No one is being reactive, faults finding or judgemental to you. We only expressing our views on what you shared on your main post, what's written on your profile and what you've shared in your second reply.
Since you emphasis that you're different from other ladies in your country, It's only fair of me to ask you to share how different are you from them especially since you're defending something that you're already a part of, dating a foreigner from LA. Had you not have mentioned that you're in a relationship with a foreign guy, I would have just taken your word that you're different. Which I still believe that you really are. Hence I keep on asking you to share how different are you from them so you clear up your side on those who might have thought you're also a gold digger.
�It was before that I view men and read their profile� I find your qoated sentence amazing that you refer to it as past, before you met your boyfriend yet you express your opening post regarding this subject with an emotion of such concern and hurt as if you're still bothered by this. Partaking in a new exciting relationship that has a potential of ending up in marriage wouldn't have had me dwelling so much on the issues of the past experiences that led me in finding my mate eventually. I wouldn't even worry if foreign guys think of me as a gold digger knowing that I am nothing like that. I'd invest my time and energy in pursuing my new found mate and care less what others think of me.
My apologies by referring you to Philipian instead of Filipino!
Let me take you back to your OP please: �It's hurts me when I read that we filipino are gold digger, looking for a foreigner to help us to upgrade, to find a guy who will take us to abroad. This is not true. Not all woman are like that. That's why I'm saying don't generalized us. We're different.
Now, every time I want to view someone's profile I'm a bit nervous that he might don't like a filipino woman to message him. I'm really careful not to view their profile many times and I don't use wink anymore :( I don't know if I stay here or leave this site. I feel embarrass to view someone's profile because of it.�
Your recent reply was:
�I only view their profile once and besides I forgot to mention I already found my boyfriend here he lives in L.A�
I'm perceiving two different reflections from your OP that I gave a benefit of a doubt and even wrote back for the sake of trying to help you enjoy your stay here as a rightful member like every one else. In your OP there's a emotion of defence and clarity that not all woman from your country are the same, yet you are in a relationship with a foreign guy from LA for your own personal reasons ofcause. But why emphasis so much that it's not true what is being said about you ladies while you are currently dating a foreigner yourself? Already this in me questions your argument from the OP. Is your argument driven by guilt or you're sincerely stating the differences from ladies in your country? How different then are you from them if I may kindly ask you to express in details?
And again, I personally wouldn't be viewing guys' profiles anymore knowing that I am content cause I have already found what I was searching for from my current chosen mate from LA. Don't you rather think that you should either edit your profile and clarify that you're already in a relationship, even working on getting married OR change it altogether and state your recent reasons of partaking here when you're already taken. You still have a right to remain a member though it now raises questions why would you be viewing further profiles and even take offence when guys state clear that they don't appreciate being massaged by ladies from your country? I really wouldn't be bothered knowing that I am happy were I am.
Your profile is well written and straight forth about the kind of a person that you are and what you're seeking for by signing up with this dating site...That being searching for a man! Since you're having this concern of feeling discriminated because of being a Phillipian woman, how about adding to your profile summery that your search for a mate doesn't necessarily mean that you're viewing profiles with an intention of looking for a foreigner to help you to upgrade! Be clear that you're comfortable meeting guys from your home country. And there could be numerous reasons why would you be viewing someones' profile over again. After all it is your right to read people's profiles unless this site maybe starts preventing certain citizens from viewing profiles that have been stated not to be red by a specific group of people. Our freedom of choice in choosing who do we want or not want to associate with must be considered but clarifying your intentions for viewing profiles being a Phillipian lady. It may play a part in putting guys at ease. Maybe you may even get a respond when breaking the ice, trying to initiate a simple conversation when it has been clarified that you're comfortable in your own skin being a Phillipian young lady and would be even happier to connect with fellows from your country!
Please do communicate back in what you think of this idea?
Greetings PastorFred and thank you for opening this subject for discussion!
May our faithful Lord preserve your purity for His glory and honour until He guides your steps to that special lady who'll complement you as your wife someday! And yes, it is only fair of you to wish to connect with a virgin too since there's much to consider about intercourse than just physical pressure between two people of opposite sex. I personally admire and respect you for your chosen decision! However I personally wouldn't be bothered that much if my partner is a virgin or not, especially if Christ found him in that position. Unless otherwise...
I'd be more concerned about serious issues regarding the foundation layed for a lifetime relationship.
I once dwell in thoughts about the parable of the Ten Virgins when it turned out that the other five didn't have oil when the husband arrived. They were not left behind because they were not virgins but cause they didn't have enough oil to refill and keep their lights on when the husband arrived! Now relating this Parable not only with the return of our Lord that should find us ready but relating it with our daily relationships' that we are hoping that they will eventually end up in marriage in future, I learned that our virginity (those who are still blessed to have theirs) doesn't really have much impact if it's only an empty virginity with nothing else to offer accompanying it. Since marriage is not made or strengthened by sex, that clearly means sex is not marriage either. But rather meant for married people who still can find them selves going through divorce.
If this is the case by any chance, then at times you could still be weigh happier and better off with someone who may not be a virgin for whatever reason, but sober and mature enough to have the foundation of your marriage layed with than a fellow virgin who may have nothing more to offer other than just being a virgin. Marriage being supposed to be a lifetime covenant, will she/he be willing and able to keep up with the pace or she will ran out of oil like the other five who didn't have enough to keep their lights on for the return of the husband?
