I think I feel the Father's love the most when He uses you to be a miracle for someone else. One day a Supervisor sent us an email forward at work that he had received from a coworker of ours in Afghanistan. It was pictures of him from overseas. I was touched by this and forwarded them to another coworker in Iraq and said we would sure enjoy getting pictures like this of you. He complied, and we sent those to everyone as well.
I then asked the Supervisor if I could take pictures of us at work waving and smiling, and being cheesy back at them to send to them. He thought it was a great idea, and this began a project for me that would take all summer but I had no idea that it would not be ending there.
About once a week I would send both soldiers pictures from us, but others wanted the pictures as well, and the Jail was not real keen on the idea of releasing them, as I gave them ownership rights on the project, so instead of releasing the photos, they agreed I could make a full color shift calendar. That was a lot of work that took the rest of the year to accomplish, but I honestly believe the reason for the entire project was yet to be revealed by the Lord in what was to come.
Days before Christmas a coworker who had been battling depression went out drinking, and the night ended very badly when he had a car accident. Being intoxicated and in a state of depression to begin with, he could not see past the moment, went home, called a couple people, and took his own life with a firearm.
His family was devastated. They did not understand why he didn't call them or leave them a note. I don't think it was ever about them and told them that, but in the midst of it all, one of the very last photos I took was this perfect picture of him in his uniform that just really brought out the person he was. I had it enlarged and framed for his mother, another for his sister and then a third for his grandmother.
I think that was the blessing the Lord intended from the very beginning. How could anyone have known that the one perfect picture of him, probably his last ever taken would become such a blessing to those left behind and crushed in the midst of tragedy.
Being a Blessing to those soldiers alone would have been enough, but to present the family this gift from all of his coworkers that loved and cared about him too felt powerfully like the Hand of God at work. I think how often we choose not to act toward being a blessing to someone. We choose not to say "Hey you did a great job on that" or "Wow, you look great in that outfit", when it might just be exactly what someone else needs.
This project would have been worth all the many, many hours of work, and the cost I put into it for the soldiers alone, for the appreciated getting our gift more than any of us could imagine, but I think when the Lord prompted the first guy to send pictures, He had this end result in mind to bring comfort to those that would be wounded so deeply in the grief of losing someone unconnected to the conflicts overseas completely.
I say if you want to feel His Blessing, Be His Blessing.
I couldn't possibly agree more, unfortunately that is not the world we live in. He asked why it was, the answer is not always in others where we seek it, but in ourselves, where we never thought to look to find it.
Kimberly, I know you do not believe that I could know anything about your walk or the path you are choosing, and I know there is no way to change your mind. I truly wish there was, for even if this is the blessing you seek, the door is so wide open for Satan to come against you. My walk as a divorced mother of a child has more than prepared me to see into a future you look at through the stained glass of hope. It is my wish for you that we are all wrong, but I do wish to thank you for your struggle in this has taught me something in my own life.
Right now I am seeking wise counsel on a big change in my life, and the Lord has sent me wise counsel, yet I too, am impatient. I have decide to dwell not upon making things happen right now, and have opted to wait upon the wise counsel, which might force the deal to fall through, but if it falls through, then God has other plans for me, for I know I asked for wise counsel, and He did provide it, so it is important for me to trust in it.
I do not think I would have noticed this restlessness within me without your struggles. I forgive you for your words that I do not comprehend from where I am, for it is like you hear not my words, nor speak the same language for what I see in Christ and what you see in Christ, though similar, is not the same. I do hope that you and this child you insist upon will be happy and healthy, especially healthy, for I cannot imagine how difficult that walk will become if there are complications. Put this child first above yourself for they deserve a wonderful childhood that that is not easy, not even with two parents, and there are no guarantee that the husband you seek will come along or if they do when that will be. Pray for strength, my sister for parents shed many tears, and a few of them are joy. The first time I cried for her was when I took my baby to the ER when she was sick. There will be moments of fears, moments of joy, moments of heartache when they make choices or say things that break your heart, but if you love them enough and shelter them not from the world, but teach them to live in it but not of it, the path will be difficult, but not impossible. I see many times when the Lord gave me exactly what I wanted, the the road was tough. Things like that make or break you. I pray it makes you stronger, for many times along the way you will fall, and feel broken.
