I want to know the honest opinion of men who view themselves as Godly gentlemen on here by lifestyle not just name only. The question I would pose is this do you think less of a Godfearing woman for being on this Christian website, Do you believe that we are searching for a man whille on here. When clearly God speaks of the man( Proverbs 18:22) searching out the woman. God designed Eve for Adam, Issac found Rebekah, Jacob found Rachael, David found Abigail, King Ahasuerus found Esther, and Boaz found his Ruth. If being on here causes women to be settling for plan B over God's ultimate plan A. I would love some clarity. Because one I do not want to circumvent what God is doing nor do I want to be putting the cart before the horse, no pun intended nor insult meant by this comment. Just perplexed I've gone back and forth with this. I've heard great things about online dating relationships and I also have heard horror stories. Wanting to follow the will of God in every area of my life.
I know that you've intended your question for guys specifically. I'd like to share my view on this if you won't mind me doing so.
In regard with Abigail and David, Abigail availed herself to David when she met up with him and pleaded that he changes his mind not to kill guys from her country. If it hadn't been for her wise move of meeting and providing David and his fellows with food, these two would have met the hard way when David was now killing guys from Abigail's country. Including her very husband. I doubt they would have fallen in love had this been the case!
Same goes with Ruth. These ladies had to expose them selves to relevant places to be recognised and approached. Rebekah was very fortunate to be found home in her father's house. That's not very usual. I therefore consider christian ladies partaking here being in a relevant place to meet up with christian brothers who are equally yoked with them.
Apologies once more for partaking in a mans' topic. I trust that you don't mind me doing this.
You did not create it! It was before we both were born. Just ask you this thing: What would you do if any man, here or outside, ask you to be married.
If I asked you, marry me, you would be afraid of me (or I�d be utterly rejected) for whatever reason you or your family thinks it fits, because it isn�t easy to step up, even to simply love each person as she or he is.
So you are not guilty, it is our fears, our decisions, those we fear to go any further to surely love, risking our lives to keep the person we chose to love.
What if a person largely lacked self-acceptance his/her whole life?
Will he (or she) be attained to any religion to "believe" he/she is worthy of love, just by thinking "God and Jesus loved me first"?
That�s is where MANY have used their religions (even Christianity) to cope with an idol no one is willing to deny or admit publicly.
If I can�t love me, as I am, it will hard to love others, the way they might be, too.
Mat 22:39 The second most important commandment is like this one. And it is, "Love others as much as you love yourself."
This is where many of us fall short.
Such is the idolatry of the self, the �hidden� idol we surely have missed and kicked off when neglecting and despising us came to happen, as well as hurting those we�ve left alone.
Speaking as a Christian man who strongly believes in the traditional gender roles -- no, I see no problem with Christian women making themselves approachable. Personally, I have no problem with women initiating the conversation.
Actually, in the examples you cited, women initiated the contact about 1/2 the time. Ruth, Abigail and Rachel all stepped up in a way that was appropriate. Ahasuerus has little to do with godly manhood. He was as pagan a king as they come.
Now, when a friendship forms that has romantic potential, I will lead in the matters of asking the lady out, opening doors, directing the conversation more often than not, etc. If I remarry, I will set the spiritual direction in the home.
But I want a suitable assistant whose wisdom and determination to follow God coordinate with mine. I want to be able to go on the occasional business trip or sleep off the occasional illness without fear that the direction will be changed. I want an assistant who will give the kids good biblical answers if she is the one they ask -- not stuff I must go and unteach. (The example that comes to mind about needing to unteach it was, "First, God is not a person". I heard that and responded, "First, God IS a person!")
I want a woman to walk beside me, not behind me. But WITH me, not AGAINST me!
I don't expect her to water my camel train, glean my field, or stop me from war in order for me to notice her. But if she comes up in a search on a Christian dating site, that helps!
From the way you have phrased your question I assume that you are unsure about the medium of introduction only. So ...make a choice. When you go to the supermarket you choose what cookies to buy and you strike up a conversation with a handsome prince charming or a not so handsome toad on the relative merits of one brand of cookie over another. You chat to the guy at the gas station and your smile makes his day although you may never see it ...You meet a guy at the cafe...blah blah...You chose to serve the Lord and He blesses you for it. Your choice.
The medium of the internet chat room is no different from any other medium of communication in life, except perhaps you must seek the gift of discernment in a greater measure. Make a choice based on relative merit to your lifestyle.
The Lord wants you in particular to exercise the gift of discernment, only then can you make choices based on His will. The medium of introduction is irrelevant.
I agree with most of what the guys had to say here. Except for one thing, and I encourage everyone on this thread to read Ruth's story again. What she did to get Boaz to propose was positively scandalous. Also yes she was the one who followed her mother in law back to her people and left behind her own to go with her. Further she was the one who went out to glean and found his field.
Must admit I've wondered the same thing though, if I am doing what God wants in being on dating sites. As for this site, I definitely think God is behind it because of all the fellowship and friends that I've come across. As for other sites no I'm really not sure and doubt they will yield much of anything. You know this question of 'how God would have us meet our mate' makes me think of a short film I saw a while back, if I can find it I'll post it. It'll make you think a bit.
My last thought is "men who view themselves as Godly gentlemen on here by lifestyle not just name" shouldn't be who you're seeking the opinion of. Lifestyle has nothing to do with following God. 'As many are led by the spirit of God are sons of God.' Those who are led by the spirit of God have been led to do many things that wouldn't seem like a 'good Christian lifestyle'. Being Christian has little to do with lifestyle and much to do with the spirit and being led in it.
Remember, it was God that brought Eve to Adam all the while Adam was totally unaware of her existence. I don't believe it is wrong to assume a woman's ultimate goal is to find someone to share her life with if she is searching on a dating site, unless she is otherwise very specific for being a member. And, personally, I believe that God is able to use any avenue He chooses to match make the mates He Himself has created for each other. The only caution I would urge is to not limit God's ability to our one's own understanding, (Prov. 3:5,6) and let Him direct your path.
First of all, it was "Boaz" that left the corners of the field for her to glean. My point here is, Boaz already had his eye on her, and secondly, it absolutely was not wrong for her to go and initiate the romance and lay at the feet of Boaz's bed because there were no son's to whom she could be joined with. Boaz even went himself and made sure there were no other's who could lay claim to her and when he found a relative that could, he refused to do so.
