CDFF has the option of selecting an age range for people who can message you thus showing that you are interested in meeting people in a certain age bracket. I have noticed some things though when checking out women. Some young girls of say 18 may have an age range of 18 - 30, which makes sense since they want someone close to their age. Some other young girls have no age range, maybe they just don't know how to select it, prefer manual selection so to speak or want the broader range of opportunities. The same way with some old women, some set the filter to meet only someone older than them, some don't of course. Strangely enough some older women set the filters low as to meet younger guys than them. Now my question is..what determines this behavior? If you are more valuable you deserve a younger partner? What determines that value or perceived lack of value? Country, appearance, social status?
If you convince the majority of woman they deserve the best this leaves the majority of men believing they are not good enough for anyone other than left over woman... which gets worse as more and more woman get left over.
This means most people never pair off due to delusions and insecurities which are made even worse because on one hand woman stop doing the work to make themselves actually desirable and men give up hope of finding any woman they desire that will give them the time of day.... meaning that most men stop trying to persue most woman due to the by now ingrained belief that they cannot succeed.
Although both men and women are at fault for falling for Satan's tricks. I would give the majority of the blame to women. With millions or more of average men out there
who are ready and able to take care of those millions of women looking for a man. The majority of those women have set their standards to high because they have allowed themselves to be convinced that they are superior to an average man and God did not put women over men
Mr Handyman, I just want to make one thing straight here. Its not that as a woman I take myself superior, NO. Those men you call 'average' , most of them carry their problems from previous relationships. In our past marriages in my case there were problems I at one time or another regretted secretly why I married that particular guy. So its ease to see the future well before the relationship goes further. For example on the first date, you meet and spent 3 to 4 hours discussing different matters in order to know each other better, and during that time the average man does not buy even a drink for me to drink. I do that on 2 or three occasions. Eventually you can see he is not a marriage material. Another one you find him coughing all throughout the discussion. The next you find he is a pastor looking for a woman to finance him, etc. At our age either a woman or man should not be found without source of income. We had all the time to build up. One should be able to take care of herself or himself. That's my belief
" Those men you call 'average' , most of them carry their problems from previous relationships. In our past marriages in my case there were problems I at one time or another regretted secretly why I married that particular guy. "
It's sad that you're divorced. All marriages have problems and 99% of the problems couples have aren't biblically sound reasons for divorce. And yet Christian women are divorcing their Christian husbands in droves.
" So its ease to see the future well before the relationship goes further. For example on the first date, you meet and spent 3 to 4 hours discussing different matters in order to know each other better, and during that time the average man does not buy even a drink for me to drink. I do that on 2 or three occasions. Eventually you can see he is not a marriage material. "
Most modern women expect men to bend over backwards and pay for everything simply because they are female. The only women who deserve that kind of treatment are the one's who are truly feminine. Sadly though most women don't want to be feminine anymore because they think it's demeaning for them and yet they want the men to continue to be masculine. In other words women want all the benefits without making the effort.
" Another one you find him coughing all throughout the discussion. The next you find he is a pastor looking for a woman to finance him, etc. At our age either a woman or man should not be found without source of income. We had all the time to build up. One should be able to take care of herself or himself. That's my belief "
Your hypergamy is showing. The first thing you look for is someone who will benefit you financially. And while that's a natural tendency of women it's been taken to the extremes in modern society.
Most men don't care how much money women make and even an average mans income is enough to marry and raise children without the woman working. But most women won't settle for that kind of lifestyle as she thinks it would mean she would be settling for a less than perfect situation.
Biblically there's nothing in the scriptures that say's a man must be wealthy before a woman can marry him let alone have children.
There's much I could pick apart in your writings. But the honest truth is I don't feel like going into to much depth right now.
Handman, thank you for your contributions. I have learned a lot but I have a few things to correct.
Firstly I am not a divorcee but a widow. Weaknesses in my marriage did not make me divorce but believed God would make it work. I understand there is noone 100% perfect.
On benefits, I dont look for financial benefit from man. A man should be able to care for me while I show love to him. God took only one rib from Adam to give him an assistance. I might have money or not, that should not affect the relationship. Even though I am aging, I need that sweet care. Buying some flowers and saying I love you. It goes a long way in a relationship, even though I have the monies to do it all myself. First impression stays longer. I wont mind how much I will later spend on him.
My position is that those 'average man' should show that they are flexible with their few dollars. May they avoid putting us off on first date. I always offer my card to buy favorite meal each time I find financial dryness on the 'average man' s side. Some accepts but others with their dry lips, refuse. Maybe they are looking for an aging woman to help them built their failed destiny and once done they leave the aging woman for better ones, its sick I tell you
" Handman, thank you for your contributions. I have learned a lot but I have a few things to correct.
