so I met this very attractive man who kept telling me he just wanted to meet a normal girl and start a life with her.
We decided to meet at...you guessed it,Starbucks. We are sitting outside, conversation is a bit uncomfortable (for me) because I'm the one that seems to be keeping the conversation going and I'm running out of things to say.
anyway, he says "hey, are you thirsty? Let's go inside and get something to drink?" I told him I couldnt drink coffee that late but he said, dont worry, just get a cup of tea or something.
so we go inside to order and the guys looks at me to take my order and order a green tea...I look back to him to see what he wanted and he said "oh, no, we're going dutch"
so I proceed to take out my debit card to pay for my $1.95
green tea.
not that I expect the men to pay for everything but man, I was emberassed for him and I kinda felt like getting my tea and walking to my car and leaving.
Maybe since you ordered first and then looked at him for him to order, he thought YOU were planning to get HIS! You probably just shocked the socks off him and he panicked, causing him to say y'all were going dutch. :angel:
On second thought, nah. Your take on the situation is much more realistic!!! :devil:
Epic fail on that guy. My fraternity brothers always used to make jokes about having man cards and gaining or losing man points. That guy must have forgot his man card that day.
I don't understand the rules very well now that women have rights and jobs and all that.
I just pay for everything. It's easier on my nerves.
However, there have been times where I overstepped my bounds paying for things. Independent women frequently expect to go dutch early in a relationship, or before there is actually a "relationship." Also, deeper into a relationship, girls tend to want to pay for things occasionally, but usually there's time to talk about it at that stage.
So, especially in the early stages, I frequently get a little nervous about assuming that I am expected to buy everything. I want to be gentlemanly, but I don't want to look chauvenistic. If I can't read the girl, and there are so many different opinions and feelings and everything out there, I don't know, it just becomes hard to make a call.
Ultimately, my paying for things isn't going to do any damage that some conversation can't fix. If the girl wants to be independent, I can let her get me back on something else later. If the girl expects me to pay, it's all good. But in the dude's defense, things can become more awkward and more sticky regarding who pays for what in this 21st century world we live in now.
That's a good one. I once met a guy to go to a movie and dinner. We arrived at the theater, and since we had already decided ahead of time what we were going to see, we got in line. He let me go first. So when a casher opened up I went up to the window, sneaking a glance behind me to see what he was doing. He was behind me. I s-l-o-w-l-y opened my purse and s-l-o-w-l-y took out my wallet. Nothin'. So I paid for my own ticket.
When we sat down to eat later, he said that since I paid for my own ticket he would pay for dinner. Which I thought was a very good way to handle that somewhat awkward situation.
i think if it is a date, then the man should pay for whatever you are doing or at least offer to pay. if you are going as friends only then i think it's proper to not pay or be expected. i'm sorry that you ran into a guy that doesn't seem to get that concept. that isn't funny it's just plain sad :P
That's why you tell them to go ahead first. Then if they ask you after they order it works out ok. I think it's a good way for the man to start off by paying for at least the first date. Also if they ask you out then they should expect to pay.
