For those of you not familiar with Briggs-Meyers, it is a psychological assessment test that categories personality types based on a person's attitudes, functions, and lifestyle. These categories translate into four main dichotomies:
Extraversion (E) - (I) Introversion
Sensing (S) - (N) Intuition
Thinking (T) - (F) Feeling
Judgment (J) - (P) Perception
I took this assessment quite a few years ago and found it to be surprisingly accurate in describing my core personality. The test is also used to determine ones potential career preferences as well as those personalities most compatible with your own.
I was bored one day and retook the test to see if anything had changed and I was still the same personality type. I checked out the personalities supposedly most compatible to my own and found them to be right on target. In fact I could strongly match up all of my serious relationships to one of those compatible personalities.
Although I have thought about it for efficiency's sake, I have yet to introduce myself as . . .
Hi I am an INTJ, seeking an ENTP or an ENFP. :laugh:
Do you know your personality type? If so do you use it in sifting through potential partners?
If not would you like to find out your personality type and use it to help find compatible partners?
I won't post a direct link to the test, but you can google search for "Briggs-Meyers personality test" and click on the humanmetrics website for a free test with no sign up or registration required. This version only has 72 yes or no questions so it goes by pretty fast!
I've let her go and right now I am just giving myself some space to get used to the idea of just being friends again.
The funny thing is that she was the one who said we would be perfect for each other which is why I was pretty confused when she said that she just didn't feel anything romantic toward me
We were really close friends before we started exploring our interest in a more romantic relationship so I am sure that we will both continue to be friends in the future.
It will be interesting to see the kinda girl God has for me. Based off of my own understanding, it will be pretty hard to find someone as compatible or more compatible than her.
Patience is a virtue . . . keep on pressing on! :)
Sometimes when I am browsing through photos and I see a someone I am interested in but I do not have the time to send a message right away I will put the profile on my "favorites" list so I can easily find the profile again and send a message.
Imagine you found a person of the opposite sex that is completely compatible with you in every way even remotely important and that you are just as compatible to the other person. Basically the two of you are perfect for each other at least on paper.
But for some reason the other person just does not feel attracted to you in a romantic way. Not only do they feel nothing for you, but they apparently do not want to feel anything toward you. Imagine the only reason given for not feeling that way toward you is something as trivial as the way you hold a fork.
That is pretty much where I am right now. I've accepted her decision, but I still don't completely understand it. I don't see how two people can be completely compatible for each other yet one seems to be unable or unwilling to love the other in that way.
I've always believed that while feelings are important, that love is ultimately a choice. It is the choice to love that will keep two people together during the toughest of times not the feelings of love which can come and go with time.
So what is that X factor? Chemistry? The obsessive blinding feeling of being "in love"? Free will?
What makes one not attracted to another when even compatibility is completely satisfied yet attracted to someone who is not even remotely compatible?
When someone refers to their pet as their baby, treats their pet as their baby, or compares having a pet to parenthood I just get so riled up! To me the mere notion so belittles and demeans the incredible miracle of human life made in the image of God and the incredible blessing and responsibility it is to have a child and to raise him in a way that is honoring to God.
Don't get me wrong, I love animals and I even think pets can be considered part of the family though in a much different and lesser sense than a human family member.
I realize that most people who do compare their pets to human babies don't intend to belittle the value of a human baby or being the parent of a human child, but to me there just seems to be no way around it.
I wrote that kind of late last night so some of it is kinda hard to read with missing/wrong words, but hopefully people get the general idea. I really wish we could edit our messages for correcting typos lol.
I hear a lot of girls say that as well. The thing is a lot of things they have a distorted view of what it really means to be a leader or to be the assertive guy that they say they desire. A lot of girls want to see those leadership and assertive traits in action when it comes to evaluating a guy in terms of a relationship.
The problem I found a lot of times comes from the difference between having the ability to be assertive and to lead and exercising those abilities. A guy may have all those qualities and be completely able to lead and assert himself when the situation calls for it but generally he is an easy going, laid back individual. When a girl sees a guy like they generally assume he is passive, timid with no assertive characteristics or leadership skills but often times that is not the case. In a way the decision not assert oneself in a given situation is actually demonstration of assertiveness as well as discretion
For example a guy insults you and attempts to pick a fight -- most guys could aggressively assert themselves in the conflict or they could decisively choose not to respond in that way (which we would all agree is probably be better choice). One guy could respond to that situation and refuse to fight because he is timid and unassertive yet another guy who is capable of asserting himself and confident would respond in the same way.
In a dating relationship or friendship guys do not have completely authority to be assertive or to lead the girl because he is not yet her husband -- their is no household for him to be the head of.
What girls need to look for in us guys are the abilities to be assertive and to lead and not to assume the guy does not possess those qualities when she doesn't constantly see aggressive displays of assertiveness and leadership. Often times if you look past the surface of any given situation there are good reasons for choosing not to be assertive and in actuality that decision not to assert is in and of itself assertive and decisive in nature.
Well good news guys, the date and the talk went really well. Like I mentioned above, we have been going out on "dates" causally but not officially dating or as boyfriend/girlfriend. We are both the kind of people that are very careful and choosy about who we decide to be in a serious relationship with. Believe it or not the number of our combined past boyfriends/girlfriends is in the single digits!
The talk went well, we had a very open and straightforward discussion -- no games or sugarcoating.
I found out that she has been thinking of a having a serious relationship with me for about the same time I have but she is still not sure. Apparently her friends love me and think we would be great together which is what made her start thinking about us. If her friends already love me then that has to be half the battle right? lol
A lot of her doubt and confusion about whether is she ready for a serious relationship has to do with her not being completely over her past interest. They had never officially been in a relationship because the guy had commitment issues from a serious relationship that ended badly a few years ago and said he wasn't ready to be in another serious relationship. But apparently he was ready to flirt with her and lead her on enough to make her think that he was ready for a real relationship and when she finally caught on to his game she stopped spending time with him.
She doesn't have feelings for him anymore, but he goes to her Church so every Sunday when she sees him it brings up the same hurtful feelings and trust issues she now has because of what he did. All this happened over the course of the past several months.
We spent several hours talking about a lot of things and we both decided to make more of an effort to see each other more regularly in various group and one-on-one settings to see how things continue to progress.
I made it very clear that I understand the feelings she has to deal with and that I will be patient and wait for to make a decision. She was very open about not being sure just yet and not wanting to lead me on or make me feel that I had to wait for her for a long indefinite period of time.
It didn't go as well as I had hoped. Her leaping into my arms saying yes a thousand times yes would have been nice! lol
But God is good, all the time and I am certainly taking this as a positive step forward.
All your prayers, input, and continued support is appreciated!
