Brandon's right. I especially want to echo the be happy alone. Only then can you truly "give" of yourself. Men are also visually stimulated. Doesn't make it right, or explainable, but it is what it is. Me personally, I check out the ring finger left hand first, to see what's going on there. Then I move to the shoulders. Is she standing up straight? Paying attention to her surroundings? Or is she walking with her head down, eyes on the ground arms crossed looking like she just got hit in the stomach?
It's also confidence. I have a female friend, and anytime I try to set her up with someone, she gives me a million and one reasons why it's not gonna work, and why he's not gonna like her. The poor guy is usually shot out of the water before she ever lays eyes on him. (Ladies, you're all awesome, and I love these forums, but all women, please re-read this paragraph. Please don't do this to yourself, it drives guys NUTS!) :glow:
What do we value? That's individual and personal to each man. And sometimes they don't even know what they want. However, taking time to make the distinction between guys and MEN: Guys are simple, easy to control, easy to read, and easily gone. MEN are complex, difficult, and probably frustrating. I'd say most guys are looking for someone who's personality/skills/attributes play off of their own personality.
Why do most women shy away from learning self-defense? I understand carrying mace, and staying out of bad situations, but what do you do when trouble comes looking for you?
@alamelic. I personally am a saved and practicing born again Christian. My girlfriend in this situation was a virgin when she entered the relationship, and she left (or got left) the relationship as a virgin. There's a huge difference between punishing yourself for your sin, and learning from it. I'm more than happy to share my own mistakes in the hopes that others will learn from them. However, Christ already suffered so much more for me than anything I could hope to put myself through as "punishment." So there really is nothing I can do, just confess and learn from it.
To all: I asked my girl what it would take to make her calm down about me being around other women. Her verbatim response was "you don't need any other women." I understand that to a point, but it did seem quite extreme to me. I love my family. My mom and my sister are both women. I don't NEED them in my life, I WANT them there though, and anyone who tries to take them away from me, well, they'll see my German heritage REAL QUICK. I also refuse to quit my job, but we have to hire women. Equal opportunity employment. These laws are man-made, and we're to obey them unless they contradict God's law. I also will not tell a cashier that "no, you can't help me because you're a woman." However, this is what my girl at the time wanted me to do. And I'm not joking.
The reason I left my girl was the cheating, I also knew I wouldn't be able to hold on to a relationship that demanded that I forsake ALL other women (including family) even before marriage. I mean, what am I supposed to do if I get pulled over by a female cop?
I want to clarify for all, I did not have "inappropriate relations" with the nurse. This nurse got me back to her house in the simplest way possible. She boxes. She told me I looked like I needed something to beat on. We went back to her place. Well, she sure does box, and after breaking my nose (and fixing it) She just let me cry my heart out on her shoulder.
When I woke up in the morning, I still had my blood, and some of the nurse's in all likelihood on my stomach and chest. The nurse had left a for work, and just left a note asking me to lock up before I left.
I've been noticing this thread going in several different ways. With questions as to what cheating is. I never slipped and put my -----into her anything. I couldn't tell you where this girl lived, what her house looks like, as I never even made it out of the basement. However, her kindness did go to show me that I couldn't continue my relationship, because I can't deal with jealousy.
I'm opposed to violence against women. I DO respect them as equals, both on the athletic field, and in personal life. That's why I felt comfortable boxing this girl. But it made me think long and hard. I realized that more people I love are going to die, and it would be as bad the next time, as it was the first time, as it was this time, or worse. I also realized that if I continued in the relationship, that most likely this situation would repeat itself, and that as Brandon said, she'd be too needy when I couldn't deal with it. Or, even worse, she'd start to get in my face about how I wasn't "emotionally available" when I'm having a completely normal reaction to losing a loved one. Imagine that, you lose someone you love, and all you hear is someone yelling at you about how YOU aren't paying THEM enough attention...it's not nice:goofball:
Hey guys, thanks for not taking any shots at me:glow: Brandon, I laughed when I read your response:). Aside from my own story, I think men cheat because they're wired differently from women. Men are looking for one thing, and that's "release" once that's done, it's over with, and often, so is the desire to cheat. If one's in a loving relationship, he's already fallen for the woman, and his "mistake" is something physical. With women, it tends to run "deeper" into them I think. Most women wouldn't make the mistake of actually "doing" anything if it hasn't been running through her mind already.
In looking at my own story, I would like to say that I called my girl early the next day, and left her, and never spoke to her again. The nurse I remain friends with to this day. I know it sounds horrible, but since it's out there...
You asked for honesty, so here goes. To all the ladies that read this, I'm ME. I speak for MYSELF and am explaining MY actions. If you have a problem with what I say, please direct your anger at ME, not any of the other dudes who may post up to this. Likewise, if you've got a problem with what THEY say, realize THEY only speak for THEMSELVES. Just as no woman should feel they have to represent all women, no man can speak for all men. Now that the disclaimer's done, This is MY answer.
