 5 kids under 12 ... I'm not sure I'm ready to be a grandpa!