I do wish you the best and forgive your harsh words.
This makes me think of something I call the waitress syndrome.
When I was younger, I was a waitress in a small hotel restaurant in a small town in the Midwest. I learned a lot about being a really good waitress from Becky, who was the Mother of three, married, middle aged and very average looking, but a really hard worker, that knew they business, all in all, and EXCELLENT waitress.
Then I was baffled and amazed by Sonja. She was this cute little air head that always forgot the bread, and if she did not have a tax table and a calculator, she would panic and be totally unable to figure a ticket. But the sad truth was, her tickets were more often than not wrong anyway and she would forget to charge for an ala cart item or a beverage add on or a desert etc.
Now this is "The Waitress Syndrome" part. Guess which one always brought in more tips? Yep, the cute little 18 year old air head that giggled all the time. Sweet as pie she was, but a waitress she was not. No kidding, she would spill on ya, mess up your order and forget your beverage, and bring in twice the tips of an excellent waitress that be everything you could want in a competent waitress.
So men, you wonder why women are shallow? We learn how we like to be treated. If a woman shows cleavage and she gets attention, she learns how to get attention, if that's what she seeks. She wears makeup because her husband might say she is attractive and doesn't need it, but when they go out, his eye gets caught on a that gal with the big eyelashes and the flashy red lipstick. We also learn how we don't want to be treated, like seconds or cast offs.
The forum is not immune. How often does a woman that is showing a little too much or is standing in a pose with her head thrown back, her back arched and her leg lifted in a sexy pose or any combination there of, get ignored on the forums? Rarely. She doesn't even have to say anything that makes sense and men respond to it.
You wonder why women behave the way they do? It is because men teach them what they want, by how they treat other women.
A woman goes to the store casual in jeans and hair pulled back no make up on, and the next time she is dressed to go out when she stops in the same store. Everyone knows the difference in the attention level. Cute stuff will get your groceries carried out every time. When I was pregnant, more often than not, I ended up dragging my own groceries to the car.
This is why women behave the way they do, then men pretend they don't understand why we do what we do. It is only when we gain understanding on a new level, and see that we don't need someone that acts this way, that we gain new understanding.
So maybe the question isn't why we act this way, but why do men behave the way they do?
Who all out there -doesn't- look for the super manly type of guy?
Posted : 13 Dec, 2009 05:11 AM
Amen Sister, its in the eyes, and its not how they look, but how they look at you. When a man looks at you with genuine sincerity, and with joy and laughter and interest, now THAT'S attractive!
I am also attracted to intelligence, especially intelligence in the Word. They Walk it, they Talk it, they Live it. THAT'S attractive.
They have a caring Christian Spirit within them that lifts people up, and that lights up the room wherever they go!
You can trust them because they are not counterfeit Christians that lie or deceive or adjust the Word to fit their convenience, but rather stand upon it and stand not in judgment of others, but in constant self examination of their own walk and how they might lift others up.
Yes, my friend Ice, THAT is attractive, and I don't care if he is bald or over weight or even if he's all that tall, although, I like tall a lot, but I am 5'9" and taller yet in heels. I am also drawn to American men and not foreign men, for foreign men scare me. Maybe that is wrong, but in some countries wife burning is still legal. That is a true statement, but it basically means that cultural differences run deep and in many cultures women do not enjoy the freedoms we enjoy here in America. You can bring people to America, but it does not adjust their belief system, and they are not going to tell you they think women are a less form of life than a man until after the "I do's" are said. I find that rather frightening.
I think women like to feel safe, and we want men to lead our houses as the Bible says they should.
These are things I look for in a man I would consider joining my life to become one with.
And not one among us has stood in agreement with you on this Kimberly, and it is not because we don't care, because we very much do. It is the stubbornness of our own ways that ALWAYS gets us into the most trouble. I think all on this forum will agree with that statement.
