I currently am in a rough patch in my life. I look around at everyone and they all have great things happen for them. I don't think I've had one good thing happen to me in 10+ years to be honest. I don't understand why and everything I do becomes bad luck.
For instance, almost everyone I know is married or has a significant other. Me, any time I date it never works out. I don't like anyone who likes me either. I've actually given up fully on that. Also, I have one best friend whom I never see and I'd like to even have lunch with a friend or two but no one even acts like I exist. It's extremely upsetting because I feel alone. Every weekend, I spend it alone or spend hours at home doing nothing.
I am incredibly grateful for what I do have like a roof over my head, food to eat, health, job, etc. But I feel like I don't have what 99.9% of others have. They usually travel, have a nice house, car, money, etc. Of course, the ones that do have lots of things have a few bad things that have happened to them too. To top it off, my mom is sick too at the moment.
But I need to know why I have such bad luck? Am I just meant to have nothing?
" Me, any time I date it never works out. I don't like anyone who likes me either "
That sentence right there is very telling and to put it bluntly it shows you're just to darn picky. You're not the only one as it's a very common problem with most modern women. Because of that many women are going to end up unmarried and childless for the rest of their lives.
" But I feel like I don't have what 99.9% of others have. They usually travel, have a nice house, car, money, etc. "
This is also a big issue and I'm sure is part of the reason you reject so many men. You're looking for the man that can give you this fairy tail life. Realistically there are not many men out there that can give you that life. And the ones that can have their pick of any woman they want.
So why don't they pick you? Because to put it bluntly, you're not what they're looking for. What you're suffering from is hypergamy on steroids. You want a 666 man. 6 foot tall, 6 pack abs with a 6 figure income. The problem with that mindset is those men make up less than .05% of the population.
The solution for that mindset is to lower your standards and that will only happen through divine intervention, so you're going to need to seek Jesus and ask for him to change your mindset and prepare you for a typical Christian man.
But be warned that if you try to seek an average man without a priorities adjustment first, you will never be happy with those men.
I'm going to blunt here, and I'm not saying this to be rude, but rather helpful. You have 516 guys who favorited you, but you said none of them where good enough, you also said none where close enough... but at the same time you dated a guy a few states over??? and you're talking to a guy from anther county so distance is not the problem.
You said there is one local to you but I see 160 active men ages 20-35 in your city on this very site. You said you never meet anyone when you go out but you live in a city with over a million people.
i'm sorry but you're ether extremely picky or not even trying at all.
my advice is to message all 160 guys here in your city, not just the guys you find hot or something, all of them. and same goes for guy nearby and those that favorited you, all 516 of them. don't worry of they are fay away, they might have family near by or travel/work in your area.
Same for church, have you spoken to everyone single in your church? asked all of them out, and I meant all of them? not just the hot ones or rich ones, all of them?
Ask all your friends if they know anyone singles, same with co workers and the folks at church. go to every bible study, fellowship and D group at church, the singles/young adults group and so on. and most importantly talk to guys, give them your number and ask to go do something.
it's important to remember you're never going to know what a guy is like by just looking at them, you need to give them a chance and take time to get to know them. and they're never going to know you exist if you're locking your self up at home isn't putting yourself out there. turn the phone off and go outside and make yourself known.
And when a guy messages you don't just delete the message like you did mine a few months back. sorry I had to add that 😝
lastly and don't take this the wrong way, I work with the disabled and foster families and other people who struggle emotionally and mentally, I see a lot of signs of anxiety in you witch might be a big part of the problem.
Austin93a there must be something in your profile she finds icky, otherwise she would probably be allover you like white on rice.
Do you have any pictures of yourself on your profile? If not maybe that's the problem. It doesn't take much for a woman to find something she doesn't like especially since what women want changes throughout the day and half the time they really don't even know what they want. And if they do it's probably not best thing for them anyway.
she nether read my message nor looked at my profile. my message was deleted without her even opening it like so many others.