I dated a girl a few year back. Real sweetheart, but real jealous. REALLY jealous. Jealous like I had to explain to her that I wanted to spend Christmas day with my family. (Selfish, I know, and yes, I'm being sarcastic, but actually had to explain that to her.)
I got a phone call one night that my aunt was in the hospital, and not long for this earth, and that I'd better get here NOW if I ever wanted to see her on this side of heaven again. I started driving to the hospital. While I was on my way, my girl called me. She asked me if I wanted to see a movie that night. I explained that my aunt was dying, and I wanted to see her that night, and I wouldn't be able to do anything. (we didn't have plans, so I was not blowing her off either.) My girl started on this rant about how I'd rather spend time with other women than her. I listened, without saying a word till I got to the hospital's parking garage. I knew I'd lose signal in there, and prioritized seeing my dying aunt over listening to my girl yell at me. I told my girl I wasn't hanging up, but about to lose signal. This did not stop the yelling :(.
Well, the doctors were right, and my family was all with my aunt in her final moments. Afterwards, we all went our separate ways. My sister took my nephews home, my parents went home, and I realized there's a bar right across the street from the hospital. Well, I got back to my car, got my cell phone to call a couple people and give them the news about what happened. On my cell were more than twenty text messages and seven voicemails telling me what kind of p person I was for leaving my girlfriend sit home alone while I went to go visit another woman.
After being yelled at immediately before and after losing a love one, I was not happy with my girl at all, I threw my cell phone back in my car, and decided to hit the bar, and that Mr. Septa driver was gonna take me home that night. (My reason for hitting the bar was I needed a drink after losing a loved one. My girl's messages only compounded that, and made me feel bad about myself on top of what I was already feeling) What I did not realize was that this bar was the hotspot for nurses getting off their shifts. (After losing my aunt, I was not thinking clearly, and the fact that the bar was across the street from the hospital should've given me pause, but like I said, kinda feeling a bit numb and stupid.)
Well, I was sitting at a booth, when there was plenty of room at the bar, because I wanted to be alone. One of the nurses from the S.T.U. (surgical trauma unit) was getting off her shift, and recognized me as she was one of the people who'd been taking care of my aunt.
I think as most nurses would, she saw someone in pain, and tried to do something about it. She walked up to me, with a shot for each of us, sat down, proposed a toast, and asked me if I needed to talk. Boy did I ever, and I'm sure you can see where this is going...
Again, this is ME, and MY story. Each man is each man, so don't blame them for what I did, but I'll own up to MY own actions
When I read this, I thought it were right, but I gotta go with DHTM. I ALWAYS use mine, even when the bulbs die, I keep pushing the lever down once every second so it looks like I've actually got a turn signal. On the other hand, I'm as about as expressive as a brick.
I was thinking about this last night, and two situations came to mind. I came up on a missions recruiting base. No one there earned a dime, they all lived off the support of others. They didn't have to pay rent, but didn't earn an income because the mission owned the property. In fact, neither of my parents has earned a "paycheck" since I was born 29 years ago. So I'm not sure if that applies to this, but it goes to show me that money and God's will can often be at odds with one another. (There were about 80 families at that mission, and same story across the board.)
However, when I think of a "man" I can't imagine people more focused on doing God's work. My second example is a friend from that same mission. He's a doctor. MD. He could be driving a benz, living in a mansion with his wife and three kids. Instead he's in Kyrgistan, working in a medical system where they can't even afford clean needles between patients. Money's good and all, don't get me wrong, but I've seen plenty of good done for the world by people who "let go and let God..."
Baby girl, haven't you ever seen Fight Club? You are not the car you drive or how much money you have in the bank! No, dating someone who earned more than me would not bother me. I only have high school education, so it's something I've already come to terms with. I'd love to get married someday, and as long as my woman's doing something she loves, I don't care how much money she makes. If more than me, great, if not, then we'll just have to spend more time just enjoying each others company at home, because we can't afford to go out anywhere glow::
Can I kick this back to you? Would it make you any more masculine if you earned the majority of the income? (I think you already know that answer.) Besides, it's just money, it grows from trees!
Not looking for a parent for my child...yeah right
Posted : 16 Jul, 2010 02:17 PM
Without prejudice against anyone, shouldn't the fact that these people run at the mention of "single parent" tell you all you need to know right there? I really wish I could think of a nicer way to put this, and even reading it, it seems abrasive and argumentative, and that's not what I'm trying to do at all. I'm not a single parent, and so all who are can feel justified in ignoring this post, and not that I support the people who run, but isn't it better to find that out in the beginning? Best of luck in your search!
