If you have to pull it up or press it down, you shouldn't be wearing it!
Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 05:41 PM
Not all people in a church service are Christian or mature Christians. In my church, you may see people less moderately dressed than most...we minister to wide range of people...you have to get them in to get them saved and then start the discipleship.
Babes in Christ may not fully understand the affect their dress may gave on others (I'm just as offended by women or men who fail to dress modestly). We need to work with gently, with love...don't get too legalistic too soon.
I attended a church for many years that taught women wearing pants was sin. I saw too many new Christian women being pressured to change dress standards before they really understood the change in their heart...and were driven way from the church.
Being in the DC metro area, I would go to a Smithsonian museum or the zoo...depending on weather and time of year. Driving through the mountains, particularly in the fall, would be another option. I've gone to visit friends and family. Always include church services on Sunday. Maybe help a neighbor or elderly friend with some projects.
Long distance relationships can work...thet're not easy but what relationship is easy?
You have to consider how and when to meet face to face. Airfare can become expensive and you have to weigh how mich time off you can take to meet. If it takes a day to travel to the destination and a day to get back, that will take even more effort.
Usually a long distance relationship can provide better opportunities to talk through things because that is what you have to do.
Military families go through long distance relationships on a regular basis. I know many that adapt to it during the season that they have to.
I wouldn't recommend either pack up and move closer until the relationship is really firm...a marriage proposal...and much discussion on which location makes the most sense. It may even be a third location in the middle.
I would actually think the younger you are, the easier it would be to consider relocating. Later in life, ther may be children/grandchildren to consider. Or, jobs...being invested in a company may be a determining factor.
Sounds like you need to find a way to get out of your mother's home sooner rather than later. You don't need to wait until you get married to move out. If you can find someone to rent a room from or rent an apartment, go for it. It will help you mentally and emotionally prepare for a wife. You will also be able to eventually forgive your mother for the wrong she's done...whether she asks for it or not.
The online search is as frustrating as offline searching, IMHO.
I've met people in person and had similar experiences as online. Years ago, thought this one guy at my very samll church was interested in me. We had gone out many times together. Then suddenly he started bringing a female classmate with him. I must have very blind and naive...it was long until he announced he was engaged to her.
Another similar situation many years later...many people, including our pastor thought we would make a great couple. He didn't...a humbling experience as I became friends with his future wife. Thankfully, God gave me the stength to not be bitter as I am still friends with both of them...that's been about 13 years.
I find it easier to accept rejection through online sites...not that I like it. It's more anonymous.
Pretty powerful summary...not necessarily the right conclusion. God loves you and has purpose for you. You won't have those things you want with a defeatist attitude.
Accepting who you are and the circumstances God allowed you to live through will help prepare you for a spouse.
Have you talked with a Christian counselor about the challenges you've faced in your life?
Neither of my parents had bad eye sight...and I'm the only one out eight kids that needs glasses to the extent I do. Don't really think it was genetically passed down.
If you have to pull it up or press it down, you shouldn't be wearing it!
Posted : 16 Aug, 2011 09:31 PM
I've never had a problem with dressing modestly...but my definition of modestly may not align with yours or others.
I find it interesting that everyone has advice for how a woman should dress...but I rarely hear how a man should dress. Personally, I think men should keep their shirts on...and not wear the tank top undershirt as an other garment. Button your shirt...probably wear a t-shirt under your dress shirt. Pants should not expose underwear or what should be covered by it. Spandex is out...unless your biking...and even then only if you're competitive...and only in a competition or training. Swimming Trunks should be long enough to cover your thighs...
Ok...that's off my chest...I have sat through too many sermons and lessons on how women should/should not dress and don't think I've heard a handful on how Godly men should dress...
I'm always analyzing situations...trying to think why people say and do things and why I react a certain way to it. I try to keep in mind that I can only truly change how I react to others...I can't change them necessarily.
