Big PurpleA, you are wise not to give out too much personal information initially.
I think true Christians will respect you for that and seek to get to know more about you as a person (goals, interests, morals, etc.) rather than rushing into a personal relationship.
Personally, I give out my first name even in an initial message, but I can understand reasons for not even doing that.
Good question. And, I think it applies to both men and women.
My guesses (and they are just guesses) is that some persons are reluctant to share much personal information initially, some don't want to take the time to do it or don't know what to put down, and some want to avoid putting something that would put someone off.
Personally, I put much information on my profile and would prefer all men and women to do the same.
My guess, cupcakeme, is that reasons many guys are reluctant to contact persons outside their city or state include the time and money involved in traveling to another location, as well as the expense and difficulties in relocating to a new location if the relationship progresses.
Personally, I am happy developing friendships with persons from any area. But, my closest friendships are generally with those whom I can spend more time in person with.
But, I am happy being single and celibate, reluctant to rush into any romantic relationship, and find some friendships/relationships via email, etc., rewarding.
Different guys are attracted to different types of girls.
Personally, I seek persons with whom I share common goals, interests, and morals.
A girl who has a friendly extroverted personality, is physically attractive, has a nice smile, and shows interest in guys may make the best first impression on guys.
But a girl's inner beauty, her morals, etc., are the most important thing. And for a quality lasting relationship, I think common goals, interests, and morals are the key, as I indicated earlier.
I see no real problem with your profile photo, okiekans777. The most noticeable negative thing I see is that you appear to be a bit overweight, but you note in your profile that you have lost some weight and are still dieting.
Furthermore, for me (and many others), having common goals, interests, and morals is far more important than personal appearance. Indeed, some of my best friends are overweight.
Some of your interests (museums, travel, board and card games, walking) are things I enjoy as well. If we lived closer together, I think we could maybe be good friends.
However, I am happy being single and celibate and doubt that we have enough in common to ever be right to be in a romantic relationship, even if we did live near each other.
However, if you develop friendships with persons you meet at your church, museums, travels, online, etc., maybe one of those will develop into the close relationship you seek.
I do think it is important not to seek to rush into romance, though. But, that's my opinion.
And, your profile reference to being involved in a Charismatic church may indicate that your best hopes to find the one special someone to be your spouse are via meeting another believer with similar beliefs at your church or another similar one. I am a nondenominational Christian and enjoy visiting a variety of churches, including Charismatic ones. But I most enjoy churches that emphasize disciplined obedience to God over emotional singing, shouting, etc. I know little about your church, but the Charismatic churches I've visited seem to emphasize an emotional experience more than a logical, rational obedience to God in service.
I hope my words are helpful. If so, God deserves the credit. If not, recognize they are my opinion, not the word of God. At any rate, I pray for God's perfect will for you in all things. You seem to be a person sincerely seeking to follow God. Praise God!
Personally, I think that initially it is better to have a detailed profile filled out than a photo.
Knowing what a person's goals morals, and interests are is more important to me than their personal appearance. For example, do they lie, steal, get drunk, smoke, fornicate, etc.? What do they do in their spare time? What type of work or volunteer activities are they involved in?
Persons can attract the wrong people based on appearance as an earlier poster noted. And some persons may be embarrassed to have it known that they have a profile on a dating site, so wouldn't want to post a picture that might be seen by friends, relatives, church members, etc.
Personally, I do post a picture. And I note on my profile when it was taken. But I also post a detailed profile that hopefully helps persons know much more about me than can be seen from a photo.
Yes, photos are nice. But I don't see them as the most important criteria.
DbMaree, thanks for your kinds words. I'm blessed with a few such friendships.
Finding receptive individuals and communicating one's intentions clearly are keys to success in developing friendship only relationships with members of the opposite sex, as I see it.
Ideally, I believe even romantic relationships would begin as platonic friendships, doing things together with a friend with whom one shares common interests, goals, and morals.
It is important to communicate that fact clearly in the relationship though.
I Corinthians 7:5-10 contains some great words on remaining single, as well as the preference to marry instead of being lustful or involved in fornication. Discipline and self control under the Holy Spirit's guidance are keys to success in either choice. Even married people face the temptation to commit adultery. I Corinthians 10:13 is a good verse to remember when facing temptation.
As for starting conversations, complimenting someone on some aspect (their appearance, attitude, work ethic, morals, etc.) is one way. If you share common interests, goals, hobbies, etc., that provides an opening for conversation. And if you meet someone at a church or school or in line at the grocery, asking the person what they think about the sermon message, assignment, store, etc., can initiate a conversation. Just smiling and showing interest in another person by asking them a question about their interests can open the door to a conversation. And if you meet lots of people daily at school, work, church, the grocery, library, on the bus, etc., you can briefly converse in a general way about something wherever you are at to initiate a conversation. But, don't try to push it if the person is busy. And casual conversations can be friendly without leading to something more.