If you truly believe in an Almighty God that can do ALL THINGS, then give Him a chance to BE God, and don't play God for Him, Kimberly. When we believe our way is The Way, that is a great deception of pride meant to do what satan does best, deceive, kill, and destroy, whether it is our life or another (your child to be). Ishmael is a perfect example. See how he suffered for being the less loved child? The eldest should inherit the first and finest. He inherited a waste land with no home. This happens all the time today to children of divorce who have parents that remarry to have children with their new beloved. Both parents become enamored with their new child, the product of their love and they become the "other" child.
I am sure Ishmael was beloved on the day he was born. Look how very WANTED he was and how long they had WAITED for him. And he ended up exiled in the dessert because they could not stand to look at him or his mother, despite the fact they arranged this because they WANTED this child so VERY MUCH. They WAITED for this child so VERY LONG, and in the end, he was despised. The only way it could have ended worse for him would have been if his mother had remarried and had children with a beloved husband who initially accepted her child and then later despised him after his own children were born, especially if Hagar favored her new children who could do no wrong in the eyes of their father beside a child not his that he cared for but held no true bond with.
Ishmael was not brought in to the world to be despised. HE was brought into the world to fulfill God's promise because they did not trust God to BE God and fulfill the promise He put in their hearts. God does not need us to force His promises to come to be. You cannot force the blessing of God, for it turns into a curse of unforeseen consequences.
Kimberly, we truly do care so much about you. I often think our biggest mistakes are made when we become impatient and do not wait upon the Lord. Please do not close your eyes to the wise counsel of your friends.
Kimberly, as you may well have guessed, I could tell this from the start, and I know you think I am against you, but I am not. I have no problem forgiving you at all, that is the easy part. But I do fear for both you and your unborn child in this, for you yourself have concerns about the Tribulation, and now you will also have a child to protect in the difficult days ahead.
It has been my experience that the Lord often allows us to take the reigns when that is what we want to do, but it rarely comes out the way we plan it.
But parenthood will teach you things about God that only being a parent can really drive home as you learn that children are both needy and selfish, which is how we are with God, but yet we love our children with a love that is beyond words, as God loves us beyond our comprehension.
I begrudge you not at all for wanting a child. But I do sincerely wish that you would seek His Wise Counsel on men for it is obvious you have been let down and hurt by men, as many of us have, but it is not fair to make all men carry the burden of that pain, and I think there is a suspicious nature that is easy to adopt when this happens. I know I too have struggled against it, but I have also seen a lot of broken hearts over situations that are similar to what you are trying to create, and I worry that you will be given your way for the stubbornness of your nature on this, for truly it is ill advised Sister There are so very many ways this can go so terribly wrong for you.
I truly believe your blessing is out there, but it is not a blessing that you give yourself. Blessing rarely are. Blessings are something you give away and they come back to you.
I beg you continue to seek His Will on this my Sister, and pray "Thy Will Be Done Lord, and give me the courage to accept and understand Your Way, whatever that may Be."
When our emotions are so strong, it leaves us so vulnerable to the devil's attack, and I worry your desires might be taking you down this road. I really believe the Lord has a better plan, and I hope you will seek His will and accept whatever way your path takes.
I know this is affordable Kimberly, but how many times will you try? Will you try once and accept if it does not happen that it is His Will? Or will you continue till you get your way on this?
I think our own stubborn nature is our greatest stumbling blocks as Christians. Seek not the opinion polls of any man (or woman) but seek the Will of the Lord who will not abandon you despite any of the many selfish things that we all do. But I have learned that the bigger the mistake we make, the more we tend to pay for it in the consequences of that choice.
The forgiveness is easy, it is the living with the outcome that is not always as simple as it seemed like it would be.
The kindest thing I ever did for myself Kimberly was to find a good counselor that could help me unravel all that pain and hurt, and I feel so much better and healthier for it. I would urge you to spend six months in counseling with a counselor you enjoy and respect before you make any hasty decisions, for your child deserves a Mommy that takes care of herself not just physically, and spiritually, but emotionally too, for the path ahead is not a smooth path by any means, and a child will definitely make it more complicated.
