I can appreciate what you are saying and feeling. Don't give up on your dreams and desires. Maybe God is letting you wait to get through college and ready to support that wife and family you are planning for.
If your goal is to become a software engine, school should be your focus right now. I am a Computer systems engineer....it's tough to go to school and juggle a family...and technical career fields require a lot of extra time....but it can be really rewarding.
Here's a couple suggestions to make your profile a little more appealing:
Post a good picture of you smiling...you have good looks...a smile would strengthen them.
Probably reduce some of the geek speak...too much techie talk up front...I understand it because that's my area of expertise...others probably will think they have to be a rocket scientist to communicate with you.
Keep participating in church activities and maybe find other churches that have college and career groups. If there are Christian orgs on campus (Campus Crusades for Christ, etc) get involved...even if they don't completely align with your core beliefs, there may be someone there that may be in agreement.
When I was in Korea for a year, I joined a Friday night group sponsored by the Chapel...people of all ages and denominations...it was the best thing I could have done to continue to grow during that phase of my life.
Keep the faith...God wants to give you the desire of your heart.
I find it discouraging to think there are all these Christians who say they are looking for a good Christian but won't even greet their fellow Christians with a respectful response to a friendly hi.
I confess I haven't always responded...sometimes I wait to see if the person will be banned before I respond...seems to happen too frequently lately.
Online opens the volume of people...haven't found the right person at church, work, the gym, store, etc...but I won't give up as I still believe God may have someone there...in the meantime, I will reach out in friendship. I think sometimes that may be God's plan for me...at least it provides an avenue for discussion beyond shop talk or who's doing what in the family.
My loneliest times are when I desire someone close to share an experience with me...making a life changing decision (job change, retirement, move, etc), vacation/day trip, special event (Christmass, birthday or even loss of a loved one). Someone who has a vested interest in the outcome...a shoulder to cry on, a person to rejoice with or share a breathtaking view with.
There is a reason God said two are better than one...some things in life are meant to be shared!
And there should not be an issue with a woman being emotionally, spiritually, or physically strong. God gave us all different talents and abilities. He has allowed us to go through different trials and temptations...gone through different fires with different results. This all makes up who we are and should be a plus in any relationship.
We should be able to glean on others' strengths to make up for our weaknesses...and yes, we all have weaknesses.
Robert....I agree we should approach a website as close to real life as possible without sacrificing safety and security. Posting realistic photos is part of the process...because like it or not we all, even women, are visual people.
I find it just as irritating that men don't include pictures of themselves on their profile. Even more irritating is doing a search against profiles with photos only and finding a picture of a flag, dog, etc...and not a single picture of the individual...that is deceptive and not very Christ-like.
I also don't like seeing pictures of men without shirts on...if I can't post a picture without a shirt on...(not that I would). Men should adhere to a standard, too. Save something for your future mate.
Yes, I'm probably a little more 'old-fashioned' or conservative than most...those are just my preferences.
I disagree...I have many purposes in life that fill much of my time. Involvement in ministries through church, work that more than fills my days with meaningful purpose, and family that I stay involved with. Even with all that there are still times I feel lonely. There is a void that work, church, family cannot fill...and it's not the void that Christ filled when I accepted Him as my Savior. God designed us for companionship...He saw man alone and said it wasn't good. He made a female to help him. Just as a man needs a woman as a helpmeet, a woman needs a man to provide that help to. Without that missing partner, life does not feel complete.
Does a spouse solve all loneliness? No, but the amount of loneliness will be less frequent. Having someone to share life's daily challenges and rewards reduces loneliness.
It is a challenge...I can feel lonely in a crowd or at family events. Sometimes I'll go to a store/mall and just roam around, go to a park and watch others, go online to chat forums, go to a game.
The cooling off period allows time to think through what is happening. Sometimes it's not what is happening at that moment that is triggering anger, frustration, whatever. It could be something else that happened earlier and taking time to think through why you're upset, who you're upset with, and what triggered the reaction can help get through the situation without an argument.
Often times the 'cause' is something totally different than what either partner thinks it is. I use a cooling off time to think about all that then I can reasonably discuss the issue.
Everyone handles stress and conflict differently. A good relationship is built on understanding how your spouse needs to process it. Pushing a spouse that needs cooling off to open up and talk before he/she is ready is setting up for an argument and regrettable words. Waiting 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes shouldn't be too difficult for hours, days, weeks of agreeable conversation.
