I believe God may have one special person in mind for each of us. And I think it is very important not to rush into a romantic relationship with the wrong person.
Personally, I think it is better to develop friendships with various persons. Then gradually build closer relationships with those with whom one has much in common.
After we get to know people well, if there is a particular person with similar goals, interests, and morals, then can begin the progress toward becoming a couple.
Ideally, I think it is best to not even kiss someone until the minister states "You may kiss the bride" at the wedding. There will be plenty of time to practice romance after the wedding.
Even for married couples, I think romance is a small part of the 168 hours in a week, so it's important that a couple know each other well, have common goals, interests, and morals, and trust one another. Comnunication is a key.
I firmly believe that marriage ideally should be for a lifetime. with one particular person, whenever reasonably possible. In that sense, yes I think God has one person for each person who becomes married. And ideally, God will be first, above one's spouse.
I don't know exactly what you said in the 14 messages you sent or the specific characteristics of the people you sent them to, molded.
If the messages were sent recently to persons with whom you share many common characteristics, maybe you will still get a reply from one or more of them.
Be patient. Persons probably don't always reply immediately after reading messages, especially from strangers. Indeed, taking time to think and pray about a message before replying can be beneficial.
But, it is possible that the persons decided (for whatever reason) not to reply. For example, although your profile states you are looking for "anything," many of the persons on the site are only looking for something specific, and may not reply to a message from someone who doesn't meet that one particular need, as they see it.
The most important thing may be to avoid rushing into too close a relationship with the wrong person. Perhaps you had less in common with those 14 people than you thought. Maybe there was some important difference between your profile and theirs, even though you had some things in common.
Personally, I seek to reply at least briefly to the messages I receive on Christian Dating for Free, even if it is to just politely state I feel a lack of common goals and interests with a particular person and to express the desire they find the other persons that are right for them.
But one reason I can reply to the messages I receive is that I receive few messages. My profile is specific enough that I think it screens out a lot of people who might otherwise message me to ask questions that are already answered in my profile.
I hope my reply has helped you in some way. If so, God deserves the credit, not me. I pray for God's perfect will for you, molded, in your search for the right relationships.
I strongly believe that sexual abstinence until marriage is best.
Ideally, I think relationships should begin as friendships, with any type of romance coming later.
It is hard to evaluate someone objectively when one's hormones are racing. If one can wait until the minister states "you may kiss the bride" at the wedding to even have the first kiss, I think that is even better. Even kissing can arouse emotions that lead to more intimate contact.
So, my personal advice is to develop friendships first. Then develop a closer friendship if you share common morals, goals, and interests. Take romance very slowly.
Yes, I strongly support not being sexually intimate with someone before marriage.
Ideally, it is best to begin as just friends. Then if you have many compatible goals, interests, and morals, become closer friends.
Once romantic attraction and sexual intimacy begin, it is hard to evaluate a person objectively. And even in a marriage, being close enough friends with a spouse to be able to communicate openly and honestly with each other about a variety of things and to work out differences when the occur, is more important that romance.
Sexual intimacy is only one component in a relationship , even when persons are married and together a good part of the 168 hours in a week. Once trust and open communication occur, I think the sexual intimacy can follow as the married couple communicate what makes them happy and learn how to make that one special person happy.
Many books, videos, etc., are available to for married couples on developing sexual intimacy, though I admit that as a single person I have not read/watched them.
The words "long term relationship" are in my opinion overused and misused. I don't use them myself. I have friends both male and female that I've had for many years, but avoid using that term to describe the relationship.
"To be a good friend or partner" as I see it, one would seek to be caring, compassionate, hard working, honest, have integrity, be truthful, and in general have nice moral values.
As a friendship proceeds and trust develops, open communication about a wide variety of things is important. In a close friendship or marriage, being able to talk to one another effectively is key. I think romantic love, ideally ought to come after friendship, not before.
To be a good partner/spouse, I think having common goals, interests, and morals is key, as is having the ability to trust one another and communicate openly about even personal matters.
I don't think it is necessarily rude not to reply to a "wink." You have the option to respond or not to respond to a "wink."
But a "wink" is I guess a way to express interest, without taking the time to send a message.
If I received a "wink," I would probably look at the person's profile, then if the profile interested me, I would send the person a brief message, perhaps asking them to tell me more themselves.
Even if I wasn't interested, I would probably reply with a brief "thank you" for the wink and mention my lack of interest in a polite way, perhaps with a specific reason for my lack of interest.
I see no major problems with profile, snikkers. I think the right person for you could see enough to appeal to them. You provided several interesting and appealing details about yourself.
Some potential negatives for you at least with some people could be (1) you live far away from them geographically (2) you are a social drinker and they abstain from alcohol (3) you are divorced and they wonder about what led to it, what you learned from it, etc. , (4) having children is a potential negative with some persons.
My closest friends are persons like me, who, for example, abstain from alcoholic beverages. I certainly have friends who are "social drinkers," but my most of my best friends are like me abstainers. But, even among Christians, I am in the minority. I don't see "social drinking," if it is in moderation, as a significant obstacle for you.
Divorce could be a bigger factor with some Christians. But there are likely many persons on this site that are divorced. Still, it might be good to explain briefly in a positive way about your divorce, either (1) what led to it, and/or even better (2) what you learned from it, and/or perhaps better yet (3) why you are now ready to move on from it to a new relationship. Lots of divorced men are probably on this site and even never-married single Christians in many cases would consider a serious relationship or marriage with a divorced person who is now on the right path.
Having children is a negative with some people, and for better or worse women often end up with custody after divorces. But lots of divorced men and women have children. A divorced man can perhaps better address the role of children in dating than someone like me who is single without children. However, persons may wonder how custody issues, adding a "new dad or mom", etc., will affect a parent-child relationship and a potential second marriage. I think it is important that a prospective mate get along at least reasonably well with your children.
Overall, I thought your profile was reasonably well done. Perhaps the biggest problem is that there are not enough persons active on the site, but I don't know.
I pray for God's perfect will for you and your family in the future.
I'm James and am happy being single and celibate. But I enjoy meeting new people, especially persons with whom I share common goals, interests, and morals.
I prefer developing friendships slowly and am reluctant to show one person favorable treatment over others, which is necessary to develop the closeness that leads to marriage. But I would love to develop some new friendships.
I pray for God's perfect will for everyone, whatever that may be. Enjoy God's blessings!
I'm happy being single and celibate, but I joined this site as one avenue to develop additional friendships, especially with persons with similar, goals, interests, and morals.
I remain open to the possibility of marriage, but for me romance is the caboose and not the engine. I prefer developing a relationship slowly, and it might just remain as a friendship.
