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teach_ib

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women in uniform
Posted : 23 Jul, 2011 06:35 PM

I received plenty of compliments when in my military uniform. I know many happily married couples who met while serving together in the military. I know many military women married to civilian men.



It's not what people wear...it's how they wear it.

teach_ib

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Viewing MY Matches
Posted : 21 Jul, 2011 08:29 PM

I'm with you on this...I stopped using that feature a long time ago. Keep in mind this is a truly free site...unlike the majority of the others that lure you in and then won't let you communicate until you pay. This site provides some good options for narrowing the search...better than many of the pay for use sites.

teach_ib

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how do ya know its time to give up????
Posted : 21 Jul, 2011 08:22 PM

I can relate. It's one of those mysteries. I pray for wisdom and discernment...for the right mate or the ability to accept my singleness. I don't consider that being double minded...if God decides I am to stay single, then I need to be able to accept it. Philippians 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."



Keep praying...and searching.

teach_ib

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Red Flags
Posted : 21 Jul, 2011 07:45 PM

Yes, these are red flags. Thankfully you found out before you were in a marriage. Better to be alone than be with someone you are suspect of.

teach_ib

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what to ask to figure out if someone is a Christian in the first couple conversations...
Posted : 1 Nov, 2010 08:15 PM

You can always ask them if they know if they're going to Heaven...if they know for sure, they're a Christian. If they don't, you have an opportunity to witness to them...explain how they can know.

teach_ib

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How am I supposed to know?
Posted : 30 Oct, 2010 07:22 PM

I suggest providing your contact info first...something like, I've enjoyed 'chatting' with you on this forum. Maybe we can talk on the phone...here's my number...give me a call when you feel comfortable. In the mean time, I'd like to keep this line of communication open.



Keep sending messages and don't pressure her for a phone call. If she's interested, she'll call eventually.



If she runs, she wasn't who God had in mind for you.

teach_ib

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making some bad mistakes and need some advice
Posted : 30 Oct, 2010 07:11 PM

I recommend adding additional info to your profile to spark conversation. Since you list you are looking to start a business or new work, you might want to talk about that in your profile. This is a tough time in the job market; however, you should indicate what you do for work.



It is a turn off for a guy to immediate ask to leave this forum to talk in private e-mail or IM. I've seen many guys in their first contact provide an e-mail and give an excuse that they can't use the website to communicate...but they can use yahoo or gmail.

teach_ib

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What has your faith cost you?
Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 06:07 PM

Not nearly as much as if I had no faith. My last marriage because I refused to compromise my faith.



My faith brought me through the untimely deaths of 2 of my sisters, a promotion I should have gotten but didn't (no explanation for it...but I got the promotion later and it worked out for my good), and many other challenges.



I can't imagine how people go through the trials of life without a faith in God.

teach_ib

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Christian Woman? how important is this?
Posted : 21 Oct, 2010 08:46 PM

Denomination does matter in a relationship because the church one attends helps to define the core beliefs. I believe Baptists, Catholics, Evangelicals, Episcopaleans, Apostolics, etc can all be Christians; however, we do not all worship the same. I grew up in one type of Baptist church...my dad is an ordained preacher in the church...but I now attend a different type of Baptist church.



The standards you mentioned (women wearing only dresses, no jewelry, etc) are not confined to just Apostolic. I attended Baptist churches with some of the same standards. When I served in one, I adhered to its standards, even though I didn't fully agree with the Biblical reference. Because it wasn't whether I wore pants that determined my Salvation or who I was. At that particular time in my life, I was a representative of that church and made the decision to adhere to the accepted standards.



Circumstances led me to a different church of similar beliefs except pants are not forboden (and I am relieved).



You will need to reflect on what you have been taught in your church, study the Bible (all of it, not just a handful of verses that have been cited), and pray about it. There is nothing wrong with having standards for yourself and expectations for your spouse to accept those standards. I know many women who are comfortable with the standard of wearing only dresses...I'm not one of them...but I respect them for being able to uphold that standard.



As for make-up and jewelry...I personally choose not to wear either...even on my wedding day. I don't worry about looking pale in a photo...I like how God made me, freckles and all.

teach_ib

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Yours and Mine, or Ours?
Posted : 21 Oct, 2010 08:18 PM

I concur that there is not right answer; however, they should develop a joint plan/budget to ensure all the bills (tithe, mortgage/rent, utilities, groceries, etc) are paid before individual money is spent on luxuries. Otherwise, you open yourself up for potential financial problems.



If both are not in agreement on how the mortgage/rent will be paid, the other partner may spend their money on whatever. When the mortgage doesn't get paid, it affects both's credit and well-being.



Once you put your name on a joint account of any kind (even as a co-signer), the actions (or lack of actions) of the other will affect your credit. Bad credit can affect your ability to get a job, other loans, etc.



How to handle finances should be discussed BEFORE the marriage. You probably will have an idea of whether you're dating a spender or a saver. Establishing guidelines like how much can be spent without conferring with the other, whether you should take a chunk of your savings to pay down a bill, etc are good topics of discussion/planning.

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