Alright Storm, I'm going to be brutally honest, but I'll do it as gently as I can.
First of all, she's separated. She isn't divorced, so she isn't on the market - and it could be a long while before she is. It's going to take time for her to heal, and you certainly don't want to be a rebound. Honestly (and speaking from experience), the last thing she needs right now is a good friend professing his love for her. It would not only make her uncomfortable, but would in fact damage your friendship.
Secondly (and this is where the brutal part comes in), you need to move out of your parents house if you hope to have a serious relationship with a single parent. I do understand your situation, I'm not putting you down in ANY way, but when the time comes she's going to be looking for someone who can offer stability - not for her, but because of her child. I know you said you're planning on moving out as soon as finances improve, and I do understand that. But if you were to approach her (in time), things were going well, and you wanted to have her over to cook her dinner...well, you see where the problem might come in. :)
As far as what qualities can you gain or change about yourself? None. Don't do that. Don't try to be something you're not to please someone else. And definitely don't try to portray an image that may not really be you. You may be great friends, but look into the future when imagining yourself with someone that is a single parent. Do you actually like kids? Are you going to be able to handle the interaction between her and her X that will most likely be a necessity? Are you ready to deal with someone with a child - this means there are times a babysitter can't be found - nights where she'll have to cancel because her child is sick - days she's going to want to spend quality mom and child time without you?
I'd love to tell you to go for it. But this isn't the time - not yet, anyway. And there is a lot that goes into a relationship with a single parent. Think long and hard about this - you have three hearts to consider.
Blessings,
Lynn
PS - I don't remember if you said she was married to the father or not - either way, give her time to get over him. You really don't want to be a rebound.
I think it's wonderful that you've found a church that you're happy in. I also think it's wonderful that you were able to put things aside and focus on learning more about God.
But one thing I noticed is that you said the new church doesn't have a Bible study. Could that possibly be why God led you there? Because He feels you're knowledgeable enough and strong enough in the Word and your faith to start one? It doesn't even have to be held at the church - you could take turns holding it in people's homes that decide to join. Just a thought - there's a gap there, and maybe you were sent to fill it.
Suggestions for dealing with holiday-related social events?
Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 01:09 AM
Honey, seriously - know that there are people at this event that will be in envy of your singleness. Sad, but true. Being "with" someone doesn't mean you're complete. Being complete is all in your heart. And if you have God, you've got it ALL!! Mingle...chat...have FUN!! Who knows- maybe someone will get to know you a little, and think - "She would get along really well with *insert name here.* In any case, enjoy yourself. Don't worry about what others are probably not thinking in the first place. (And incidentally, I took my 21 year old daughter to my 25 year class reunion - we had a BLAST!!)
I'll certainly be praying for him - and for you and your other son that you will have peace. I can't imagine how this is tearing you apart. It amazes me that she can get away with this after all these years.
I totally understand what you're saying, brown-eyed, but do you think it's better for a child to grow up in a loving home with two same-sex parents and have a distorted view of God, or is it better for the child to grow up in an orphanage or foster home that may not be the best and find God's truth later in life (or even earlier in life from their own studies/friends/teachers, etc)?
And on the other hand, God does have a purpose for everyone. The orphaned child placed in a family with same sex parents may be the person that leads them out of their sinful lifestyle later in life and leads them to God.
I do agree with you that gay marriage is wrong. It adds all kinds of different thoughts and feelings when you add children to the mix, though.
Coffee sounds great - as for not keeping the guy, well, it was the other way around. Lol. That's a coffee story. Ha Ha
I don't think I would every fully recover if I heard the 911 tapes of some of the things that go on. I started going back to college for Criminal Justice awhile back and they accidentally stuck me in a 4th year class in my first term. We were studying child murders and I couldn't take it. There are still times that I remember some of the pictures I saw in that class and I cry my eyes out. The brutality toward children at the hands of adults has to be THE sickest, vilest thing this world has to offer. I just praise God that these kids are with Him now, in the best possible place we will all be someday.
A big shout out goes to Ian for his work with the Creation Museum project - this is absolutely incredible!! I won't post the link to the video that I saw, but I'm hoping he'll get the hint and post it himself. :) The people who could be won to Christ by this is mind boggling!!! I want to see this in the states someday, Ian!!!!!!! (It will go over so well, you can make another one for down here, right? Lol) I'm praying God blesses this abundantly!!