I had to remove my photos as they got me nothing but bad attention and lewd messages online. I'm told i'm highly attractive and that unfortunately lands me attention only from women with lust problems and I really don't want to risk getting more of those kinda messages. it really doesn't matter anymore as nothing i'll ever do is good enough to get the attention from any girl that can like me for who I am. I gave up looking and keep my account on private whenever i'm not logged in to post here. 10 years of constant failure and never so much as making it past a simple hello taught me it's worthless to keep trying.
You can talk about a guy needing to be rich, fit or tall all you want but I know for a fact that doesn't help.
it's the same with being a leader in church or your community, they don't want a guy who can lead ether.
you can talk about how a guy needs to be friendly, outgoing, funny and nice but it doesn't work ether.
you can talk about a guy needing to be of strong faith but sadly that doesn't help ether.
good with children... nope actually Im told wanting kids is a major red flag of women today.
wanting commitment or having priorities is no good ether.
wemon just don't want anything to do with me or men anymore. I got 30 guys in the singles group I lead, no women want them ether. so it's not just me. women don't want men and I'm just done playing their game.
it's really disappointing because I spent the last 10 years wasting my time trying to find someone and working towards becoming a better man and a gaining the skills needed to be a good father and husband.
I took classes on how to raise kids i'll never have.
started a collage savings account for the kids ill never get see grow up.
I sat in and helped with both premarital and marital cousinly at church to help give me the skills to navigate the pitfalls of marriage and a relationship i'll never get to have.
I bought a big house I never get to raise a family in.
I worked my hind end off to have a good stable income to spend on the family i'll never have.
I spent 10 years going to every church event, every singles night, every fundraiser, volunteering at every charity in the area, I church hopping as far as 200 miles away. and what do I have to show for? 3 hello's from women I met I person that ended at that, getting my head ripped off for saying hello to women at church multiple times, getting stood up on nearly a dozen blind dates, having everyone pass my table when I tried speed dating, I sent thousands of messages on multiple sites and only scammers and trolls replied to me, and tons of messed up people sending me dirty messages online.
it's really disappointing but it's a dream I just have to live with never being able to fulfill.
What most modern women don't want as a lover is a nice guy. They'll have him as a friend, take advantage of him and string him along for as long as they can. So one of the biggest problems is most men are just too nice to women and it's doubly so for Christian men.
These men are called symps and are part of the problem because they are so willing to let women walk all over them. What that does is give women a false sense of their worth in the dating/marrying world.
Most men also think most women should see things logically like men do but that rarely happens.
I'm no expert on how to approach women to get a date, but what I do know is that 99% of it is what's called your game and is just the modern term for a pick up line.
I saw a short utube video of a guy that would use different pickup lines on random women at the beach and at a college. I was surprised at how corny some of them were but they worked at least some of the time.
Another problem men have is after they actually get a date. More often than not he will not get a second date because there again women are so picky that if the man doesn't do everything just right he toast.
There are also many professional dating women that just go on dates with different men to get free expensive meals.
Most women want to be led by a man so being to nice will be a red flag to them. Leading can also be a problem because if the man doesn't properly impress them in the beginning or anytime along the way then she won't respect his leadership.
But those darn 666 men will have a lot more leeway with almost any woman and most of those women will actually share a 666 man with other women.
My views and experience (along with other men's views and experiences) may not apply to all women but exceptions don't make the rule.
The reason I'm taking the time to tell you these things is to get you to understand that because the modern women's mindset is a tough nut to crack. You need to change your tactics.
But you seem to think very highly of yourself and that you're doing everything right. And yet you do a lot of complaining about how you can't even get the time of day from the women you want to date.
I think your financial success in this world has made you to prideful and has stuck a huge log in your eye. One example is how you think you're a natural leader. Which I don't buy for a second because women flock to "natural leaders" and yet you can't even find a woman to lead. So something ain't right and I believe it's you.
Austin, stop acting like a child just because someone called you out. You’re obviously not a leader or you would have a woman. Maybe you can’t find a woman who wants to hear you complain about yourself all day, on the Internet and everywhere else.
