technically, dating is just setting aside time to spend with another person outside of your normal routine. When you go out to lunch, you are going on a date, with your friends and family members, with your coworkers and sometimes complete strangers. The question is, what is your intention when you spend time with that person? Do you want to alleviate boredom, go over practical concerns, or just study that person and get to know him/her a little better?
Then "dating" in the social slang sense of the word is just setting aside your time for one person, exclusively for friendly/romantic interests. In that sense, you want to find qualities about that person that you respect, love, or admire. You want to determine if this is someone whom you could trust above other people, and whose time and attention you value. And you want to GIVE of yourself love to that other person, in small/simple ways and in big/personal ways.
I think, more important than the semantics of "dating" is the approach of living in Christ and sharing his love with everyone around you. Maybe one day, you will find someone with the characteristics that attract you in life and love. But for now, learn to love one another unconditionally. In heaven there won't be any husbands or wives, sons or daughter. We will all be brothers and sisters in Christ, belonging only to God.
I understand what you are going through. I was robbed of innocence at a very young age, and as I grew older, even just at 12, I felt the urge to explore sexuality. I knew that sex outside of marriage is sin, but I did not understand that even self-exploration is a sin, because the flesh burns with passion. I struggled with that desire for many years, and even still I am extremely sensitive to sensual references. Yet as I grew to understand God better, I realized that my sense of guilt in that area was the Conviction of the Holy Spirit. It is important to remember that Christ calls us to "crucify the flesh", to deny ourselves access to those desires which would distract us from his glory and keep us from his blessing. Yet he also calls the union between a married couple a blessing.
Look for people who can fellowship with you in this area, though carefully. You may find that more Christians struggle with this issue than most are willing to admit. You may find that in turning your worries into a topic of fellowship and growth, you glorify God, and place that concern in his hands. Who knows, you may meet a person who has similarly struggled, and find in that person a partner to understand and encourage you in the right ways. The scriptures talk about getting married to satisfy your desire in a healthy way, yet it also calls us to love our spouses sacrificially. Don't lose hope, or doubt yourself more than is necessary, for if you are in Christ, then the enemy will do all in his power to drag you back into a cycle of death using past sins or else your own guilt over past sins. Just know that by admitting your sins to God and believing that Christ has paid for them, you are already washed clean. Ask HIS forgiveness every day. Seek HIS wisdom, and share HIS love every day.
what he said. Maybe a lighted photo out-of-doors so everyone can see your lovely features. I have a hard time selecting pics for my own profile, but when I did, it really helped.
At first, I explored, viewed profiles, sent messages. I was looking for romance via friendship, and not friendship via romance, so I always started communication in a light tone and asked genuine questions about their character or likes/dislikes--whatever seemed most interesting to me on their profile. I got a lot of short conversations, a few prolonged correspondences. I met one guy who was easy to talk to, but who never took the initiative to seek me out or start the conversation.
Looking out for love is a picky process, after all, marriage is supposed to be a life-long commitment. Don't take people too seriously until they start taking you seriously. I am currently talking to someone whom I met on this website. I was a little bitter at the time and gave a very blunt, very honest answer to one of his questions via message. I wasn't mean, I just told him what I thought and expressed my hope that he would not get the wrong meaning from my words.
And what did he do? HE THANKED ME! He told me that he really appreciated honesty, and then he gave me his cell phone number and we have been talking ever since. Don't give up, and don't jump to conclusions. Just be honest and hope that, one way or another, the right guy will catch on.
I tend to avoid profiles of men that describe themselves too highly as "good godly men". I will know how much they care about their relationship by other statements and actions, but all that statement tells me is that they are either self-defensive or think too highly of themselves.
I don't avoid all of them, and it's not a total deal-breaker, but it worries me how easy it is for Christians to adopt the world's "I'm good enough" doctrine. No one is "good enough". That's why we need Christ.
My uncle married a Filipina through a dating website while he was posted at the Misawa Naval base in Japan. They talked, they went through all of the legal procedures, and they married.
A few years later, he found out that she used to go onto dating websites to meet up with men in a manner similar to prostitution, and that she had done so recently during their marriage. But he knew that he loved her, and he was married for better or for worse. They were struggling to have children at the time, and it seemed as though every kind of marital pressure was coming down on them. They talked it out, they began to attend marriage counceling with their pastor, and things seemed to improve.
Over the course of a few more years, they tried to have children. She became pregnant, but miscarried. Then she received news from the Philippines that her sister could not financially afford to have the fourth (or fifth, not sure) child that she was carrying. My uncle and aunt agreed to move to Davao city in the Philippines to go through the process of adopting their nephew on the agreement that her sister would get her tubes tied.
Something went wrong with the adoption, and they are currently not allowed to return to the states with their boy. Rose's sister did not get her tubes tied quickly enough, perhaps for financial reasons, and they have adopted the second boy. My uncle became involved in another man's ministry calling to start an orphanage for the boys on the streets of Davao. The other minister left, but my uncle remains, and he and Rose remain the directors of the orphanage; they are looking to buy a new property and expand.
Yes, many of the women on dating sites are trying to marry into the United States or another (seemingly) improved situation. But whoever comes across your path, if God fills you with love for this person, and their beliefs appear to be in line with your own, do not hesitate to follow that path. Whatever fears or doubts we have about life, love, and romance, God has a plan that is always beyond our anticipation or understanding. His greatest calling for us is to give love, first to him, then to everyone else.
The Law never contradicts itself because it is based off of the desires and direction of one amazing God, with a personality and preferences. The First commandment is to Love God with everything that it is in you. If there is not a specific sin he is asking you to commit, simply obey until God tells you otherwise. Pray for your husband, wait on God and pray for His will to be revealed to you. Show your love to God by serving, trusting, and obeying your husband. Unless he asks you to put another thing before God, obey.
