Sweet sister, I can relate! I have been there and experienced that - the Job syndrome
BUT DO NOT GIVE UP!!
The sun will shine again, I promise, and God loves you and has your back no matter what. He is proud of you and would not let you go.
Something that helped me was mindless worship. For me, it had to be mindless because I did not want to do it. I was angry at Father God but too scared of Him to let go. But worship helped me!
Also God blessed me with a Spiritual father who believed in me. I was lied against in unbelievable measures and almost doubted the authenticity of my own truth! But he believed in me better than even I did! I pray God will lead you to a friend that sticks closer than a brother - to refresh your soul.
Also, after a few years in my desert place, God led me to www.bjm.org. What a healing I experienced through Bill's ministry! If you can, do get his book on "Strengthen yourself in the Lord". Its the story of David from sheperd boy to Palace and what he went through to get there.
If you cant, please send me a PM and we will figure out getting one to you.
PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP. I TRULY HAVE BEEN THERE but I am here today Praising God!
I am yet to see any useful man of God who hasnt experienced a desert experience. Do you want to be used of God, this is prep time, girl friend! He will allow a KILLing of everything flesh so that you are all things GOD!
"Blessed is he who is not offended in me".
I love you and will pray for you! Please hang in there, the best is yet to come!
" when you finally choose that right one from GOD. theyll be with you till death .. "
is true except that we live in a fallen world and people can turn away from God regardless of how well they started off.
I am not a prophet of doom and I agree that when God gives you a partner, you should be one untill death - Physical death except Spiritual death also occurs.
No wonder scripture says "work out your salvation with fear and trembling". Any relationship or life lacking growth will decay and we must keep growing. Just like physical food - you couldnt say that you wont eat next month because you ate enough this month. it will result in death, even if the doctor just gave you the cleanest bill of health!
But, just like God's plan of redemption, the end is always more beautiful than the beginning! Jesus would not have had to come had Adam/Eve not given dominion to the enemy. His coming cost God sooo much but it was well worth it! God ALWAYS has the final say regardless of how the enemy may have interfered.
So, the #1 step arguably, is finding God's perfect will for you Then both parties must continue to seek him regularly and grow together in Him to prevent decay and death for God has given us FREE WILL!
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
Let me tell you a story of a broken heart - I hope this encourages someone out here.
This is the story of a girl, we would call her Beloved. Beloved grew up in a wonderful family and knew Christ at an early age. She just LOVED God. Her life was all about Him. She was such a �John the beloved�. It was a love dependency on the father, so palpable � she has many experiences of His presence and His voice. She was nothing without Christ. He was her very best friend and they communed like real physical friends. She also was blessed! Never had to study to make the grades and boy, did she make the grades! She was always favored in her ways. She dreamt answers to exams ahead! She just knew things!
Her parents strictness coupled with her love for Christ kept her from teen vices. She (and in fact her 3 other married siblings) all married as virgins! Her family was close knit and successful. Everyone was born-again.
Beloved never had a boyfriend. She waited patiently on God to lead her to the one God had for her � which He did. God led her to a man of much less substance than she. He claimed he was led of God as well. Despite the social status and financial differences, she gladly embraced him as a gift from God and poured all her love on him. She gave him her all. She literally took him from the miry clay and set him on high places. After all, this was her 1st experiment at love and she had to please God 100% in it!
Well, God�s plans never changes but sometimes God changes players! Saul once was chosen by God and rejected by God.
Beloved�s husband strayed. He was emotionally absent, abusive, and out of connection with Christ. There were hints of a gay relationship and then full blown adultery. He left the home. Beloved�s life was shattered completely. Her heart was broken, seemingly beyond repairs. Who on earth would imagine that Beloved, who had lived such a perfect, error free, pain free life, would now become a single mom completely shattered!
Beloved almost lost her mind. She was on the verge of being suicidal but for her love for her little girl.
She was at odds with God blaming him for the wrong choice in marriage. After all, if she had chosen herself, she would have made a better choice than God did for her and saved herself so much heart ache.
Then � God led Beloved to a Bill Johnson meeting � www.bjm.org where she was thoroughly healed and set free! Yeah, she found out that all the while, the devil had her at odds with God and in unbelief so as to cheat her of a bright future. Bill preached from Matthew 11 � �Blessed is he who is not offended in me�. If you were John the Baptist, would you not be offended? After all, Christ began his ministry saying he came to set ALL captives free. So why is John in Jail and Christ wouldn�t even visit him. The same Christ that said we should visit the imprisoned? What a mystery.
She still did not understand the circumstances but her eyes were opened. God is a good God. he is so good he does not have evil to give. His very nature is GOOD! So how does a good God allow such evil? We are in a fallen world and He has special ways to take our points of loss and make it our biggest breakthroughs in life! We do see in part and understand in part. It is ok to live in mystery for once God can trust you with mystery, you are ready for his greatest depths of revelation.
So Beloved got healed. Healed of her anger with God. so healed she was able to forgive her husband, who by the way, shortly after filed for divorce! By this time, she was so healed that despite the disappointment of receiving a divorce letter seemingly in answer to her relentless prayers for reconciliation, she was not disappointed with God. She knew this was all part of His plan as he can take whatever we are dealt, and create shining diamonds thereof!
I know so much because I am Beloved and this is my story the last 5 years.
�But! My heart is healed and free! I am eager to love again. Like I said, God�s plans and promises never changes but sometimes God changes players! Sometimes we have to give him back the dreams he gave us � as Abraham did � only to find it again in greater measures.
So if your heart is broken, please receive God�s love. I know what it�s like, I have been there. It�s the darkest depth but you can come out with your head held high!