Firstly I am not a divorcee but a widow. Weaknesses in my marriage did not make me divorce but believed God would make it work. I understand there is noone 100% perfect. "
My mistake on the divorce so thank you for clearing that up.
" On benefits, I dont look for financial benefit from man. A man should be able to care for me while I show love to him. God took only one rib from Adam to give him an assistance. I might have money or not, that should not affect the relationship. Even though I am aging, I need that sweet care. Buying some flowers and saying I love you. It goes a long way in a relationship, even though I have the monies to do it all myself. First impression stays longer. I wont mind how much I will later spend on him. "
From what you've said previously and what other women typically say. Yes you want to be taken care of, but since you have your own money you will not date down. In other words he has to have at least the same amount of money as you have or more. Women rarely want a man who doesn't financially better their lives.
And another thing. Women want a man to be romantic, but will never be romantic to a man.
" My position is that those 'average man' should show that they are flexible with their few dollars. May they avoid putting us off on first date. I always offer my card to buy favorite meal each time I find financial dryness on the 'average man' s side. Some accepts but others with their dry lips, refuse. Maybe they are looking for an aging woman to help them built their failed destiny and once done they leave the aging woman for better ones, its sick I tell you "
In westernized countries most women get useless college degrees and then get cushy jobs in air conditioned buildings. While most men are out there in the heat, cold snow and rain busting their humps making the lives of everyone including women's much better. In general men's lives are much tougher than a woman's and yet all we hear from many of these women is how hard their lives are women and how easy it is for men.
Sadly women have been given a false sense of a mans worth so if he doesn't want to waste his hard earned money on a women who he perceives as not worthy of that that money then more power to him.
For the moment I'm going to take God out of the equation and say this:
If all the men were to disappear of the earth today, within a couple days society would brake down and most if not all women would die within month's.
On the other hand if all women disappeared, then most men would survive and thrive until they died of old age.
My point in saying that is most women put far to much value on themselves and far to little on the average man.
I believe one of the greatest attributes men have is their ability to break complex things down into simple manageable pieces and a woman greatest liability is to take simple manageable pieces and to complicate them.
This is the main problem, all previous rules of thumb don't apply any more.
It used to be that a man needs to pay for dates because it displays his ability to feed the woman.... that's all, it was reframed as "romance" but it's really nothing of the kind, it's a primal signaller that woman pretend is something ephemeral. This gradually stopped with feminism both because even non-feminists were infected with the ideology without realizing it and because the economic realities changed.
More men now than ever simply cannot afford to pay for anything other than themselves, more woman now don't need them to, the signalling device has become a relic of the past still kept around for the sake of it's rustic appeal. Men are required to signal wealth they don't have to woman that have enough of their own.... it's stupid.
If you want to pretend this is not the case that's fine... but you can't say you weren't warned. People need to wake up and realize that coupling is resetting from "what will please me for the next few years" back to defaults of "what do I need for the next half of my life". You simply cannot measure potential partners the way you used to anymore it's not realistic.
You have to refactor your needs and admit what are merely wants. If you want a certain kind of man or woman you are going to need to figure out what you need to change in yourself to attract that kind of person.... and you are going to have to be brutally honest about yourself about what the people you are attracted to themselves are attracted to and curb your fantasies.
The only reason that woman generally want men that are 5-10 years older than them is economic in nature. In the past this used to mean that the men had more wealth and/or status to give to the woman.... woman have an annoying inner desire to be intimidated by something in their romantic partners. They want their men to be superior to them in some way that others can easily identify.... but because men have been systematically broken down this simply is not available the way it used to be. The minority of superior men have a virtual monopoly on female attention because all the men pushed to the periphery are being completely ignored for any small reason.
If a man hits 40 and he still has no economic prospects.... it's either find an absolutely desperate woman to have a toxic relationship with or be forever alone. If a woman hits 40 and still has no partner.... it's either settle for whoever still wants her with the high likelyhood of never being a mother or be forever alone.
At the same time, as the number of single mothers keeps increasing the number of men willing to entertain them (which has always been a small figure) basically dries up.... and the older such a woman is the less likely she is to catch a man.... because no one wants to admit these harsh realities things are just getting worse and worse. People can whine about how unfair it all is all they like.... whining never solved anything and it has never successfully emotionally or socially blackmailed anyone into giving you what you want if it takes something away from them.