It grieves my spirit knowing that you not enjoying your Christmas day, a day that is celebrated globally by every Christian for it is a day that brought the salvation of our souls, just cause you too worried about someone else who doesn't seem to be interested in you right now. It's unfortunate that friends are entitled to change their minds about us. Even those that we are blood related with, do reject us at times.
Since your friend reflects that she wants nothing to do with you... You have to respect and accept that. Dealing with rejection of those we love and need is part of our daily experiences. The bigger challenge is learning to accept and carry on with your life with or without that person, as for being rejected... tomorrow will be someone else again treating you like that. Learn to accept dear
Often times our senses are accurate and may be communicating what we least need to hear. Since you're kinda feeling hesitant about making the call, rather don't make it and wait till you see your friend and talk to her inperson.
�Do folks just line up eventually settling for 'talk/email buddies' rather than keeping their hopes up�
Dear sis, in asmuch as relationships' often require us to compromise and most probably meet one another half way, in certain circumstances that may still not be enough apart from issues of distance. This is why two friends who may mean a great deal to each other may end up being just 'talk/email buddies' if both would rather settle for that instead of losing contact altogether. It boils down to how much they value what has been accomplished during their fellowship while they were members here.
Then again a question of befriending and having such connection with a divorced fellow. To a certain extend divorced people will always be off limits if we are to take heed of the foundation that has been laid by the Apostle Paul inspired by the Holly Spirit! Trust me I desire to be justified biblically for vowing to a divorced person but that would simply be a �three sum� if I really am to call it straight and be honest with myself! He will always be �ordained� being 'one' with his wife weather she's referred as an axe wife or anything else, that vow will only be put to an end by the death of either of the two! (Atleast that's how I understand the Apostle Paul)
So what do we do now cause we had to come to an agreement in regard to our unism? Do we put an end to all this? Do we forget we ever met? This is where and when people settle and make most of what they currently have, provided both are willing to make peace and carry on together as friends/talk/email buddies. Not necessarily that people only want that in dating sites, some yes they do. Others wanted more if only...
�What are the advantages and disadvantages of courting someone local vs from a distance?�
I'm not in courtship or in a relationship for that matter, though in attempting to answer you i'd say:
* The first disadvantage of a long distance relationship is having money involved as you've already mentioned! Generosity and willingness to �spend/invest� through finance too, for the sake of making efforts to get to know the other is already at the forefront right at the beginning of things. I don't mean it in a sense of having money directly transferred to ones account (as warned not to in most dating sites) but rather through phone calls and other means of communicating away from the premises of the dating site. Then again it would have been the same even if one was courting someone from his/her home country. The difference is spending less on local than international!
* Differences in regard to cultures. This one is just as important as ensuring that both parties are equally yoked.
* Distance may compromise you opportunities of enjoying activities together that you both like.
Advantages are:
* Distances �forces� both to learn to be patient with one another (which wasn't my strong point at the beginning). You communicate and wait patiently for the other part to respond. Already a first fruit of love is manifesting... Patience!
* There are other options of bonding and being intimate through technology. I never would have assumed that Rick is so energetic and passionately active in riding and racing until I saw him in action through videos he sent. It was dangerously crazy seeing him doing that, was fun and exciting too. A total change in an instant of how I perceived him before seeing that video. :rolleyes:
Was sort of an assurance too of his image from photos he has sent. I think both enjoy and appreciate video massaging every once in a while. It's very intimate, never would have thought!
* Distances opens wide a door of tolerance, understanding and more communication cause often times one of either parts reaches out for clarity if a sent email wasn't really understood. What is relating after all other than communicating?
Yes... Oh yes Joy it is really worth relocating if that's what it takes to explore life with that special somebody provided both parties are on the same page in either pursuing a personal relationship or a very meaningful friendship! :nahnah:
�I started talking to him only to find out that he was married. Most likely he will not be with his wife long because she has cheated�
�As long as he's still keeping the marriage together, stay clear. If they do divorce, let it be without a shadow of a hint from you. After that ... you and he are free.�
My fellows in Christ, this is a sensitive subject I've always needed help in understanding. Would you kindly bear with me on further questions regarding this and rather help enlighten my understanding so I learn and get clarity on how this works! Hoosier, to a certain extend dear brother I do understand and agree with you that, should these two decide to divorce... �They are free from each other as you mentioned� For God does condone them divorcing only on the account of having a third part in existence illegally on their marriage!
What I carefully seek to understand further from this dear is this: �39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.�
1 Corinth7
Does this only apply to the wife genderly since she's the specified one whose under the law of the husband? Or it's a two way traffic on both genders since: The woman who was supposed to be a virgin before a sexual intercause with her husband; seals the covenant �Until death do them part� through her blood when bleeding upon the man on their first intercause!
Is she the only one expected to remain unmarried until her husband passes on weather they were divorced or not... Or same goes for the husband whose supposingly under the same vow, �till death do them part�?
What chances are there, that both are free (as we may assume) after divorce when both are yet still alive, is there an end to this vow?