But rest assured, God and His People, will still love you and accept you whatever the future holds for you. I hope that you can accept that about us, that our counsel of you has not been meant to be harsh or severe, merely a stern warning that this path is not advisable in accordance with what the Lord has spelled out as His Plan for the creation of a family. I would also have concerns about carrying a child of a man of which I know nothing, for this "father" could be a truly evil person that is not a saved Christian and we do tend to inherit the "sins of the father" from both parents. (alcohol gene, emotional issues etc)
I still believe as well that if you seek your ministry in the Lord, that you will find what you seek in Him, and through Him, for He provides all our needs and knows our every desire, so seek that direction as well in your walk.
My Dear Sister! Hold high the mark for look to whom you hold that mark for. If your husband is to be a gift to the Lord God Almighty, who can do anything, then surely He can find someone for you that will exalt your walk in Him, not detract from it.
A man is to lead his house and his family, and a wife is to respect and love her husband. We are also told not to enter into marriage lightly.
You do not come across haughty at all my Sister, and I think she was making a generalization, which can be very true for some people. Mostly I think such people are more hung up on perfection in looks or the way someone dresses or whether they drink Folgers or Starbucks. You do not come across to me as someone who thinks she is better than other people at all. I do in fact agree with you though, for often smart women settle for bad boys or men that are not in keeping with the standards you hold high, thinking that this is the best they can do, or that maybe their walk is to improve this person somehow. That is really a mistake.
I think it is right to wait upon the Lord for a Godly man that you can respect that will lead your house in a manner the Lord would want for you. I truly believe the Lord does not desire us to suffer under ungodly men that lead our homes astray, and fight our walk in Him. A bad judgment in marriage will often lead to this very thing.
So I agree, hold high the banner of your faith, for the Lord will bless you for it as you wait upon Him and prove yourself faithful to Him. In the mean time, let God BE God, for its His job to orchestrate such details, and you be who you are in Him, and walk in His light, and do His work, for in doing His work, there is where you are most likely to meet that Godly man.
Devoted, you have a valid point about self serving, and it works both ways as well, lots of shallow people in the world using the latest "gimmick" to score what they want rather than searching for what God might want for them. Looking around there is so much self centered motivation in the world today that I find it a true wonder that God even likes us at all, more less loves us despite all the things that are so despicable in general, more or less to some degree or another in each of us. But yeah, when it really screams like that, I tend to wonder how it can be so ignored by people that are doing it, and I think that stretches even beyond photos. I always chuckle at the ones that want a Godly Woman, yet they want her to be physically comparable to a supermodel, then they wonder why they always end up with women that are just self centered (like they are). I am sure women are that way too, to some extent, but until we start looking beyond the desert line, it will be hard to find a substantial relationship that is sustaining, fed in the bread of the Word, rather than eye candy that knows how to say just what someone wants to hear so they can get what they want.
Beautiful in the Bread of Life shows, and you see people like that on this forum that have real opinions that have a biblical perspective and you can tell they give thought to their walk and how they live their lives. Those are the ones that shine like precious metals and stones in that Godly way that people all say they want. Such people are very average people, not supermodel material at all for the most part, but they become very attractive to us and when they are away, we miss them.
I can understand if someone is just too far away to pursue a relationship, for I feel you need to be close enough to get to know each other on a level beyond email. I realize my part of the country is remote, but often I have invited people that are local to just come to an event to get to know other Christian Singles in the area, and time and again, no response at all of any kind, which I believe is a subtle way of saying "leave me alone" which I can respect, for nobody likes a stalker.
Shouldn't we all want to get to know each other as friends? I find that so much easier than the "lets have coffee" thing where there is so much pressure that it seems more like a job interview on both ends.
But to return to the point, I very much agree with the self centered self serving attitude being out there today, but in both genders, and I think it is becoming more and more so, which leads me to think that Paul might be right, remaining single may not be a bad thing at all.
