If you were to meet this wonderful male friend Joy who comes and communicate this one specific thing to you. That is, �Drawing you even closer to God (not that there's anything wrong with how you currently relate with God) is his ultimate mission to accomplished!�
Now this turns out to be more than just words as time passes by and your relation with him is deeply God cantered. Slowly but surely you start noting his skill of leadership that doesn't only lead you to God (since you already had your relationship with God long before he came forth) but rather he silently leads you to your female gender calling.
Further more he encourages you to go find what makes you happy, what brings self discovery to you and pursue that. As for him, his willing and ready to embrace what you willing to share with him after you've discovered yourself and where you'd wanna place him in your life. With time you realise that he actually makes you happy inasmuch as he keeps sending you away to find your own happiness else where.
Last but not least you eventually notice and get amazed at his confident of releasing you instead of reserving and keeping. As he releases, that keeps you drawn back to him at the end of the day. As for the happiness found in him you still wanna share it with him.
How do you go back to his pending request that was placed on the table in allowing you to decide where are you placing him in your life? How do you communicate your feelings and decision in this regard?
This question turned out longer than I thought, hope there's sense in it :waving:
How far will guys take learship in cases like these?
Posted : 27 Feb, 2015 11:50 AM
�I think the OP is discussing an irresponsible father�
Not really Hoosier! I referred to you 'MAN' cause you're ordained leaders from birth. God entrusted you guys with leadership with your very offsprings. It still a question of choice. Parents made kids. They choose that responsibility. It's unfortunate that divorce doesn't reserve the existence of kids, neither does it releave parents from that chosen responsibility. Unless one is no longer a leader since the family's broken? Then what about the innocent beings that have been brought to life?
Unfortunately the guy qoated here isn't responsible but that doesn't rebel all guys irresponsible! One can only take offence and be defensive if he sees his reflection in all this. I only shared about the ex-husband so I give a little clue of how complicated divorce can turn things to be. I'm seeking solution here. I'm not really bothered who initiated divorce. What about innocent kids, your very products 'MAN'?
How far will guys take learship in cases like these?
Posted : 27 Feb, 2015 01:38 AM
You've deviated altogether from the main subject. It's not a question of who initiated divorce in the first place, that one is another subject on its own. Being defensive of gender (man) doesn't substitute your lifetime chosen responsibility (fatherhood) for bringing children on earth. The purpose of this subject is finding solution to the problem not entertaining issues of who suggested divorce.
And again, had a man been living up to his role, the woman wouldn't have brought the idea of divorce OR the other way around
Greetings sis and thank God for an opportunity of interacting with you for the first time this year on a public forum!
With me the entire list needs a brand new layout. Though what I've currently in discovered is:
Men are more about actions and appearing Godly, which is not wrong though there's less relating which is what I hunger for more than what he can practically do... God is a God of relationship. Everything He says and does comes out of Gods relating with His creation.
Inspite of what a man can do and how well he can do it, there's no relating without communicating!
I think I'm recently attracted to a man seeking and communicating God's discovered will and how well we can pursue that together. I wonder if there's any sense in this?
How far will guys take learship in cases like these?
Posted : 24 Feb, 2015 06:37 AM
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject and relating with your own personal experience.
I reserved a lot when typing this post Hoosier. Things are more complicated than they seem. Reason I didn't express more of the complications it's cause I'm seeking a solution instead of dwelling more on the dramatic side of things that will get us no where. A little of what I reserved is that, the older son is missing most probably due to all this. He disappear when they were in the care of the father though the mother has the custody of the children.
�Which parent is remarried/re-involved so there's a pregnancy?�
Both parties are involved in other relationships. The husband got married a years latter after they've been divorced, with current kids from the recent marriage. The wife has just began a new relationship hence she happened to be pregnant (I personally doubt it was planned). So now the children are exposed to step parenting, step siblings and half siblings even when they thought that they have their mother's full attention.
I'm disappointing of how the ex-husband decided to take a back sit altogether from maintaining his children just cause they are in their mother's custody. I personally think that she deserved a little break and time to her self looking at a great job she's been doing for the previous 5years parenting these children by herself. I can't help wondering why would a man punish his ex-wife by staving his 3children and top up by making more kids from the current relationship?
I don't condone the lady making another child from a new relationship that only started yesterday, yes it wasn't a smart move! But if the ex-husband genuinely couldn't afford to support the children and his current family at once, I think he should have prioritised and remained unmarried so his not overwhelmed financially to a point of failing his existing children let alone topping up by creating new beings.
This is where I was coming from when I said, �Looking at the man's role in families... Headship! How far are guys willing to 'sacrifices their happiness' in exchange of either initiating or maintaining unity and peace amongst their children after divorce?�
Would you kindly share more on you meant by: �But the ex-husband has no headship as far as the ex-wife is concerned.� While the bible clearly says, �The wife will always be subject to her husband's law?
Thank you so much once more for time taken in partaking on this... God bless!
With our (you) constant search for that special person that we believe God has instore for us individually; we encounter different challenge as we meet and interact with different guys. I believe that, this is where learning and discovery takes place. Most probably we might have had to visit our list of requirements and doubt check if we're still realistic with our expectations from the other part. What were the current changes that were made from your list weather be you have edited or deleted few things?
Please kindly share more of the encounters that inspired you to go back and change your list of requirements.
How far will guys take learship in cases like these?
Posted : 23 Feb, 2015 12:59 AM
With life being a risk and those taking bigger risks getting greater rewards, I wondered looking at the man's role in families... Headship! How far are guys willing to �sacrifices their happiness� in exchange of either initiating or maintaining unity and peace amongst their children after divorce?
I suppose being brought up from a broken dysfunctional family has shaped me to be passionately concerned about the well-being of the children inspite of the fiascos taking place between parents divorcing or the death of the other spouse, either way these does impact on the children!
Catching up with an old friend who happens to be divorced and currently pregnant from the current relationship has got my mind raising with countless thoughts. With a fearful frustration of dealing with 3angry children for being divorced with their father and brought them into sudden step parenting each time they have to visit the other parent, now you must break the news of not only being in a relationship but being pregnant too. I think it's a little overwhelming for all parties involved.
Now referring to MAN as leaders of their households... What are the possible steps to be taken in ensuring that there's a common ground above everything taking place? Bottom line is that life carries on after divorce or loss of the spouse, and both parents might have opened other doors as moving forth, doors that might cause them to share their parenting with babies that are still yet to be born or step children, though how do you ensure peace and unity on your biological existing ones inspite of the drama and disagreements you may continuously have with their mother? I mean you two will always be their parents.
Searching can be frustrating and tricky from my personal observation, to a point were I ended up wondering if fellows end up compromising their requirements just so they find a partner?
I'm often bored out of my mind when trying to enjoy a small conversation with a guy my age. It's disappointing as I often observe a low sense of basic maturity on a little conversation! Now would I have considered him as a partner on a personal level? Ofcause not, I can't make babies with a baby.
I experience the same thing with guys over 40 and even 45s. I know for a fact that there's no way I can be making lifetime solid decisions relying on his input... He just empty other than the number of years. Now what is relating without communicating? What is communication if there's nothing to take from what you share? One is bound to be frustrated!
Then I meet a 48year old who stimulates my level of reasoning. 5days latter I still meditate on a conversation we shared and I look forth talking to him again. Don't I know that we don't stand a chance? But most guys my age are absolutely empty mentally, even those who are older. That's why I'm wondering if those claiming to have found partners are maybe compromising their requirements for a sake of settling and fitting inn?
