Author Thread: wanna hear something crazy?
riveroflife1

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wanna hear something crazy?
Posted : 20 Jul, 2010 07:38 PM

I met a man on here about 2, almost 3 months ago. we began dating and seeing each other sometimes 4 times a week. We spent alot of time together and seems like we knew each other for a long time :)

He asked me to take the day off and go with him to Bakersfield on August 3rd for a court date.(he used to live there)...he let it slip that he was going to take me to look at engagement rings. His kids were excited about it and told me over and over that they couldnt wait for me to be a part of their lives permanently. His kids are 17 and 21 and they live with him. Anyway, he met my family and they liked him immediately and he fit right in... they were also excited about the upcoming engagement.

Long story short...last friday he says he doesnt want to see me anymore. No arguement or anything. Today he tells me that he had been communicating with a woman on here while we were dating and now he's TORN between us.

Now that I'm totally exposed...

What do you think of that?????????

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honestly00

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wanna hear something crazy?
Posted : 2 Aug, 2010 01:02 PM

i met a woman in here about 2 or three weeks ago. we were chatting online,then shortly after that we became friends,or so i thought.then after that,i tried talking to her to find out what was going on because i knew that something wasnt right.so anyway,she emailed me back, and told me that some old men were creeping her out,and she wanted me to forgive her,but i told her no,and the reason why is because she never told me what was going on.how am i supposed to forgive her,if she aint going to be honest with me,and tell me what is going on.

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PrincessOfHis

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wanna hear something crazy?
Posted : 7 Aug, 2010 03:47 AM

He's a jerk! thank God that you had a lucky escape!.. imagine if you'd got married and he'd done it then..

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Posted : 7 Aug, 2010 08:11 AM

It took me awhile to get back here. I still feel it takes about a year to get to know somebody.It gives you time to see any real problems. Such as red flags and dismiss them if a problem arises.Just my opinion.Dennis

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Posted : 9 Aug, 2010 11:10 AM

Dear River,

So sorry to hear your story, but that's great that your'e reaching out for support and prayers from fellow Christians. As many other responders posted, it sounds like what happened was for the best, in that it wouldn't be a happy situation for you to be married to someone who's unsure of wanting to be married. If he was really ready to be engaged, he would've broken things off with the other girl. Having proposed to you and still having thoughts of someone else is a bad sign in guy who claims he wants to get married. Maybe in the future he will come around again when he's ready to marry and prove that to you somehow, but for now, it sounds like he's really not ready to marry and settle down with one woman. I imagine it's really hard for you to deal with the sorrow and shock of him doing this to you, but I believe it's a blessing that at least he was honest with you and that this came out before you got married. If you still feel some love for him I think it's good to pray about it and ask God for advice with dealing with him. Also, I like to follow the moto: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then you know if loves you back. If it doesn't, then it wasn't worth holding on to. In other words, I think if he does really love you and wants to marry you, then he will come back to you. Otherwise, he wasn't the one for you and God has someone else better in His plan for you.



Take care and hope all works out for you. Thanks for sharing your story. It's a good lesson to all of us to make sure we're honest and take things slowly when we're preparing to marry. God Bless!

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JaneDrey

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wanna hear something crazy?
Posted : 9 Aug, 2010 03:00 PM

God bless you for your giving heart. I am new on this site, and am glad I found the forum with people like you in it. It's almost like keeping a diary of lessons learned, but I can learn from others' experience without the deep hurt. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not callous. I have been hurt many times, and in ways very similar to what happened to you. It's hard to go through it, and you can't say, "Oh, he's his own worst enemy" at the time; but looking back, you CAN thank the Lord Jesus that all things DO work toward good for them that love Him. Christ has what is best for us. It really helps through sharing with others to be able to glean what is His will for my life. Peace and joy to you!

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ben315

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wanna hear something crazy?
Posted : 17 Aug, 2010 06:20 PM

Sorry to hear that. Never take him back though, he will probally cheat on you if you were to get married.

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Posted : 21 Aug, 2010 01:09 PM

I understand this hurts. This is what sometimes happens on a site such as this. I have some strict rules that may help you. Number one is that if someone has told you about a past abusive relationship, it is imperative that they have sought help for more that several months. Second, if a person is telling you how much they like you on and want to see where things lead, both parties must remove their profiles. If one isn't willing, he or she is just window shopping and fulfilling some narcissistic behavior . And finally, if someone just complains about their past relationship, run as fast as you can:)

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riveroflife1

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Posted : 22 Aug, 2010 08:46 PM

yes...he was texting me "he cant stop thinking about me" but I dont want anything to do with him.

Again, I thank God for sparing me :)

thank you to everyone for encouragement, we need each other !!

bless you guys :)

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FloridaFunnyGirl

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Posted : 8 Sep, 2010 05:25 PM

Dear Sister,



I would have to say that he gets credit for telling you the truth. He could of strung you along or worse married you even though he knew his heart was not 100% committed. Just this past weekend I was catching up with a guy friend who was expecting to marry a lady he was dating for five years (took that long for the nasty divorce to happen), but she broke it off when she met a stranger in NY.



The point is that the pain is real, but time will make it go away. He may discover that his feelings for you will not go away and ask you to allow him back into your life. Whatever you decide make sure it is bathed in prayer and that you seek couples counseling before you marry him.



I also want to stress that sex outside of marriage will complicate things and God will not bless it. If that was happening in the relationship then avoid the temptation in the future and see how the Godly men will stick around while the carnal ones will more on quickly.



Blessings,



Elizabeth

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mrbluesky185

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Posted : 19 May, 2011 04:01 AM

well that's just the pits! Good for you for not giving up on this site. I'm sure not every experience can be that dreadful... God bless you

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