I know that physical attraction is important, but because I generally ignore most of the men around me who are not Christian, I find myself less interested in the physical beauty than I am in a person's character. One time, I had a friend and was surprised to find out some time later that he was a Christian. Then after getting to know him, I felt attracted to him more.
In another case, I had a friend whom I was extremely attracted to, but who was not a believer, so I played it safe and stayed only his friend. At one point, even after declaring he was saved, his conduct showed me that even though he was physically attractive, I wanted very little to do with him romantically. When you begin dating someone, you're not just looking for a physically beautiful person, you are looking for a person who can understand you and show you that she can love you because love already resides in her heart. So then you have to show her that the same goes for you.
I listen to any style of music, but most of the time, the words really kill it for me. That is why I usually listen to Christian and soundtrack/classical/jazz/instrumental/choral/techno music. But I find that even some of the Christian songs disappoint, in lyrics and in sound. My only thing with music is that it has to be good. I'm a singer, so I have a picky ear.
cobbler pretty much said it. Myself, I am young and a college student, so even though I want marriage, I anticipate that it may be a while before I do get married. At the very least I want to finish a part of my schooling before I even consider it. Marriage is a really big decision to make, and I want to take it seriously.
So, with any girl who seems interested in friendship first, that doesn't mean she doesn't want you to pursue, it just means that she wants to take her time getting to know you before anything becomes serious.
That was my initial reaction too, siylii, but let me play "devil's advocate" for just a moment, because I think that the idea has just a little bit of credibility.
What is the primary reason that couples hesitate to have children? Time, resources, and personal investment. Too many adults grew up first in broken or struggling homes, where their parents had 4-12 children and struggled to make ends meet, or else they were single children raised by divorced parents in separate homes. The primary concern is: can I really raise a child? (can I make the money needed and still put quality time into parenting my kids? can I, a person who came out of a messed up background, really rear up a child who will turn out at least moderately normal and happy?)
What these countries are doing is only a more desparate version of a policy that the US has always held solid to: help the families. This is why marriages and parents with dependents recieve tax cuts and considerable returns. Now ask this question: If I never had to worry about a safe place and a CHANCE to make enough money, would I hesitate quite as much to have children and to love them and raise them with discipline?
I personally think that some of these ideas are pretty crazy. For instance, land is something you earn through work and saving, and is considered an investment. I would understand if married couples were given federal tax breaks or better loans if they had a decent credit history, but giving away the land is just foolish, because that is all that any government really has to bargain with.
God considers children to be the greatest earthly blessing that he will give. The only question we really need to be asking is: am I ready to put everything I am into another person the way that Christ did?
plz don't be discouraged. consider what you are looking for. The right woman will be the kind that looks to God and hopes that you will too, who hopes that her attractive friend has good intentions, but when she realize he doesn't will stop thinking of him romantically and hope for someone new.
God sent Christ to give us salvation so that, even when we fail to meet his standards, we can seek forgiveness and REPENT. The right girl will try to get to know you as a friend first, because she wants to know your CHARACTER. Physical beauty is only one small part of the equation: real attraction (in all ways) comes from the depth of the love between two people.
stay or leave, I hope that you find peace, and that God provides you with the person he has made perfect for you.
